Daily Report – Sunday, June 17, 2018

The Sunday Bottom Ten returns to action this week. Recall last week we were too tired to be bothered to produce it, and this week’s thriller is a combination of items from the past fortnight.

The Sunday Bottom Ten is one of those things in life that leave you wondering what took you so long? We have, of course, been producing the football Bottom Ten columns for most of this century, and why a general interest Bottom Ten took so long to produce is not clear, except for the fact us writers write what inspires us because if we don’t we’re not writers we are typists. We had thought about one occasionally over the years, but the inspiration never really hit until earlier this year.

Things are generally pretty low key at Sparrow’s two overnight hotel jobs, but Hotel A takes center stage in today’s edition of The Diary of a Nobody, from a guy who simply cannot get enough vanilla creamer in his coffee to there not being any eggs or bacon for breakfast.

One year ago today The Thought for the Day featured a quote from President John F Kennedy, who talked about aiming for the top and not for second best.

On This Date: 
In 1885 – The Statue of Liberty arrives in New York Harbor. Made of copper and designed by French sculptor Frederic Bartholdi, it was present from France to the United States. After some fundraising, construction of the pedestal and assembly, the Statue of Liberty was dedicated in October of 1886.

In 1915 – George ‘Zip’ Zabel of the Chicago Cubs establishes the major league record for the longest relief appearance, pitching 18 1/3 innings as the Cubs beat the Brooklyn Robins – now known as the Dodgers – 4-3. Zabel had relieved starter Bert Humphries in the first inning when Humphries was unable to continue after taking a line drive off the hand.

In 1972 – Sammy Davis Jr’s The Candy Man, remains at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the second of three weeks. Despite a prolific recording career, the charts were never particularly kind to the supremely talented Davis. The Candy Man was his only #1 hit, one of just two Top 10 hits and one of his eight Top 40 hits.

Many thanks for reading. Have a good day.
Gaylon

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The Sunday Bottom Ten #20 – June 17, 2018

The Sunday Bottom Ten #20 – June 17, 2018
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Recall this feature didn’t run last week, so this week features fiascos from the past fortnight.

1. President Trump
Mitigating Factors: Not for the first time president trots out idea of pardoning himself…He can’t because you cannot be your own judge and jury in America, though his lawyers also chatted up how Trump couldn’t break the law because as president he has ultimate control over the Justice Department…Trump also rumored to be using toilet paper printed with US Constitution in White House can.
FunFact: Innocent presidents do not talk about pardoning themselves…Even Nixon’s lawyers advised against it…Hold on to your hats.  
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The Diary of a Nobody – Sat 6/16/2018

Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…

Saturday, June 16
Boy, Hotel A was a fiasco this morning…As noted in Friday’s entry, the place was hopping when I reported for duty Friday night and while it settled down, one guy with a gravelly voice and advice on virtually everything kept coming down for coffee and after his second trip he announced the vanilla creamer he preferred was all out and did I have a replacement handy???

Hell, I don’t know…I looked where it should be and yeah, turns out we did have one, the only problem being I couldn’t get the damn pump to work…This was because the pump hadn’t been screwed on the bottle properly so the guy, with some glee, suggests I unscrew the pump and let him pour in as much creamer as he wants and I wanted to ask him why stop there, why not just take a swig from it???…He didn’t seem the sort to find that funny, tho, so I didn’t ask him that…As it was, the top does come off because it wasn’t properly installed and he pours what he wants, which is a bit more than the bottle – or even taste, for that matter – dictates…This leaves me to screw it back on and eventually I get the pump working tho, needless to say, I made a bit of a mess.
Read More of the Diary Here

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Daily Report – Saturday, June 16, 2018

Despite double and triple checking that it wouldn’t happen, Sparrow’s $25 oil change ended up costing him over $50 on today’s edition of The Diary of a Nobody. The post office haul was pretty good, though, and there was some quality time with the cat before he headed in for his shift at the retailer.

Another day off for The Thought for the Day, so we pulled one from Sonny Bono for you. This was inspired by yesterday’s quote from J.C. Watts, a quote we were present at when uttered and we were present for Sonny’s quote, too. It was in December 1997, Sonny was a Congressman and speaking at a fundraiser in Holtville, California and I was newspaper reporter covering his appearance. Sonny’s quote talks about humility and honesty.  He died a month later.

