The Daily Dose/Friday, March 17, 2023

The Daily Dose/March 17, 2022
By Gaylon Kent – America’s Funniest Guy™

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience. 

Leading Off will return.

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow changes up his sprints a little. Today’s Diary. 

Rest between sets concludes when you’ve stopped hyperventilating and we were hoping to get ten lines in, but after three we realized that further lines would require EMS support and stopped…

———

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It’s easy reading on any device. 

———

On This Date
Extra, extra, read all about it.  

In 1969 – Golda Meir is elected Israeli prime minister by her party’s central committee. She succeeded interim prime minister Yigal Allon and was the first female head of state in the Middle East, the fourth female elected head of state anywhere, and remains Israel’s only female prime minister. Meir was born in Kyiv, then part of the Russian Empire, served until June 1974, and died at age 80 in 1978. 

In 1988 – The Loyola Marymount Lions and the Wyoming Cowboys establish a new NCAA basketball tournament record for most points in a game in a 119-115 Loyola win in an opening-round game in Salt Lake City. The 234 points broke the mark of 216 established by UNLV and San Francisco in a 1977 second-round game and the record is now 264, by Loyola Marymount and Michigan in a second-round game in 1990. The regular season record is 331 points, when Loyola Marymount defeated US International 181-150 in January 1989. 

In 1962 – Gene Chandler is at #1 on Billboard’s soul chart – then known as the Hot R&B Singles chart – for the fifth and final consecutive week with Duke of Earl. The song originated from some vocal exercises Chandler and others in a vocal group he was in did before actually singing and the Earl refers to Earl Edwards, another member of the group.  It was the first of seven Top 10 soul hits for Chandler and remains his only soul #1. Earlier, the song had spent three weeks at #1 on the Hot 100. 

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.

Fate poses harsh questions. We answer with our lives.
Deng Ming-Dao

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.

The five current American League teams that were part of the Western League in 1894 are the Detroit Tigers, Chicago White Sox (Sious City Cornhuskers), Baltimore Orioles (Milwaukee Brewers), Cleveland Guardians (Grand Rapids Rippers), and the Minnesota Twins (Kansas City Blues). 

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.

Who is the longest-serving elected female head of state in history? – Answer next time!

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The Diary of a Nobody/March 16

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The Daily Dose/Thursday, March 16, 2023

The Daily Dose/March 16, 2022
By Gaylon Kent – America’s Funniest Guy™

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience. 

HUT, HUT, HIKE…SORT OF: Longtime reader(s) of the crap may well remember when this feature chronicled the fortunes of the University of Mount Union Purple Raiders football team. They play in the NCAA’s Division III and have been a power since 1993 when they won their first of a record 13 NCAA football championships. (Their last was in 2017, though they’ve played in two championship games since then.)

Dry, Technical Matter: In recent seasons they’ve developed a nice little rivalry with Wisconsin-Whitewater, affectionately known here through the years as UW-Wherever.  Mount Union and UW-Wherever have played in nine D-III football title games – the Amos Alonzo-Stagg Bowl – with the Wherevers holding a distressing 6-3 advantage. 

You Can Throw The Records Out…: Tonight in Fort Wayne, Indiana they meet for the first time in the D-III basketball playoffs, in a national semifinal game, just their second meeting ever on the court. It’s Mount Union’s first basketball Final Four appearance, while UW-Wherever has won four national championships, the last in 2014. The winner plays the winner of Swarthmore/Christopher Newport winner Saturday for the national title. 

FunFact(s): The NCAA has been conducting a D-III men’s basketball tournament since 1975, when LeMoyne-Owen won the first title, defeating Rowan 57-54 in the championship game. North Park University of Chicago has won the most titles, five, and the first D-III women’s tournament was held in 1982. 

Oh, Jesus H.: Before separating into three divisions, the NCAA was divided into University and College divisions. 

The Bottom Line: The NCAA has a lot to answer for, but their running of small college sports isn’t one of them. Every D-III tournament – from football to rowing – features genuine college students paying their own way, playing to learn the lessons their sport has to offer and to impress the opposite – or, perhaps, the same – sex. There probably won’t be too much action above the rim tonight, but it will be some fine, fundamentally sound basketball. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody – At the VSO, Sparrow cordially replies to an email. Today’s Diary. 

So we wrote back and actually apologized for not having produced sufficient applicants, a direct byproduct of 13 years of Lutheran schooling…We also pledged to keep the posting up on the website and to keep an eye out for good candidates and managing to make both sound like Herculean efforts… 

———

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Click here for complimentary chapters of all of Gaylon’s books.
It’s easy reading on any device. 

