The Diary of a Nobody/May 25

Sure, why not? It’s Read Free Sunday at The Diary.

It’s Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…

Saturday, May 25
Boy, the Assistant Front Desk Manager (AFDM) was flustered tonite…Now, this isn’t a bulletin…Anytime the AFDM has to check in more than a handful of people, matters get tense…But he had reason to complain today because we were shorthanded, especially for the first day of a holiday weekend.

First, Kylie left at 1900, more or less her scheduled time, but that left the AFDM with 30 arrivals still to come and three hours until ol’ Sparrow showed up…Not only that, maintenance left at 1900 and the houseman left at 2000, so there was no one to help out with requests, like towels and blankets and whatnot. 

Fate being what it is, half of those 30 arrivals showed up one right after another almost the instant Kylie left, and 26 of them showed up altogether…One guest came to the front desk to whine about why she had to wait so long for whatever she had requested, with the AFDM obliged to inform her he hadn’t been able to leave the front desk yet.  

The AFDM didn’t weep, but he was flustered enough that we started processing registration cards out front so he wouldn’t have abandonment issues…As usual, once the AFDM left and ol’ Sparrow assumed command, calm prevailed. There were a couple of check-ins, but it was a low-key night. 

One of the check-ins reinforced a Sparrow ProTip we’ve mentioned from time to time: always book with the hotel…Tonite a guest checked into the king room that was on his reservation…A bit later he was back in front of me saying he had reserved a room with two queen beds. 

You don’t argue here…You didn’t, because had you, your room would’ve had two queen beds…We noted he had booked online and this surprised him because he thought he had called the hotel…What happened was his search for our hotel had yielded results that included a CALL NOW button, which he pressed and ended up talking to on the phone…He thought he was talking to us and was even surprised his stay had been paid in advance…That was all the company cared about, really: book a room, make sure the credit card approves and get the next line on the hook…Fortunately, while business this weekend is good, we weren’t sold out, and it was a simple matter to put him in a room with two queens. 

Then some windbag dolt called, taking five minutes to yap about what could’ve been taken care of in two…He and his mom were coming Monday for a few nites…They had hoped to get away for the long weekend, but it didn’t work out…They had last gotten away in February and before that Thanksgiving and maybe they’d make another trip before Labor Day…Good gravy, shoot me now…I interrupted – to ward off stroke – asking him how I might best be of service, because even after a full minute that wasn’t entirely clear…He wanted to know what the weather was going to be next week…This led to more time I will never get back:

Well, let’s check weather dot come…
Even tho he was entitled to snark, he got graciousness, instead.
So weather dot come is what you guys use out there???
Jesus, this was a real question.
Well, this is the one I have off the top of my head…There are others.
We did some checking.
– OK, we’re showing highs in the 60s and lows in the 30s.
Then this wizard wanted to know if jackets would be necessary in the daytime…Good gravy, a Milquetoast of the Year nominee…No wonder he travels with his mother; she was probably there, prompting him.
Well, sir, that depends you your opinion of highs in the 60s. 

There are mixed results on the cat’s health…Yay for the fact she is no longer going to the litter box every five minutes…Boo for her still having the trots, but one step at a time…There are still several days left on her treatment program…There do not appear to be any side effects and there is every reason to believe her trots will clear up soon enuff. 

The big news at the gym this evening is that we again increased weight, this time on the z-bar bicep curls…Recall that last time, we had 30 lbs on each side—not too bad for an old guy—and today we added 2.5 lbs on each side, for a total increase of 5 lbs…In fact, we not only moved it ten times on the last set, but we moved it eleven times, so we’ll put 5 lbs on each side next time. ..Now, it’s important to note that this is the first exercise we do, so weights on hammer curls and concentration curls are not what they’ve usually been. 

Sparrow’s Sleep Log: 1000 Saturday until 1800 Saturday…8.0 hours for the day – good, but we were expecting more – and a solid 51.0 hours for the week…God bless all of you.  


The Diary of a Nobody is a novel. All elements are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Anything else is a coincidence. 

The Diary of a Nobody was inspired by the 19th-century British novel of the same name. 

Coming soon! Gaylon’s books in actual book form!



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