The Daily Dose/March 19, 2022
By Gaylon Kent – America’s Funniest Guy™

The Sunday Bottom 5
A ranking of some things.

1. World Leader Criminal Charges – Donald Trump expects to be arrested while Russian leader Vladimir Putin is charged with war crimes by International Criminal Court…Trump produces expected blather about taking our country back, which we’re trying do, back from his ignorance, lies, and incompetence…Sunday Bottom 5 pollsters “strongly suspect” Putin is unlikely to extradite himself, though warrant does cut down on foreign vacation options. 

2. Bank Failures – Sunday Bottom 5 pollsters hardly smart enough to figure out if recent US bank failures isolated incidents where customers needed money, obliging bank to sell securities that had lost value or whether it heralds an imminent collapse, but remain “pretty sure” we’re going to be OK. 

3. USA! USA! – The current 3-hole staple…American Century long gone and country will be, too, as US still far closer to the oblivion that awaits it than the prosperity, influence it once had because no nation can survive perpetual war, deep social divides, and an utter lack of national vision forever…Sunday Bottom 5 pollsters “strongly suspect” America has until half-century is out to show it can govern itself before someone comes in and does it for us.     

4. March Madness – Good gravy, upsets galore ensure only people still possessing perfect brackets are a couple of Farleigh-Dickinson undergraduates who were stoned when they made their picks and a secretary in Reno who always picks by top secret formula color of uniforms and cuteness of mascots.

5. King Charles III – While not something the palace is trumpeting, younger folks in Commonwealth countries not entirely thrilled with monarchy, with 44% of Canadians and 39% of Australians – both technically under Charles’ rule – favoring their countries becoming republics…Sunday Bottom Sports Book currently has it at 50/50 that Prince William has a throne to inherit. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

Sure, Read Free Sunday (RFS) is a thing today.

The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow has no takers for his $350 hotel room. Today’s Diary. 

They were both guys and I don’t know if they were at a bar doing an immediate cost/benefit analysis (CBA) for a suitably drunk chick or if they simply didn’t want to spend the money…

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On This Date
Extra, extra, read all about it.  

In 1931 – Nevada legalizes gambling for the second time. Gambling had a long, somewhat legal history in Nevada, as miners brought assorted games of chance with them and the state first decriminalized some forms of gambling in 1869, though it was criminalized in 1909. The Bank Club in Reno opens the following day and the first gaming license was issued Mayme Stocker for the Northern Club on Fremont Street. 

In 1950 – Babe Zaharias wins the first women’s golf major of the year, winning the Titleholder’s Championship with a final round 75 to defeat Claire Doran by eight strokes. It was the second of three Titleholder’s Championship titles for Zaharias and her sixth of nine major titles…Later in the year, Zaharias won the Western Open and the US Open to become the first woman to win all major golf titles in one calendar year. 

In 1977 – Natalie Cole is at #1 on Billboard’s soul chart – then known as the Hot Soul Singles chart – for the fourth of five consecutive weeks with I’ve Got Love on My Mind. It was the fifth of 32 soul hits for Cole, her fifth of 17 Top 10 hits, and was her fourth of six #1s. The song later peaked at #5 on the Hot 100 which, along with Pink Cadillac, remain her biggest pop hits.  

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.

Mere longevity is a good thing for those who watch life from the sidelines. For those who play the game, an hour may be a year, a single day’s work an achievement for an eternity.
Gabriel Heatter

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.

The NBA record for most free throws in a season is 840, done by Jerry West of the Los Angeles Lakers in 1965-66. 

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.

What was Billboard’s biggest soul song of 1977? – Answer next time!

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The Daily Dose/March 18, 2022
By Gaylon Kent – America’s Funniest Guy™

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience. 

Leading Off will return.

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow travels to the next county. Today’s Diary. 

The big news is we got to our fave Mexican joint today for the first time in a while…Recall we’re going thru a spell where we are not eating either processed sugar or flour, so tortillas are out HOWEVER nothing inside our fave burritos is on the Index of Prohibited Foods, tho perhaps the quantity we consumed today wasn’t in the spirit of weight loss and overall general good health…

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It’s easy reading on any device. 

