The Diary of a Nobody/July 16

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It’s Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…

Saturday, July 16
Amy was back, fresh from last week’s gall bladder removal and in fairly short order there was a Line of the Year candidate…Amy had been swamped and hadn’t gotten jack done: morning coffee service (MCS) was still out, the sundry stand was a fiasco, and, worst of all, my pitcher of ice water had yet to be produced…Heck, Amy was still farting around on the right computer, the one I use, so I couldn’t log in and get to work. 

None of this stopped Amy from discussing her surgery and talking about her recovery…The Line of the Year candidate came now, after we waved a hand over the front desk because that, too, was in some disarray:

Obviously light duty was prescribed…Because you didn’t do anything tonite… 

This went above Amy’s head not because she didn’t recognize the line’s brilliance, but because, typical of a woman, her sole focus was on her yapping. 

We were sold out tonite, 117 out of 117, with no rooms out of order, and there were several phone calls looking for a place to stay, with one lady saying “no worries” after being advised we were sold out…Yeah, no worries for me…I’m working all nite and don’t need a room and when it is time for beddy-bye I will be going home to The Shire…You, lady, do have some worries because it’s a weekend in summer and the whole town is sold out.

Sold out in summer means strong revenue, too, over $30K tonite with the average daily rate (ADR; revenue divided by rooms rented) very strong at $265 and change.  

Some people are just bright enuff to be stupid…At about 0630 this older broad, dressed for serious biking, comes to ask for a do not disturb (DND) sign for her door, advising they don’t want the maids to come by while their dog is in there…Well, house rules are you cannot leave Fido unattended in your room, a condition listed on the Pet Form you signed at check-in, and when I advise her of this she seemingly gets around it nicely by saying oh, then they’ll take their precious mutt with them.

Dumb broad…We don’t believe this any more than she does because serious bikers do not take dogs with them…Casual bikers do and you see them all the time here in town and their snotty, too, because they know that up here bikers with dogs all but sit at the right hand of The Father.

Actually, tho, it was a pretty good line, but someone smart enuff to come up with it should’ve been smart enuff not to mention the dog in the first place…She should’ve merely asked for the sign and left it at that…And, honestly, we only know and, frankly, care, about this when your abandoned dog starts and then doesn’t stop barking…When that happens and we can’t get a hold of you, we’ll make entry and see what the deal is and we may end up calling animal control, depending on your dog’s attitude and our feelings on the matter. 

A day after a mowing and fresh from some rain and recent watering, the lawn didn’t look too bad…At least while approaching it on Main Street…It was greener than it usually is this time of year and actually looked rather lush…Up close, tho, it’s not that great…Regular readers of this crap know that our usual line is the lawn is an eclectic mixture of weeds, grasses, and whole grains, but there are more weeds than usual this year…But at least they’re green and it’s tuff to tell they’re weeds from the street. 

There are also more flower-ish plants in the lawn this year, however, recall we’re cutting the lawn higher than in the past, so it could very well be the flowers had always been there, but had always been cut too short for them to bloom.  

Sparrow’s Sleep Log: 0830 Saturday until 2030 Saturday…12.0 hours for the day and (yawn) 50.0 hours for the week. 

We actually woke up from a dream around 1830 or so feeling pretty good after ten hours down and while we briefly entertained the idea of getting up, we executed a patented Sparrow Roll Over (SRO) to see if we could make it to the 2130 alarm and we’re not going to lie to you and tell you getting a 50-hour sleep week in wasn’t a consideration because we’d reviewed the numbers before turning in and knew we were close. 

———

The Diary of a Nobody is a novel. All elements are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Anything else is a coincidence. 

 It was inspired by the 19th-century British novel of the same name. 

Coming soon! Gaylon’s books in actual book form!

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