The Daily Dose/May 27, 2024
By Gaylon Kent – America’s Funniest Guy™

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience. 

Leading Off will return. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow meets a loser. Today’s Diary. 

Honestly, we wouldn’t have taken the reservation…This was our last vacancy and W had a waiting list for it, people who actually had IDs nd credit cards, and we would’ve told the guy to get lost…

———

Would you like 4Ever & Ever access to Gaylon’s crap?
Of course you would.
Click here. It’s only $24.99.

Click here for complimentary chapters of all of Gaylon’s books.
It’s easy reading on any device. 

———

On This Date
Extra, extra, read all about it. 

In 1153 – Malcolm IV, 12, becomes King of Scotland following the death of his grandfather David I. Malcolm had become heir apparent the previous year when his dad Henry had died, and History generally gives him indifferent marks…While the heir apparent, Malcolm had contenders for the throne and he was crowned before his brother was buried. Malcolm, always sickly, would only reign until 1165, dying of apparently natural causes when he was 24. He was succeeded by his brother William I. 

In 1975 – The Philadelphia Flyers win the Stanley Cup, defeating the Buffalo Sabres 2-0 in Game 6 in Buffalo. It was the second consecutive and final Stanley Cup for the Flyers and was the second of three losses in the Finals for the Sabres. It was the first Stanley Cup Finals to have two expansion teams playing and the Flyers remain the last Stanley Cup champion with an all-Canadian roster. 

In 1989 – Madonna is at #1 on the Billboard 200 album chart for the sixth and final consecutive week with Like a Prayer. The album went to #1 in 19 other countries including Argentina, Norway, and Great Britain, and was Billboard’s 12th-biggest album of 1989 and its 94th-biggest of 1990. It was the third of nine #1 albums for Madonna and produced five chart singles, including the #1 title track. 

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.

We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.
Albert Einstein

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.

The third member of Apollo 10 – along with Thomas Stafford and Gene Cernan – was John Young. 

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.

What was Madonna’s first #1 album in the US? – Answer next time!

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The Daily Dose/May 26, 2024
By Gaylon Kent – America’s Funniest Guy™

The Sunday Bottom 5
A ranking of some things.

1. War – Man’s calling card since time immemorial has another stellar week, with Israel’s genocide in Gaza continuing while the plucky Ukranians continue to hold out against evil Russians…US heroically doing its part, too, currently directly involved in wars in Yemen, the Red Sea, Syria, and Somalia, despite Congress not having declared any of these wars. 

2. Post Malone – American singer currently atop Billboard pop and country charts (with Morgan Wallen) and with four prior soul chart #1s is now fifth act to have #1s on Billboard’s Hot 100, soul, and country charts…Elvis, the Everly Brothers, Ray Charles, and Billy Ray Cyrus are the others. 

3. Mass Shootings – The 3-hole staple…13 mass shootings – defined as incidents with four (4) or  more casualties – for the week, including 16 deaths – including one (1) perp – and an impressive 53 wounded…2.14/per day an excellent average for the week, though 2024s weekly average of 1.19 well below 2023 average of 1.8 mass shootings a day.  

4. Voyager 1 – Mankind’s most distant ambassador (15 billion miles) is back earning its keep after parts of it went tits up (an old, appropriate Navy phrase) for a while…More useful at 46 years old than most of us, two (2) instruments are back up and running and sending useful data back to Earth, though two (2) more remain on the Out Of Order list. 

5. NCAA – Even the last, tenuous shreds of amatuerism gone now, as conferences and schools OK lawsuit settlement that is estimated to funnel $20 million a year per major division school to athletes…Sunday Bottom 5 pollsters “pretty sure” NCAA will screw this up, too, just like they screw everything else up – except the postseason tournaments they do really well. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

Yay for Read Free Sunday (RFS) at The Diary. 

The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow has the latest on the cat. Today’s Diary. 

Yay for the fact she is no longer going to the litter box every five minutes…Boo for her still having the trots, but one step at a time…There are still several days left on her treatment program…

———

Would you like 4Ever & Ever access to Gaylon’s crap?
Of course you would.
Click here. It’s only $24.99.

Click here for complimentary chapters of all of Gaylon’s books.
It’s easy reading on any device. 

———

On This Date
Extra, extra, read all about it. 