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On This Date
Extra, extra, read all about it.  

In 1990 – The largest art theft in US history occurs, when twelve paintings estimated to be worth $500 million – plus a brass drinking vessel – are stolen from the Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum in Boston. Two thieves, posing as police officers responding to a disturbance call, were let into the museum by security who then handcuffed the guards. No arrests have been made and none of the paintings have been recovered. The empty frames remain hanging in their original locations. 

In 1959 – Bill Sharman of the Boston Celtics establishes a new NBA playoff record for most consecutive free throws made in a 131-109 win over the Syracuse Nationals – now the Philadelphia 76ers – in game one of the Eastern Division Finals. Sharman made his 56th consecutive free throw, a streak that began in the 1958 playoffs, research into whose record he broke was inconclusive, and the record still stands. The regular season record is 97, by Michael WIlliams, from March to November 1993.

Today – Morgan Wallen is at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the first week with Last Night. It’s the 26th Top 40 hit for Wallen and his first #1 song. The song is one of a Hot 100-record 36 songs Wallen has on the chart this week, breaking the record of 27, done by Drake on July 14, 2018. The song is currently in its fifth consecutive week at #1 on Billboard’s country chart, his sixth #1 country hit.

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.

Lost in the cacophony of Oprah and O.J. are those classical values that once made a Saturday afternoon track meet so appealing. Of running for the love of competition, of throwing a javelin for applause and an olive wreath. Of sweating for hours on a lonesome track at dusk for the chance of maybe one day hearing the anthem. Of honor and glory and the spirit of victory, not the spoils.
Mark Zeigler
The San Diego Union-Tribune
6/20/95

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.

The female elected head of state who served the longest is Chancellor Angela Merkel of Germany, who served 16 years, 16 days from 2005-21. 

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.

Who holds the NBA record for most free throws made in a season? – Answer next time!

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The Daily Dose/March 17, 2022
By Gaylon Kent – America’s Funniest Guy™

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience. 

Leading Off will return.

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow changes up his sprints a little. Today’s Diary. 

Rest between sets concludes when you’ve stopped hyperventilating and we were hoping to get ten lines in, but after three we realized that further lines would require EMS support and stopped…

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4Ever & Ever ($8.99) and monthly ($2.99) plans available.

Click here for complimentary chapters of all of Gaylon’s books.
It’s easy reading on any device. 

———

On This Date
Extra, extra, read all about it.  

In 1969 – Golda Meir is elected Israeli prime minister by her party’s central committee. She succeeded interim prime minister Yigal Allon and was the first female head of state in the Middle East, the fourth female elected head of state anywhere, and remains Israel’s only female prime minister. Meir was born in Kyiv, then part of the Russian Empire, served until June 1974, and died at age 80 in 1978. 

In 1988 – The Loyola Marymount Lions and the Wyoming Cowboys establish a new NCAA basketball tournament record for most points in a game in a 119-115 Loyola win in an opening-round game in Salt Lake City. The 234 points broke the mark of 216 established by UNLV and San Francisco in a 1977 second-round game and the record is now 264, by Loyola Marymount and Michigan in a second-round game in 1990. The regular season record is 331 points, when Loyola Marymount defeated US International 181-150 in January 1989. 

In 1962 – Gene Chandler is at #1 on Billboard’s soul chart – then known as the Hot R&B Singles chart – for the fifth and final consecutive week with Duke of Earl. The song originated from some vocal exercises Chandler and others in a vocal group he was in did before actually singing and the Earl refers to Earl Edwards, another member of the group.  It was the first of seven Top 10 soul hits for Chandler and remains his only soul #1. Earlier, the song had spent three weeks at #1 on the Hot 100. 

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.

Fate poses harsh questions. We answer with our lives.
Deng Ming-Dao

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.

The five current American League teams that were part of the Western League in 1894 are the Detroit Tigers, Chicago White Sox (Sious City Cornhuskers), Baltimore Orioles (Milwaukee Brewers), Cleveland Guardians (Grand Rapids Rippers), and the Minnesota Twins (Kansas City Blues). 

