The Daily Dose/July 19, 2022
By Gaylon Kent – America’s Funniest Guy™

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience. 

THERE YOU GO READIN’ AGAIN: The report by an investigative committee of the Texas House of Representatives on the Uvalde school shooting is out and there are elements of it almost as sad as the tragedy itself. 

Oh, Jesus H: The first was the fact that if someone had taken charge and the police had done something, it’s likely, though not certain, that far fewer people would’ve died. But they waited. Almost 400 officers waited an hour. 

Oh Yeah: This line was also sad: 

…the report amounts to the fullest account to date of one of the worst school shootings in U.S. history. 

USA! USA! One of the worst. Not the worst, one of the worst. This is sad because this means there has been at least one other school shooting in this country where more than 19 children – plus two adults and the shooter – have been murdered.

For The Record: In fact, there have been two school shootings with higher death tolls: Sandy Hook in 2012 (28 dead) and Virginia Tech in 2007 (33 dead.).  

Dry, Technical Matter: We have mass shootings – in schools, Navy yards, doctor’s offices, you name it – for two reasons. One is because America has violent citizens and she has violent citizens because she has a violent government. Two, the weapons that can slaughter large numbers of people quickly and efficiently are not too difficult to obtain. When these two elements are removed, America will go a long way to reducing mass shootings to the point where they are actually news and not merely a noting of the location and death toll. 

The Bottom Line: A hundred years from now, when there are all new people on this planet looking back on the collapse of the US of A, they will look back and wonder why America permitted the wholesale slaughter of her citizens as we have since “going postal” worked its way into the American vernacular in the 1980s. They will wonder why we stood by and did nothing and we will not be able to provide a reason why. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow has another hotel first. Today’s Diary.

…we’ve been working hotels a long time and we’ve answered our share of noise complaints, numbers padded by working hotel security in Sin City, but mark well the date, July 18, 2022, because this was the first time we can recall fielding a noise complaint for whistling. 

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On This Date
Extra, extra, read all about it.  

In 1969 – US Senator Ted Kennedy crashes the car he is driving into a tidal pond on Chappaquiddick Island in Massachusetts, killing his passenger Mary Jo Kopechne. The two had left a party together and Kennedy later claimed he had gotten lost before his car skidded off a bridge. Kennedy swam free and says he tried to rescue Kopechne but ended up walking back to the party and eventually swimming back to his hotel. Kennedy later received a two-month suspended sentence for leaving the scene of the accident. 

In 1920 – Babe Ruth of the New York Yankees establishes a new major league record for most home runs in a season in an 8-5 loss to the Chicago White Sox. Ruth had two home runs, giving him 31 on the year and his fourth-inning home run off of Dickie Kerr broke the record of 29 he had established last year. Ruth would finish the season with 54 home runs, would hit 59 the following season and 60 in 1927, a mark that stood until Roger Maris hit 61 in 1961 and the record is now 73, done by Barry Bonds in 2001. 

In 1980 – Mickey Gilley is at #1 on Billboard’s country chart – then known as the Hot Country Singles chart – for the only week with True Love Ways. It was his 17th of 35 Top 10 hits for Gilley and his eighth of 17 and first of six consecutive #1s. The song also went #1 country in Canada, peaked at #66 on the Hot 100, and in 1965 a version by Peter and Gordon peaked at #14 on the Hot 100 and at #2 in Great Britain. Gilley died this past May at the age of 86.

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.

I delight to come to my bearings…not to live in this restless, nervous, bustling, trivial Nineteenth Century, but stand or sit thoughtfully as it goes by.
Henry David Thoreau
Walden

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.

Genesis has not had a #1 song in their native Great Britain. Their biggest hit was Mama, which peaked at #4 in 1983. It also peaked at #73 on the Hot 100. 

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.

What pitcher gave up the most home runs to Babe Ruth? – Answer next time!

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The Daily Dose/July 18, 2022
By Gaylon Kent – America’s Funniest Guy™

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience. 