In 1969 – Apollo 10 returns to Earth, splashing down in the South Pacific Ocean between American Samoa and French Polynesia. The mission was a dress rehearsal for Apollo 11, doing everything but landing on the moon, with Thomas Stafford and Gene Cernan flying the lunar module to within 8.4 miles of the lunar surface. The mission set two records that still stand: the fastest humans have flown (24,791 mph) and the farthest humans have flown from Earth (220,820 miles).

In 1958 – Harvey Haddix of the Pittsburgh Pirates establishes a major league for the most consecutive batters retired in a game in a 1-0 loss to the Milwaukee Braves. Haddix retired the first 36 batters he faced – 12 perfect innings – breaking the record of 27 done in six previous perfect games and the record still stands. The Braves won the game in the 14th inning on an error, a sacrifice, an intentional walk, and a double. 

In 1962 – Mr Acker Bilk is at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 for the only week with Stranger on the Shore. It was the first of four chart singles for Bilk and remains his only Top 40 hit. The song also went to #1 in Great Britain, and while the song only spent one week at the top in the US, it spent four weeks at #2 and eleven weeks in the Top 10 and was Billboard’s #1 song of the year. It was the first song by a British act to hit #1 on the Hot 100. 

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.

Order is the mother civilization and liberty; chaos the midwife of dictatorship.
Will Durant
The Story of Civilization, Vol VI: The Reformation

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.

The farthest back a winner of the Indianapolis 500 has started is 32nd, by Ray Harroun in 1911. 

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.

Who was the third member of Apollo 10? – Answer next time!

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The Daily Dose/May 25, 2024
By Gaylon Kent – America’s Funniest Guy™

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience. 

QUOTE THAT SUCKER: The inspiration for this segment came from today’s Some Philosophy Crap quote. It’s from Randy Shilts’s book And The Band Played On, which chronicles the AIDS epidemic in the 1980s. 

Insanity triumphed because sane people were silent.

Back To The Future: This is happening in America right now. We are in the ninth year of Donald Trump’s prominence, a man of no intellectual, political, or moral substance. He is about to be nominated for president for the third time because his followers prefer to lower themselves to his standard than demand better of their candidates and themselves. 

Fly In The Ointment: Sane people are taking this, too. Very few are willing to call Trump – who believes, among other things, that the moon is part of Mars and that Colorado borders Mexico – the idiot he is. His claims the 2020 election was stolen is given credence instead of being dismissed, as are his claims that his 91 criminal indictments are a government plot. 

FunFact: Trump, honestly, is so witless he shouldn’t even have made the primaries in 2016. A real media would’ve dismissed him out of hand, but Trump meant ratings and clicks, so they ushered him right into the primaries, the nomination, and the White House. A media paced by Walter Cronkite and Woodward and Bernstein – not to mention any one of a dozen or so journalists of the era – would’ve had Trump out of the race by the weekend. 

The Bottom Line: We are reaping what we have sowed. America is in her seventh decade of TV being the focal point of our American life and the prominence of a witless blatherskite like Trump is our reward. But we’re in a post-thought America now, preferring to be well-entertained and well-fed rather than give substantive thought to substantive issues. As a result, we were unable to produce a competent response to COVID and we haven’t done anything great since we left the moon in 1972. A hundred years from now all new people will look back at this time and wonder why sane people didn’t demand better. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow has the latest from the kitchen. Today’s Diary. 

Our new pancake mix canister was clutch, too…We were able to stick the measuring cup directly into the canister and remove it without getting pancake mix all over the place…

———

Would you like 4Ever & Ever access to Gaylon’s crap?
Of course you would.
Click here. It’s only $24.99.

Click here for complimentary chapters of all of Gaylon’s books.
It’s easy reading on any device. 

———

On This Date
Extra, extra, read all about it. 

In 1659 – Richard Cromwell resigns as Lord Protector of England, marking the beginning of the end of England’s most recent period of being governed as a republic. England had been a Commonwealth since the execution of King Charles I in 1649 when Richard’s father Oliver became Lord Protector and would become a monarchy again under Charles II the following year. 

In 1980 – Johnny Rutherford wins the Indianapolis 500, defeating Tom Sneva by 29.29 seconds. It was the third and final win the race for Rutherford and was the third 2nd-place finish in four years for Sneva, who would win his only Indianapolis 500 in 1983. Sneva had qualified 14th, but crashed that car in practice, started last with his backup car, and became the first driver starting last to both lead the race and finish second.  

Today – Post Malone and Morgan Wallen are at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 and Hot Country Songs chart for the first week with I Had Some Help. It is the second time Wallen has simultaneously had the #1 pop and country song in the US (Last Night, multiple weeks, 2023) and Malone, who has had four #1s on Billboard’s soul chart, joins Elvis Presley, the Everly Brothers, Ray Charles, and Billy Ray Cyrus as the only acts to have #1s on all three major Billboard singles charts. 