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.

Who is the longest-serving elected female head of state in history? – Answer next time!

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The Daily Dose/March 16, 2022
By Gaylon Kent – America’s Funniest Guy™

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience. 

HUT, HUT, HIKE…SORT OF: Longtime reader(s) of the crap may well remember when this feature chronicled the fortunes of the University of Mount Union Purple Raiders football team. They play in the NCAA’s Division III and have been a power since 1993 when they won their first of a record 13 NCAA football championships. (Their last was in 2017, though they’ve played in two championship games since then.)

Dry, Technical Matter: In recent seasons they’ve developed a nice little rivalry with Wisconsin-Whitewater, affectionately known here through the years as UW-Wherever.  Mount Union and UW-Wherever have played in nine D-III football title games – the Amos Alonzo-Stagg Bowl – with the Wherevers holding a distressing 6-3 advantage. 

You Can Throw The Records Out…: Tonight in Fort Wayne, Indiana they meet for the first time in the D-III basketball playoffs, in a national semifinal game, just their second meeting ever on the court. It’s Mount Union’s first basketball Final Four appearance, while UW-Wherever has won four national championships, the last in 2014. The winner plays the winner of Swarthmore/Christopher Newport winner Saturday for the national title. 

FunFact(s): The NCAA has been conducting a D-III men’s basketball tournament since 1975, when LeMoyne-Owen won the first title, defeating Rowan 57-54 in the championship game. North Park University of Chicago has won the most titles, five, and the first D-III women’s tournament was held in 1982. 

Oh, Jesus H.: Before separating into three divisions, the NCAA was divided into University and College divisions. 

The Bottom Line: The NCAA has a lot to answer for, but their running of small college sports isn’t one of them. Every D-III tournament – from football to rowing – features genuine college students paying their own way, playing to learn the lessons their sport has to offer and to impress the opposite – or, perhaps, the same – sex. There probably won’t be too much action above the rim tonight, but it will be some fine, fundamentally sound basketball. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody – At the VSO, Sparrow cordially replies to an email. Today’s Diary. 

So we wrote back and actually apologized for not having produced sufficient applicants, a direct byproduct of 13 years of Lutheran schooling…We also pledged to keep the posting up on the website and to keep an eye out for good candidates and managing to make both sound like Herculean efforts… 

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Click here for complimentary chapters of all of Gaylon’s books.
It’s easy reading on any device. 

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On This Date
Extra, extra, read all about it.  

Editor’s Note: Due to time constraints, these items originally ran in 2019. 

In 1916 – The United States Army invades Mexico when both the 7th and 10th cavalry regiments cross the border in search of Mexican revolutionary Panch Villa. Despite searching for most of the next year, the search was unsuccessful and the expedition marked the first time the US Army used aircraft and trucks in an operation.

In 1900 – Owners of teams in the Western League, meeting in Chicago, announce they are changing their name to the American League in an effort to attain major league status. The American League would have eight teams in 1900, with Chicago winning the pennant by four games over Milwaukee. The new league would not be recognized as a major league until the following year.

In 1963 – The Four Seasons are at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the third and final week with Walk Like a Man. It was the third of five #1 songs for the group, following Sherry and Big Girls Don’t Cry. The song was written by Bob Crewe and Four Seasons member Bob Gaudio and the production session is noted for a fire in a room above the studio, with Crew not breaking up the session until he was pulled out of the studio by firefighter. 

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.

Then in the morning he would lie in bed, not wanting anything…Then he would think: If I don’t get up I can’t go back to bed.
Robert Penn Warren
All The King’s Men

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.

The first Russian tsar of the Romanov dynasty was Michael of Russia, who ruled from 1613-45.

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.

Name the Five current American League teams that were part of the Western League’s first season in 1894? – Answer next time!

Share Gaylon! Go!

The Daily Dose/March 15, 2022
By Gaylon Kent – America’s Funniest Guy™

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience. 