———

On This Date
Extra, extra, read all about it.  

Editor’s Note: Due to time constraints, these items originally ran in 2019. 

In 1916 – The United States Army invades Mexico when both the 7th and 10th cavalry regiments cross the border in search of Mexican revolutionary Panch Villa. Despite searching for most of the next year, the search was unsuccessful and the expedition marked the first time the US Army used aircraft and trucks in an operation.

In 1900 – Owners of teams in the Western League, meeting in Chicago, announce they are changing their name to the American League in an effort to attain major league status. The American League would have eight teams in 1900, with Chicago winning the pennant by four games over Milwaukee. The new league would not be recognized as a major league until the following year.

In 1963 – The Four Seasons are at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the third and final week with Walk Like a Man. It was the third of five #1 songs for the group, following Sherry and Big Girls Don’t Cry. The song was written by Bob Crewe and Four Seasons member Bob Gaudio and the production session is noted for a fire in a room above the studio, with Crew not breaking up the session until he was pulled out of the studio by firefighter. 

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.

Then in the morning he would lie in bed, not wanting anything…Then he would think: If I don’t get up I can’t go back to bed.
Robert Penn Warren
All The King’s Men

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.

The first Russian tsar of the Romanov dynasty was Michael of Russia, who ruled from 1613-45.

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.

Name the Five current American League teams that were part of the Western League’s first season in 1894? – Answer next time!

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The Diary of a Nobody/March 15

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The Daily Dose/Wednesday, March 15, 2023

The Daily Dose/March 15, 2022
By Gaylon Kent – America’s Funniest Guy™

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience. 

WHAT’S A FEW DECADES AMONGST FRIENDS: Fifty-seven years after being sentenced to death, Japan’s Iwao Hakamada has been given a new trial. He had been condemned for a 1966 mass murder and it is strongly suspected some of the evidence used against him was fabricated.  

Fly In The Ointment: Hakamada eventually confessed, a confession he has long maintained was coerced. He spent 48 years on death row before a court suspended his execution in 2014 and ordered both a retrial and his release. That ruling was eventually overturned, though in 2020 Japan’s supreme court ordered the lower court to “reconsider” the ruling, which led to Monday’s order for a retrial. 

Dry, Technical Matter: Hakamada is recognized as the world’s longest-serving death row inmate. Though out of prison since 2014, his death sentence was suspended and not vacated, and he remains under sentence of death. 

More Dry, Technical Matter: The Japanese death penalty system makes the US system look downright humane, which isn’t easy to do. In Japan, you’re convicted and sentenced to death, go through some appeals, and once your conviction is upheld you are left to wait because in Japan you are not given an execution date. 

We Are Not Making This Up: On Japan’s death row, they come and get those scheduled to die in the morning. You are given some time to make a will and pray to whomever you feel will do you the most good and then you’re taken to die. Your family will be notified later. This means, of course, that you will spend decades not knowing if you are waking up for the last time. 

USA! USA! In the US, at least you’re issued a death warrant that has an actual execution date on it. This isn’t a whole lot better – and our death row conditions are as bad as theirs – but at least you wake up every morning not having to worry whether or not this is your last day.

The Bottom Line/Get Your Official Daily Dose Policy Right Here: The US, and probably everyone else, has executed innocent people, which is reason enough to shut the system down immediately and for good. To think that everyone who has made that last walk over the years was guilty is folly. It is time to end the death penalty. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow actually plays some basketball. Today’s Diary. 

…the next thing anyone knows we were playing some of the worst one-on-one hoops since Mr Naismith put up the first peach basket…It was probably similar to watching Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles go at it and after a minute or two we decided we’d be here all nite if we waited for one of us to make five baskets and the rules were modified to first basket wins.

———

Click here to get in on the laughs.
4Ever & Ever ($8.99) and monthly ($2.99) plans available.

Click here for complimentary chapters of all of Gaylon’s books.
It’s easy reading on any device. 

———

On This Date
Extra, extra, read all about it.  

In 1917 – Tsar Nicholas II of Russia abdicates, after the February Revolution, which followed losses in World War I and the Russo-Japanese War. Later in the month, the royal family was placed under house arrest and the family would be executed in July 2018. Nicholas had succeeded his father Alexander III in 1894 and his abdication ended 304 years of Romanov family rule in Russia. 

