The Daily Dose/Wednesday, July 31, 2019

The Daily Dose/July 31, 2019
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around our human experience…

USA! USA! The best part of the upcoming election is all of us have been nicely fitted into one of two slots: we are either racists or we are socialists. There is no middle ground. 231 years after our first presidential election the Great American Experiment has been reduced to the basest level of partisan squabbling and bickering though it should be noted these have been features of every presidential election that has not had George Washington on the ballot.

Hold On To Your Hats: The Republicans are led by a lying, racist, sexual predator who believes the moon is part of Mars, a president who so fans racism’s flames he has grand wizards from Charleston to Biloxi achieving states of arousal not seen in decades. For their part, the Democrats are led by no one in particular at a time when they desperately need someone taking charge. Every one of the 532 candidates for their presidential nomination is promising us something free, be it medical care or college. 

FunFact: No one in either party, at least no one anyone is listening to, is talking about ending our non-stop wars or our mindless spending.

Dry, Technical, Matter: Friends, we can’t sustain this forever. Write this down:

A divided America, perpetually at war and mindlessly in debt, will eventually collapse, tossed aside the scrap heap of history, perhaps before this half-century out. 

Get Your Official Daily Dose Policy Right Here: There is only one question in 2020: Will America continue to tolerate the substandard government offered by the status quo, or will America demand a change? Will America continue to tolerate a status quo that only offers us partisan, fractured and bickering government, or will America demand better?

More Official Daily Dose Policy: We deserve better than what our government is giving us now. We deserve an America at peace with the world and herself. We deserve an America that both Americans and the world can be proud of again. 

To continue to tolerate the status quo merely drives another nail into the American coffin.

We cannot continue this insanity with impunity. Eventually, it will destroy our country.

It’s time for you and me – we the people – to become the status quo again. 

Today At The Site
The Diary of a NobodySparrow talks Spanish to a guy who’s talking to him in German. Today’s Diary. 

About 0630 a man comes up holding his phone and immediately starts speaking German as if we’re in Dusseldorf and not America…I don’t speak German…Not only that, even tho a quarter of my blood is German I don’t particularly look like I speak Geman, either and I have some zero clue why he thought I would speak German but here he is babbling away and holding his phone out…At first I thought he had a translation waiting for me, but it was the log-in page for our WiFi, and it was a simple matter to get him connected, even with his German-speaking phone…What is really funny is that at assorted points during this evolution I started speaking Spanish to him!!!…I am not making that up…I don’t know why that was…I mean, he looked like he spoke as much Spanish as Hitler but I suppose it was instinct, sort of like when you find yourself shouting to someone who’s blind. 

It’s Sparrow, an average man passing an average life.

More drivel! Click on the button to read all of The Diary of a Nobody. $5.99 includes all entries, past, present, and future:

On This Date
 In 1971 – Man drives on another heavenly body for the first time, when Dave Scott, commander of Apollo 15, drives a battery-powered vehicle on the moon. The rovers could carry both astronauts, plus equipment and samples, though their range was limited to a distance that would allow astronauts to walk back to the lunar module. The rovers had a top speed of 11 mph and all three were left behind on the moon.

In 1897 – John Grimes of the St Louis Browns ties the major league record by hitting six batters in an 11-6 loss to the Louisville Colonels in the first game of a doubleheader. It was the second of his three major league appearances for Grimes, whose final game came on August 2, a 9-5 loss to the Chicago Colts, now known as the Cubs. Though History is not entirely clear on the matter, Grimes, 28 at the time, might well have been on leave from what would turn out to be a 30-year career in the US Army, where he retired as a captain after seeing action in both the Spanish-American and First World wars. Grimes tied the record established by Ed Knouff of the Baltimore Orioles of the American Association in 1887. – Editor’s note: this entry was amended after original publication to reflect the following: Grimes tied and did not establish the record; it was the first game of a doubleheader, which we knew but forgot to put in; Ed Knouff established the original record. 

In 1971 – Jean Knight is at #1 on Billboard’s soul chart – then known as the Best Selling Soul Singles chart – for the fifth and final week with Mr. Big Stuff. The song also peaked at #2 on Billboard’s Hot 100 and remains Knight’s biggest hit on both charts. Knight had begun singing in the mid-60s, but disappointed at her lack of success, actually quit and took a job as a baker in the cafeteria of a New Orleans university before landing a record deal.

Marriage, the last refuge of men unable to fend for themselves. 
Garrison Keillor
Leaving Home

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Felix Hernandez went 9-2 during his record 16-game streak of pitching at least 7 innings and giving up two runs or less. He finished the season at 15-6.

Today’s Stumper
What other song spent five weeks at #1 on Billboard’s soul chart in 1971? – Answer next time!

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