EXTRA, EXTRA, READ ALL ABOUT IT: The headline made us laugh. Well chuckle, at least: 

Biden Says He Confronted Saudi Prince Over Khashoggi.

The headline, of course, refers to Saudi involvement in the 2018 murder of journalist Jamal Khashoggi. It made us laugh because President Biden is hardly dealing from a position of power here; the Saudis did it and got away with it and no hapless US president is going to do anything about it. 

Nothing But The Truth: Let’s be honest, President Biden is in Saudi Arabia to grovel for more oil, so perhaps us Americans can pay a few cents less per gallon. The Saudis know this, of course, and all they had to do was, diplomatically, of course, tell him “so what?”

FunFact: While Biden said he blamed the Saudi crown prince – the de facto ruler of the country – for the 2018 death of journalist Jamal Khashoggi, accounts of this differ, with Saudi officials say Biden didn’t really take the crown prince to task. 

Fly In The Ointment: It doesn’t really matter. The Saudis aren’t the only ones who realize the American Century is long gone – the Chinese, the Russians, your aunt in Reno know it, too – and that America is no longer a hindrance to anyone looking to consolidate and maximize wealth and power. 

Dry, Technical Matter: The Saudis have, rather brilliantly, brazened their through the whole Khashoggi affair. They conducted show trials that were closed to outside observers and there are reports some Saudis have been convicted and sentenced in the matter, but no names have been released. Turkey has even thrown up its hands and given up hope ordering in April, almost unbelievably, that their trial be transferred to Saudi Arabia 

The Bottom Line: Could you imagine Ronald Reagan or JFK or almost any other American president visiting Saudi Arabia under these circumstances? We can’t, either. But Biden is in a box because he can’t tell us American to take our medicine because Americans – collectively fat, not to mention morally and intellectually bereft after three generations of five hours of TV every day – don’t want to take their medicine nowadays, we only want lower gas prices, dammit. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow has lunch at the small town’s new restaurant. Today’s Diary. 

our patty melt was tasty enuff, but it ran into the age-old problem of patty melts everywhere since time immemorial: the patty was not as big as the bread…This left half the sandwich with a full amount of patty, and the other half with only a couple of bites…(There’s probably be a Nobel Prize in it for the person who solves this problem.)…

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On This Date
Extra, extra, read all about it.  

In  1984 – James Huberty opens fire at a Mcdonald’s restaurant in San Ysidro, California, on the Mexican border, south of San Diego, killing 20 and injuring 19. It was the deadliest mass shooting in American history at the time, though it only ranks as the eighth now, down a notch from its last appearance in this feature three years ago. The incident began a little before 4 pm and ended at 5:17 pm when Huberty was shot by a police sniper. 

In 1891 – The longest scoreless game in the history of professional baseball is played when the Fargo Red Stockings and Grand Forks Black Stockings of the Red River Valley League play to a 25-inning, 0-0 tie in Devil’s Lake, North Dakota. Pitchers William Gibbs of Grand Forks and George Raymer of Fargo both pitched complete games, though neither got credit for a shutout because neither team won. The game took 4 hours and 10 minutes, was the second game of a doubleheader, and was only called because both teams needed to catch a train. 

In 1986 – Genesis is at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 for the only week with Invisible Touch. It was the 13th of 17 chart singles for the group, their second of seven Top 10 hits, and remains their only #1 song. The song also peaked at #15 in their native Great Britain, went to #1 on Billboard’s Mainstream Rock chart, and was Billboard’s 54th-biggest song of the year. The song was written by the group, and co-produced by the group and Hugh Padgham. 

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.

And now he saw by the heap of shavings still fresh at his feet, that, for him, and his work, the former lapse of time had been an illusion.
Henry David Thoreau
Walden

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.

Joe DiMaggio batted .408 during his 56-game hitting streak.  

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.

How many #1 songs has Genesis had in their native Great Britain? – Answer next time!