In 1958 – Oscar Robertson of the Cincinnati Bearcats establishes a new NCAA tournament record for most points in a game in a 97-62 win over Arkansas in the Midwest Region’s 3rd-place game. Robertson had 56 points, breaking the record of 48 established by Hal Lear in 1956, Robertson’s record was broken by Bill Bradley of Princeton (58) in 1965 and the record is now 61, by Austin Car of Notre Dame in 1970. The NCAA discontinued regional 3rd-place games after the 1975 tournament. 

In 1980 – Willie Nelson is at #1 on Billbord’s country chart – then known as the Hot Country Singles chart – for the second and final consecutive week with My Heroes Have Always Been Cowboys. The song also went #1 country in Canada, peaked at #44 on the Hot 100, and was Billboard’s 13th-biggest country song of the year. It was the twelfth of 45 Top 10 country hits for Nelson and his sixth of 24 #1s, totals which include guest appearances and collaborations. 

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.

Goodness is the only investment that never fails.
Henry David Thoreau
Walden

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.

Bob Cousy of the Boston Celtics was the first to score 50 points in an NBA playoff game, doing so on March 21, 1953, against the Syracuse Nationals in the Eastern Division semifinals. 

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.

Who was the first Russian tsar of the Romanov dynasty? – Answer next time!

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The Diary of a Nobody/March 15

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The Daily Dose/Tuesday, March 14, 2023

The Daily Dose/March 14, 2022
By Gaylon Kent – America’s Funniest Guy™

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience. 

Leading Off will return.

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow is on the phone with American Express. Today’s Diary. 

Then we noted that we’ve been members since 1978, a date that has always flummoxed me because we were 13 in 1978 and hadn’t yet established credit…

———

Click here to get in on the laughs.
4Ever & Ever ($8.99) and monthly ($2.99) plans available.

Click here for complimentary chapters of all of Gaylon’s books.
It’s easy reading on any device. 

———

On This Date
Extra, extra, read all about it.  

In 1794 – Eli Whitney is granted US patent number 72X for a short-staple cotton gin, an implement that separates cotton lint from its seeds. Whitney was obliged to spend most of his earnings on enforcing his patent against infringers in court and eventually turned to making muskets for the US Army. Each of Whitney’s cotton gins was capable of 50 pounds of cotton per day. 

In 1960 – Wilt Chamberlain of the Philadelphia Warriors establishes a new NBA record for most points in a playoff game in a 132-112 win over the Syracuse Nationals in the third and final game of the Eastern Division semifinals. Chamberlain had 53 points, breaking the record of 50 that had been done twice previously, and the record is now 63, by Michael Jordan in 1986. The Syracuse Nationals became the Philadelphia 76ers in 1963. 

In 1964 – Lefty Frizzell is at #1 on Billboard’s country chart – then known as the Hot Country Singles chart – for the second of four consecutive weeks with Saginaw, Michigan. It was the 17th and final Top 10 country hit for Frizzell and his sixth and final #1 song snf the song also peaked at #85 on the Hot 100. Later in his life Frizzell fell into alcoholism and died of a stroke, at age 44, in 1975. 

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.

Then, too, not all of them were equally alert mentally, particularly Megaffin, who had been on such a fourth-dimensional plane of unaccustomedness all evening he couldn’t tell menace from hospitality, even when a gun was mentioned.
William Irish
After Dinner Story

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.

The Billboard Hot 100 record for most Top 10 hits is 67, by Drake, beginning in 2009. Drake also holds the Hot 100 record for most Top 40 and Hot 100 hits (173, 293). 

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.

Who was the first player to score 50 points in an NBA playoff game? – Answer next time!

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The Diary of a Nobody/March 13

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The Daily Dose/Monday, March 13, 2023

The Daily Dose/March 13, 2022
By Gaylon Kent – America’s Funniest Guy™

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience. 

Leading Off will return.

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow gets into the gym, but he’s not the only one there. Today’s Diary. 

Fortunately tho, family weightlifting isn’t a thing yet, so we had the weight room to ourselves, with a tad better strength than Saturday…But it did mean sprints were out of the question unless you were desirous of bowling over some five-year-olds…

———

Click here to get in on the laughs.
4Ever & Ever ($8.99) and monthly ($2.99) plans available.

Click here for complimentary chapters of all of Gaylon’s books.
It’s easy reading on any device. 

———

On This Date
Extra, extra, read all about it.  