WHAT’S A FEW DECADES AMONGST FRIENDS: Fifty-seven years after being sentenced to death, Japan’s Iwao Hakamada has been given a new trial. He had been condemned for a 1966 mass murder and it is strongly suspected some of the evidence used against him was fabricated.  

Fly In The Ointment: Hakamada eventually confessed, a confession he has long maintained was coerced. He spent 48 years on death row before a court suspended his execution in 2014 and ordered both a retrial and his release. That ruling was eventually overturned, though in 2020 Japan’s supreme court ordered the lower court to “reconsider” the ruling, which led to Monday’s order for a retrial. 

Dry, Technical Matter: Hakamada is recognized as the world’s longest-serving death row inmate. Though out of prison since 2014, his death sentence was suspended and not vacated, and he remains under sentence of death. 

More Dry, Technical Matter: The Japanese death penalty system makes the US system look downright humane, which isn’t easy to do. In Japan, you’re convicted and sentenced to death, go through some appeals, and once your conviction is upheld you are left to wait because in Japan you are not given an execution date. 

We Are Not Making This Up: On Japan’s death row, they come and get those scheduled to die in the morning. You are given some time to make a will and pray to whomever you feel will do you the most good and then you’re taken to die. Your family will be notified later. This means, of course, that you will spend decades not knowing if you are waking up for the last time. 

USA! USA! In the US, at least you’re issued a death warrant that has an actual execution date on it. This isn’t a whole lot better – and our death row conditions are as bad as theirs – but at least you wake up every morning not having to worry whether or not this is your last day.

The Bottom Line/Get Your Official Daily Dose Policy Right Here: The US, and probably everyone else, has executed innocent people, which is reason enough to shut the system down immediately and for good. To think that everyone who has made that last walk over the years was guilty is folly. It is time to end the death penalty. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow actually plays some basketball. Today’s Diary. 

…the next thing anyone knows we were playing some of the worst one-on-one hoops since Mr Naismith put up the first peach basket…It was probably similar to watching Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles go at it and after a minute or two we decided we’d be here all nite if we waited for one of us to make five baskets and the rules were modified to first basket wins.

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Click here to get in on the laughs.
4Ever & Ever ($8.99) and monthly ($2.99) plans available.

Click here for complimentary chapters of all of Gaylon’s books.
It’s easy reading on any device. 

———

On This Date
Extra, extra, read all about it.  

In 1917 – Tsar Nicholas II of Russia abdicates, after the February Revolution, which followed losses in World War I and the Russo-Japanese War. Later in the month, the royal family was placed under house arrest and the family would be executed in July 2018. Nicholas had succeeded his father Alexander III in 1894 and his abdication ended 304 years of Romanov family rule in Russia. 

In 1958 – Oscar Robertson of the Cincinnati Bearcats establishes a new NCAA tournament record for most points in a game in a 97-62 win over Arkansas in the Midwest Region’s 3rd-place game. Robertson had 56 points, breaking the record of 48 established by Hal Lear in 1956, Robertson’s record was broken by Bill Bradley of Princeton (58) in 1965 and the record is now 61, by Austin Car of Notre Dame in 1970. The NCAA discontinued regional 3rd-place games after the 1975 tournament. 

In 1980 – Willie Nelson is at #1 on Billbord’s country chart – then known as the Hot Country Singles chart – for the second and final consecutive week with My Heroes Have Always Been Cowboys. The song also went #1 country in Canada, peaked at #44 on the Hot 100, and was Billboard’s 13th-biggest country song of the year. It was the twelfth of 45 Top 10 country hits for Nelson and his sixth of 24 #1s, totals which include guest appearances and collaborations. 

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.

Goodness is the only investment that never fails.
Henry David Thoreau
Walden

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.

Bob Cousy of the Boston Celtics was the first to score 50 points in an NBA playoff game, doing so on March 21, 1953, against the Syracuse Nationals in the Eastern Division semifinals. 

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.

Who was the first Russian tsar of the Romanov dynasty? – Answer next time!

Share Gaylon! Go!