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The Daily Dose/July 17, 2022
By Gaylon Kent – America’s Funniest Guy™

The Sunday Bottom 5
A ranking of some things.

1. President Joe Biden- Biden takes big step making Saudi Arabia the pariah he pledged to make them for human rights abuses, murder of Jamal Khashoggi, by visiting Saudi crown prince and goveling more oil so we can pay a few cents less at the gas pump…Sunday Bottom 5 pollsters “pretty sure” this is presidential nadir on par with Nixon resignation, entire Trump Administration.   

2. Brittney Griner – US chick professional basketball player still in Russian custody following February arrest for possessing vape charges containing cannibis oil…Sunday Bottom 5 pollsters “stronly suspect” you take your chances when you break laws in foreign countries, just like foreigners do here…Exchange possibilities compounded over factors such as which Russian prisoner to exchange her for, plus fact there are other Americans who have been held in Russia longer. 

3. USA! USA! – The 3-hole staple…An American president groveling in Saudi Arabia for more oil…A Republican Party that has a segment still heralding known liar, sexual predator, ignoramus, Donald Trump as a presidential candidate…A country still  far closer to oblivion that awaits it than respect it once had.  

4. Major League Baseball All-Star Game – Like baseball itself – not to mention America – All-Star Game a shadow of its former self with viewership about a fifth of what it was at its peak…Interleague play partly responsible, of course, as thrill of anticipating top AL pitchers facing top NL batters (and vice-versa) for only time all season long gone now……Thanks interleague play! 

5. Fake News – Click here for more nonsense our fellow beings were believing this week. Courtesy of the AP. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

It’s Read Free Sunday (RFS) at The Diary. 
The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow is grateful the lawn still looks good from the street. Today’s Diary. 

Regular readers of this crap know that our usual line is the lawn is an eclectic mixture of weeds, grasses, and whole grains, but there are more weeds than usual this year…But at least they’re green and it’s tuff to tell they’re weeds from the street. 

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On This Date
Extra, extra, read all about it.  

In 1955 – Disneyland opens in Anaheim for media, invited guests, and a live TV audience. Walt Disney had been intrigued by amusement parks since the 1930s and his initial plan was to build one next to the Disney studios in Burbank before settling on Anaheim in 1953. The earliest plans for what was then referred to as Mickey Mouse Park are dated 1948 and Disneyland remains the only theme park designed and built under the direct supervision of Walt Disney. Due to a plumber’s strike, Disney was obliged to choose working toilets over drinking fountains.

In 1941 – Joe DiMaggio of the New York Yankees has his major league record 56-game hitting streak comes to an end in a 4-3 Yankee win over the Cleveland Indians. DiMaggio went 0-for-3 with a walk against Cleveland pitchers Al Smith and Jim Bagby to end the streak that had begun on May 15. DiMaggio had broken the record of 45 games established by Willie Keeler of the Baltimore Orioles in 1896-97. 

In 1971 – Jerry Reed is at #1 on Billboard’s country chart – then known as the Hot Country Singles chart – for the fifth and final consecutive week with When You’re Hot, You’re Hot. It was the first of three #1 country songs for Reed and his first of six Top 10s. The song also went #1 country in Canada, peaked at #9 on the Hot 100, and was Billboard’s fifth-biggest country song of the year. The song was written by Reed and refers to a back-alley craps game. 

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.

…be a Columbus to whole new continents and worlds within you, opening new channels, not of trade, but of thought.
Henry David Thoreau
Walden

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.

The Commodores have had two #1 songs on the Hot 100, Three Times a Lady (two weeks, 1978, and Still (one week, 1979). 

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.

What was Joe DiMaggio’s batting average during his 56-game hitting streak? – Answer next time!

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The Daily Dose/July 16, 2022
By Gaylon Kent – America’s Funniest Guy™

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience.