In 1639 – The Great and General Court of Massachusetts – then and now the Massachusetts state legislature – decrees that the college they had authorized in 1636 be called Harvard. It is named after Rev John Harvard, who had given the college his library of 400 books and half of his estate. Research into the college’s name before becoming Harvard was inconclusive, but it appears not to have been formally named. Harvard would graduate its first class in 1642, 

In 1918 – The Toronto Hockey Club – they did not have a formal nickname – wins the first NHL championship, defeating the Montreal Canadiens by outscoring them 10-7 in a two-game series. Toronto would later defeat the Seattle Millionaires of the PCHA 3 games to 2 for the Stanley Cup. Toronto was awarded the O’Brien Cup, given to the NHL champion until the NHL took possession of the Stanley Cup in 1927 and it was later awarded to the NHL’s Canadian Division champion and the playoff runner-up before being retired in 1950. 

In 1965 – The Beatles are at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 for the first of two consecutive weeks with Eight Days a Week. It was the 14th of 35 Top 10 hits for the group and was their eighth of a Hot 100-record 20 #1 songs. The song also went to #1 in Canada, Belgium, and the Netherlands, and was not released as a single in Great Britain. The song was released in the United Kingdom on the album Beatles For Sale and in the US on the Beatles VI LP. 

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.

Confucius was one of the few wise men who actually asked questions to find out what he did not know.
Gore Vidal
Creation

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.

Billboard’s #1 song of 1983 was Every Breath You Take by the Police, which spent eight weeks at #1. 

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.

What act holds the Hot 100 record for most Top 10 hits? – Answer next time!

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The Diary of a Nobody/March 12

It’s Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…

Sunday, March 12
Chris was there tonite when we reported for duty and he had the lowdown on GM Andy’s firing…We had to ask for it tho, which was easy enuff because there was an email from Chris advising me to add one David to the list of those who get our nite audit reports emailed to them. 

– Who’s David???
– He’s our new GM…

Chris said Andy was actually relieved Tuesday the 7th but recall we had actually heard about it on Friday the 3rd, from Madam Public Health Director at our usual Friday hot tub meeting because Andy had blabbed it the prior Tuesday at Rotary…Chris said Andy got two months of severance pay and already has a lead, but it’s not in town…The reason Andy was given was that he did not have the restaurant experience the new owners are looking for and Chris added David is temporary until they get until a permanent one is found. 

The big news is there appears to be a new paper clip policy at the restaurant…Usually, the pile of receipts we sort out have been clipped in whatever manner the professional servers saw fit, but someone in a position to do so – perhaps David??? – apparently promulgated something new because today all but a couple of piles had two clips on them: one on the left side and another on the bottom, which I don’t really understand at all because it’s not as if it made the Restaurant Audit (RA) a whole hell of a lot easier…The only real problem came when someone used a small paperclip to clip a sizeable bundle, something which annoys me more than it probably should. 

It became plain tonite that ol’ Sparrow’s powers of observation, in decline for years, have more or less bottomed out as he was unable to notice that the back office microwave (BOM) was back in its old place on top the refrigerator…We missed several times, too, including when we put our spinach in the freezer and it was directly in front of our face…This meant that we went to where it used to be – in the ski and snowboard storage room – and found it odd that it wasn’t there…We were walking back to the front desk ready to quit because how in the hell is a working man supposed to heat up his dinner without a microwave when we thought “no, don’t let it be back on top of the refrigerator, we’ve only been walking past it all goddamned nite”.

But that’s where it was…Had it had been a snake it would’ve bit us, as we used to say in the Navy…There was a time when we would’ve noticed a microwave on top of a refrigerator immediately, but those days are passed and now we’re not even noticing them at all. 

The big news is we were able to get into the small-town gym today…I am not making that up…We were in bed early and got a decent rest (see Sleep Log below) and we were there by 1700…The only fly in the ointment is we weren’t the only ones there; there were several families there and rugrats were running all over the basketball court…Fortunately tho, family weightlifting isn’t a thing yet, so we had the weight room to ourselves, with a tad better strength than Saturday…But it did mean sprints were out of the question unless you were desirous of bowling over some five-year-olds…Afterward, we went to the restaurant across from the post office…We were in the mood for their pretty good $20 ribeye but ended up having a Cobb salad instead. 

Sparrow’s Sleep Log: 1000 Sunday until 1600 Sunday…6.0 hours for the week, an OK start to the sleep week (SW).

———

The Diary of a Nobody is a novel. All elements are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Anything else is a coincidence.

It was inspired by the 19th-century British novel of the same name. 

Coming soon! Gaylon’s books in actual book form!

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