On This Date:
In 1944 – George Stinney, Jr is executed for two murders in South Carolina. At 14, Stinney is the youngest person executed in the US in the 20th century. His conviction was vacated in 2014, not that it did him a lot of good.

In 1951 – Ben Hogan becomes the fifth person to win consecutive US Opens, defeating Clayton Heafner by two strokes at Oakland Hills Country Club near Detroit. It was the third of four US Open wins for Hogan, who earned $4,000, about $39,000 in today’s money.

In 1979 – Hot Stuff by Donna Summer returns to the #1 position on Billboard’s Hot 100 chart, the second of three weeks the song would spend at #1. It had been knocked out of the #1 position the previous week the Bee Gees Love You Inside and Out. Hot Stuff was written by Peter Bellotte, Harold Faltermeyer and Keith Forsey and produced by Bellotte and Giorgio Moroder.

Have a great day, and many thanks for reading.
Gaylon

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The Diary of a Nobody – Fri 6/15/2018

Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…

Friday, June 15
Boy, I was not happy with my oil change experience today…It was the local shop, where we usually get the tires changed out and that’s always worked well, but not today.

I had called yesterday to ask how much an oil change was…Cassandra, who it turns out does not know what in theeee hell she is talking about, quoted me a price of $25…Wow…That’s a pretty good price, so I asked if that included everything or if there were extras like, oh, I don’t know, oil and filters and stuff…She said no, $25 was the out the door price…Well, $25 is half what it costs in town, so I made an appointment.
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Daily Report – Friday, June 15, 2018

Today on The Diary of a Nobody, Sparrow gets down to business as commander of his Sons of the Legion squadron after his adjutant, Tim, calls him wondering what the deal is with all the paperwork he was sent. They decide to hold a meeting of the squadron and Sparrow fills out some of the paperwork himself and later makes an appointment for an oil change at the local shop.

Another day off for The Thought for the Day, so we pulled one from last year from J.C. Watts, a former Oklahoma Congressman who sports fans will remember as a quarterback for the Oklahoma Sooners. We were listening to Watts speak at the GOP convention in San Diego in 1996 and Watt’s quote is about the American dream.

The first rewrite of Criminals, Courtesans and Constables is in progress and boy, there have been some changes, including a couple of ‘what was I thinking’ instances. This is why you do rewrites, so you can put down what you meant to say, as opposed to what you actually did say the first time around. The love-in that is finishing the first draft is nothing more than a pleasant memory and it is time to get to work.

On This Date:
In 1215 – King John of England affixes his seal to the Magna Carta, a peace treaty with assorted barons who had gotten their shorts in a knot over his reign. The treaty guaranteed, among other things, church freedoms, freedom from illegal imprisonment and limits on payments to the crown. Though the Magna Carta would lose some of its practical significance over the years, it did have a profound influence on the United States Constitution.

In 1938 – Johnny Vander Meer of the Cincinnati Reds becomes the only major league pitcher to pitch consecutive no-hitters, defeating the Brooklyn Dodgers 6-0. On June 11, he had no-hit the Boston Braves. His hitless innings streak would last through the third inning of his next start, and his 21 consecutive hitless innings are still the National League record.

In 1968 – Simon and Garfunkel retain the #1 spot on Billboard’s Hot 100 for the third and final week with Mrs. Robinson. It would be their second of three #1’s (Sound of Silence; Bridge Over Troubled Water) and would win Grammy Awards for Record of the Year and Best Contemporary Pop Performance – Vocal Duo or Group.

Have a good day, and thanks for reading.
Gaylon

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The Diary of a Nobody – Thu 6/14/2018

Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…

Thursday, June 14
Ended up pretty busy – relatively speaking, of course – considering I didn’t really have anything planned for today.