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.

Insanity triumphed because sane people were silent.
Randy Shilts

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.

The Cleveland Blues began play as the Columbus Buckeyes in the Western League in 1896. 

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.

What is the farthest back in the starting grid an Indy 500 winner has started? – Answer next time!

Share Gaylon! Go!

Everything will return.

Click here to read today’s entry in The Diary of a Nobody.

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The Daily Dose/May 22, 2024
By Gaylon Kent – America’s Funniest Guy™

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience. 

CAN WE CALL A SPADE A SPADE, PLEASE?: It’s said the first casualty of war is the truth. True enough probably, and it certainly doesn’t make many appearances once a war is in full swing, either. Witness a statement this week by President Joe Biden, speaking at a Jewish American Heritage Month event at the White House. 

What’s happening in Gaza is not genocide. We reject that. 

Liar, Liar, Pants On Fire: Oh, good gravy. And we thought Donald Trump lies. 

Fly In The Ointment: Of course, it’s genocide. It is certainly no longer war. War is combat fought to gain a military, political, or tactical advantage and defeat an enemy. That is no longer happening in Gaza, where Israel has been naming the score almost since the start. If this were a sporting event, a mercy rule would’ve been invoked ages ago. 

Dry, Technical Matter: Our biggest dictionary defines genocide as:

The deliberate killing of a large number of people from a particular nation or ethnic group with the aim of destroying that nation or group. 

I’ll Take Genocide For $500, Alex: This is what is happening now in Gaza. Israel long ago established their military superiority. Now they only want to kill and starve as many Palestinians as possible. This is genocide. 

Don’t Even Start: This is not an endorsement of Hamas, it is merely an indictment of current Israeli strategy. Their October invasion of Israel was itself an atrocity. It was also stupid because they had to have known Israel would establish superiority in fairly short order. 

The Bottom Line: It is possible to criticize Israel and still support them. And we understand that History is littered with attempts to destroy the Jews. For whatever reason, they have been rubbing people the wrong way since the Iron Age. So Hamas should’ve expected what they got. War is war, after all. But Israel has made their point. Their continuing slaughter of civilians constitutes a crime against all of us.  

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow reinvests in the lottery. Today’s Diary. 

We could no longer bear the thought of our lucky numbers – which any idiot knows are due – coming in and us not being in the game…

———

Would you like 4Ever & Ever access to Gaylon’s crap?
Of course you would.
Click here. It’s only $24.99.

Click here for complimentary chapters of all of Gaylon’s books.
It’s easy reading on any device. 

———

On This Date
Extra, extra, read all about it. 

In 1934 – Bonnie Parker, 23, and Clyde Barrow, 25 – bank robbers known to History as Bonnie and Clyde – are shot to death following an ambush in northern Louisiana. Barrow had broken out of prison in January and the pair and had numerous warrants for their arrest outstanding. They had been tracked, rather brilliantly, by a posse led by former Texas Ranger Frank Hamer, who opened fire on their moving vehicle. Both Bonnie and Clyde believed a violent death to be inevitable. 

In 1901 – The Cleveland Blues establish the major league record for the largest deficit overcome with two outs in the 9th inning in a 14-13 win over the Washington Senators. The Blues – now the Cleveland Guardians – scored nine runs with two outs, research into whose record they broke was inconclusive, and the record still stands. The Blues got eight hits, a walk, a hit batter, and a passed ball in the comeback. The all-time record for the largest deficit overcome is twelve runs, done three times. 

In 1981 – Rosanne Cash is at #1 on Billboard’s country chart – then known as the Hot Country Singles chart – for the only week with Seven Year Ache. It was the fourth of 20 consecutive country hits for Cash, her first of 14 Top 10 hits, and her first of ten #1s. The song also went Top 10 country in Canada and peaked at #22 on the Hot 100. The song was written by Cash and produced by Rodney Crowell. 

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.

Rules are not made for geniuses.
Will Durant

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.

Stevie Wonder’s first #1 song was Fingertips, Part II which spent three weeks at #1 on the Hot 100 and six weeks at #1 on the soul chart in 1963. It was also the first live #1 song of the Rock Era. 

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.

The Cleveland Blues franchise began play in 1894 in the Western League. What city did they play in? – Answer next time!

Share Gaylon! Go!