HUT, HUT, HIKE: College athletic conferences have been realigning for years, of course, but the past two years matters have ratcheted up a notch with Oklahoma and Texas announcing they were moving from the Big 12 to the SEC and the recent announcement that USC and UCLA were moving to the Big Ten – the Big Ten! – in 2024. For West Coast football fans this was sort of like your parents announcing they were finding another family. 

The move essentially creates two super conferences, the Big Ten and the SEC and everyone else is left to fend for themselves because with the exception of Notre Dame, there really aren’t any really big-name college sports teams out there. 

Crystal Ball Me: There is no way this ends good. There is no one in charge and lacking vision and leadership the inmates are running the asylum now with everyone – players, coaches, teams, conferences – are out for themselves. Now, this isn’t really a bulletin; major division college sports has been nothing but a money grab since Harvard and Yale first rowed against each other in 1852, when it was held to get people to go to a new resort and was contested, in part, by ringers. 

Dry, Technical, Matter: There was a time when colleges went through the motions of getting kids educated. Now, the motions can’t even be bothered with; there is neither collective thought nor a common good, merely an entire industry where everyone is looking out for themselves and trying to strafe us for every last possible dollar. 

The Bottom Line: We strongly suspected the USC/UCLA announcement would set off several knee-jerk reactions that would see the increasingly irrelevant Pac-12 scrambling, either by other schools fleeing or their trying to con other schools to join, but that hasn’t happened and if it hasn’t happened yet we just might have some stability for a while. Or not. With no one in charge, who knows what the inmates might do. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow mows the lawn, though there’s rain in the forecast. Today’s Diary. 

…but when you’ve been working the land as long as we have you know when to roll the dice and when not to, and while there were storm clouds over the next county, we made it, the rain not starting until a couple of minutes after we finished. 

———

Click here to get in on the laughs.
4Ever & Ever ($8.99) and monthly ($2.99) plans available.

Click here for complimentary chapters of all of Gaylon’s books.
It’s easy reading on any device. 

———

On This Date
Extra, extra, read all about it.  

In 1790 – President George Washington signs the Residence Act, which establish what would become Washington, DC, as the nation’s capital and temporarily moves the capital from New York City to Philadelphia. The capital, though unfinished, opened on schedule, with Congress holding its first session there in 1800. Though currently governed by an elected mayor and a city council, Congress still retains authority over the district, and Washington, DC now has three votes in the Electoral College. 

In 2017 – Roger Federer of Switzerland establishes a new Wimbledon record for most singles titles by a man in a 6-3, 6-1, 6-4 win over Marin Cilic of Croatia. It was the eighth singles title for Federer, breaking the record of seven established by Pete Sampras and William Renshaw and this remains the only Wimbledon final for Cilic, whose only major title came at the 2014 US Open. Federer remains the last man not named Novak Djokovic to win the Wimbledon men’s title.

In 1977 – The Commodores are at #1 on Billboard’s soul chart – then known as the Hot Soul Singles chart – for the only week with Easy. It was the eighth of 26 Top 40 soul hits for the group, their third of seven #1 soul hits, and was their third of ten Top 10 pop hits. The song also went #9 pop in Great Britain and peaked at #4 on the Hot 100. In 1993 a version by Faith No More peaked at #58 on the Hot 100 and at #3 in Great Britain. 

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.

We are all sculptors and painters, and our material is our own flesh and blood and bones.
Henry David Thoreau
Walden

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.

The first major leaguer to pitch multiple no-hitters was Larry Corcoran, who pitched three, in 1880, 1882, and 1884. Ambidextrous, Corcoran was the first of two major league players who was listed as “bats left, throws both”. The other was Pat Venditte, who pitched for six big league teams from 2015-20. 

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.

How many #1 songs have the Commodores had on the Hot 100? – Answer next time!

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The Daily Dose/July 15, 2022
By Gaylon Kent – America’s Funniest Guy™

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience.

Editor’s Note: This is Part 9 in our 33-part Life in a Small Town series. 