I had lunch with Tim from the Sons of the Legion squadron today…The Sons is part of the Legion and membership is reserved for men who are descendants of either Legion members or someone who died in battle…My membership is thru both Grandpa Sparrow and Pa Sparrow, who served during Wars I and II…Regular readers of this crap may – or they may not – remember that I was appointed Squadron Commander a couple of months…Tim was appointed adjutant recently, too…No one is entirely sure whom we replaced.
Read More of the Diary Here

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Daily Report – Thursday, June 14, 2018

After a disjointed week, Sparrow is pleased to start a long period where he doesn’t have to clock in anywhere on today’s edition of The Diary of a Nobody…After the usual stuff around the house, he offers some remote IT help for the hotel and even manages to squeeze in lunch at the Mexican joint in the next county.

The Thought for the Day didn’t run one or two years ago today, so we offer one from November of last year, from Benjamin Franklin, one of the more useful people our species has produced. Mr Franklin talks about putting the talents you were born with to work, a common theme at this feature because what else are we supposed to do with our lives?

On This Date:
In 1959 – The first daily operating monorail in the Western Hemisphere opens at Disneyland. Despite its utility, the monorail has never really caught on in the United States, mainly used at airports and amusement parks, though they are common in other parts of the world, particularly Japan.

In 1966 – The longest game in professional baseball to date is played in the Florida State Leauge when the Miami Marlins defeat the St Petersburg Cardinals 4-3 in 29 innings. The record would stand until a two-day, 33 inning International League game in 1981, and it remains the longest uninterrupted game in the history of professional baseball.

In 1980 – Funkytown by Lipps Inc remains at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 for the third of four weeks. While Lipps Inc was not a true one hit wonder – their previous single peaked at #64, and they would have hits on the Dance and Soul charts, and in other countries – Funkytown would remain their only US Top 40 hit.

Enjoy,
Gaylon

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The Diary of a Nobody – Wed 6/13/18

Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…

Wednesday, June 13
Today was Day 1 of what ol’ Sparrow is currently passing off as a three-dayer…I got off work at Hotel B at 0700 and I do not clock in anywhere until 1800 Friday at the retailer…It’s actually only one calendar day off, of course, but it is 59 hours between shifts and you must take these things when you can get them.
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Daily Report – Wednesday, June 13, 2018

Between funerals and installation ceremonies Sparrow hasn’t really been racking up the sleep numbers he’s used to, but that doesn’t stop him from watering the plants and the grass, not to mention taking the trash to the curb in today’s edition of The Diary of a Nobody.

One year ago in The Thought for the Day we quote the Bible, James 1:4, where the author, who may or may not have been James, talks about perseverance. Whether you regard the Bible as the sacred word of God or History’s bestest selling novel, there are nuggets in there for anyone to enjoy and this is one of our favorites.

We finally finished the first draft of our exciting new novel Criminals, Courtesans and Constables. We’ve been chronicling its progress here and we certainly farted around long enough completing the last chapter. There was a reason for this: on the one hand, you start writing a novel so you can finish it but, boy, you grow really close to your characters and you don’t really want to finish it. You want the first draft to linger.

You can’t linger forever, though. Up next: an immediate rewrite of the sacred first draft before putting it away for a few weeks, before the next round of rewrites begins.

On This Date:
In 1966 – The United States Supreme Court issues one of its landmark rulings in Miranda vs. Arizona, ruling that defendants in custody must be advised of certain rights, including the right to remain silent and the right to counsel. The decision overturned one Ernesto Miranda’s conviction on assorted charges.

Miranda would later be retried and convicted on the same charges and sentenced to a lengthy prison term. He was paroled in 1972 and was stabbed to death in a bar fight in Phoenix in 1976.

In 2002 – The Detroit Red Wings win their tenth Stanley Cup, defeating the Carolina Hurricanes 3-1 in Game 5. The Red Wings would win their 11th Stanley Cup in 2008, good for third on the all-time list behind Montreal (24) and Toronto (13).

In 1970 – Four months after their breakup was announced, the Beatles final #1 song The Long and Winding Road, reaches the top of Billboard’s Hot 100. It is the Beatles 20th #1 song, a record that still stands. It would remain at #1 for two weeks and the B side, For You Blue, also received airplay and is listed with The Long and Winding Road. 

Thank you for reading, and have a reasonably good day.
Gaylon

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