CAPSULE RESTAURANT REVIEW: The Creekside Grill, Hayden, CO: One of the things a small town needs is a place to eat. It doesn’t even have to be a particularly great place to eat, but it does have to be good, some place you can go to at reasonable hours for a decent meal. It’s good for town morale. 

Fly In The Ointment: This has been a hit-and-miss proposition the past few years here in Hayden. There was a really good diner downtown but our buddy Charlie – a retired Army cook who knew what growing boys like us wanted to eat – retired and the city slicker he sold it to had it closed within a year. The last restaurant was across from the post office on the other side of town, and it has had several tenants in the past decade or so, none of which were able to make a go of it. And that coffee place a block off Main Street serves pizza three or four evenings a week, and there are some food trucks, too, but we’ve long needed a stable, sit-down restaurant. 

Back On Message: Creekside opened this past weekend, to about as much fanfare as a weary small town could muster, though we weren’t able to make it in until breakfast recently. The interior hadn’t changed much and the service was dead slow, an element so traditional here we strongly suspect “slow service” is a municipal regulation or something. 

There were some attractive breakfast options, too, and it broke our heart to pass on biscuits and gravy and hotcakes for our standard cheese and onion omelet. It came with toast and potatoes and we cranked up the action with a side of sausage – patty, our favorite – and we’re pleased to report it was good, except for the toast, which had the top layer torn off because the butter they tried to apply was frozen. At $16, including a 20% tip, the cost wasn’t too bad, either. 

A Break In The Action: Here is the Daily Dose rating system: 1 – The Very Best; 2 – Very Good; 3 – Good; 4 – Average; 5 – A Steaming Pile

Final Ranking: 3: The omelet and sausage were very good, and in portions we appreciated, but the slow service – while not being particularly minded – and the top being torn off our toast prevented a higher ranking. Still though, they’re open every day for three meals a day, and we’ll be back. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow has news from the small town. Today’s Diary. 

The big news – and it’s about as big as it gets  – is the new restaurant in our small town opened!!!…I am not making that up…

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Click here to get in on the laughs.
4Ever & Ever ($8.99) and monthly ($2.99) plans available.

Click here for complimentary chapters of all of Gaylon’s books.
It’s easy reading on any device. 

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On This Date
Extra, extra, read all about it.  

In 1806 – The US Army’s Pike Expedition leaves an Army fort near St Louis, on an expedition to explore southern and western lands obtained in the Louisiana Purchase. After exploring present-day Colorado, a collection of errors led them into Spanish territory where some expedition members were taken prisoner by the Spanish though because the countries weren’t at war all were released, though some not for several years. The expedition was led by Lt. Zebulon Pike, for whom Pikes Peak is named. 

In 1876 – George Bradley of the St Louis Brown Stockings (NL) pitches the first no-hitter in major league history in a 2-0 win over the Hartford Dark Blues. It was the ninth of a major league record 16 shutouts on the season by Bradley, a mark tied in 1916 by Grover Alexander of the Philadelphia Phillies and which still stands. To date, 317 no-hitters have been pitched in the major leagues, a figure that does not include no-hitters of less than nine innings or those in the National Association, which is not recognized as a major league by either the major league record book or the staff of On This Date. 

In 1989 – Simply Red is at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the only week with If You Don’t Know Me By Now. It was the fourth of five Top 40 hits for the group and their second and final #1 song. The song also went to #1 in New Zealand and Australia, peaked at #2 in Great Britain, at #38 on Billboard’s soul chart, and won the Grammy Award for Best R&B Song. The song was written by Kenny Gamble and Leon Huff and in 1972 a version by Harold Melvin & the Bluenotes went #3 pop and #1 soul. 

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.

We are conscious of an animal in us, which awakens in proportion as our higher nature slumbers…Nature is hard to overcome, but she must be overcome.
Henry David Thoreau
Walden

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.

Tammy Wynette had 15 #1 country hits in Canada between 1967 and 1974. 

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.

Who was the first major leaguer to pitch multiple no-hitters? – Answer next time!

Share Gaylon! Go!