The Daily Dose/September 29, 2021
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy™

Leading Off
Notes from around our human experience. 

Leading Off is enjoying some time off while we work on a project. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody – At the hotel, Sparrow deals with a caller who is hard to understand. Today’s Diary. 

…and immediately after answering he starts in with some mumbo-jumbo that is hard to understand, tho I was able to pick up words like “lecture” and “problem”, but otherwise I can’t understand a damn thing he’s saying…At the end he asks if I’ve ever heard of a problem like that and – because I couldn’t understand him in the first place – I truthfully tell him, no, I haven’t heard of a problem like that and I ask him how I can best be of service because yours truly has some zero clue. 

The Bottom Ten/NFL Week 5 – Five (5) unvictoried teams, one Dan Henning Trophy, symbolic of NFL Bottom Ten supremacy. The race rolls on! 

Everything seemingly falling into place for strong Detroit B-10 title run as even Lions fan(s) shocked at loss on NFL record 66-yard field goal that hits crossbar before falling over…

With Jacksonville and Texas also in survey, divisional loss to Titans key in minefield that will be AFC South in 2021…

Bears with head of steam heading into Sunday’s B-10 showdown with Lions, exploding for 47 total yards vs. Browns…

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On This Date
The long march to today. 

In 1829 – The London Metropolitan Police Force is formed, with the first constables taking the streets. The service has jurisdiction in greater London, not including the 1-square mile City of London, which has its own police force.  Commonly known as The Met or Scotland Yard, it also has responsibility for protecting the British Royal Family. The force replaced a system of volunteer constables and watchmen that, with the growth of London thanks to the Industrial Revolution  – had become ineffective. 

In 1914 – The Boston Braves win the National League pennant, defeating the Chicago Cubs 3-2 while the New York Giants lost 5-2 to the Pittsburgh Pirates. The Braves had trailed the Giants by 11.5 games back as late as July 17 but won 60 of their last 76 games, took over first place on Sept 8 and won the pennant by 10.5 games. The Braves swept the Philadelphia Athletics 4 games to none in the World Series. 

In 1984 – Prince and the Revolution is at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the first of two consecutive weeks with Let’s Go Crazy. It was the sixth of 30 Top 40 hits for Price, his fourth of 19 Top 10 hits and his second of five #1s. The song also peaked at #2 in Great Britain and at #1 on Billboard’s soul and dance charts and was its 21st-biggest song of the year. The song was from the album Purple Rain, which was in its 19th of 24 consecutive weeks at #1 on the Billboard 200 album chart.  

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

Had not the same thing happened to his enemy Charles? And for an identical reason: Too proud, too sure of his destiny, he had ventured too far onto enemy ground.
Robert K Massie
Peter the Great

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.

Nick Foles, then of the Philadelphia Eagles, is the only NFL player to throw for seven touchdowns in a game and finish the game with a perfect NFL passer rating of 158.3

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.

When did the Boston Braves first use the nickname Braves? – Answer next time!

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The Daily Dose/September 28, 2021
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around our human experience. 

Leading Off is enjoying some time off while we work on a project. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow replaces a wiper blade on the new ride. Today’s Diary. 

Actually, I figured out old blade removal (OBR) soon enuff, but getting the replacement bugger installed was – and this is not the Upset of the Year – confusing and I was half-hoping some middle-aged housewife would come by and offer assistance, but none did and eventually yours truly figured it out. 

The Bottom Ten/NCAA Week 5 – It’s Arizona, UNLV and UMess forming one of the strongest Bottom Ten medal stands since the halcyon days of the Sun Belt Conference. Or the MAC.  

With big game against Vanderbilt this week, UConn cannot be caught looking ahead to 10/9 showdown with UMess for John Adams Spittoon – symbolic of Yankee football ineptitude.

Relative strength of MAC in 2021 shown in that Ohio’s future MAC opponents have an unusually lusty winning percentage of .438

A Lutheran school, coaching staff starting to “strongly suspect” player pregame access to communion wine will not be a key to victory in 2021.

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Click here for complimentary chapters of all of Gaylon’s books.
It’s easy reading on any device. 

Columns, books, shopping lists, click here to get in on the laughs.
4Ever & Ever ($8.99) and monthly ($2.99) plans available.

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On This Date
The long march to today. 

In 1889 – The meter is defined for the first time, at the 1st General Conference on Weights and Measures in Paris. The conference defined the meter as the length of an internationally recognized platinum-iridium bar and today is defined as the length light travels in a vacuum in 1/299,792,458 of a second. In other excitement at that first conference, the kilogram – roughly 2.2 lbs – was also defined for the first time. 

In 1969 – Joe Kapp of the Minnesota Vikings ties the NFL record for most touchdown passes in a game in a 52-14 win over the Baltimore Colts. Kapp threw seven touchdown passes to tie the mark established by Sid Luckman of the Chicago Bears in 1943 and done three other times previously. The record still stands and has been accomplished three times since, most recently by Drew Brees of the New Orleans Saints in 2015. 

In 1974 – Andy Kim is at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the only week with Rock Me Gently. It was the sixth of seven Top 40 hits for Kim, and was his second and final appearance at #1: in 1969 he had co-written and provided backing vocals for the #1 song Sugar, Sugar by the Archies. The song also went to #1 in Canada and peaked at #2 in Great Britain and was Billboard’s 29th biggest song of the year. In 1989, a version of the song by Michelle Wright peaked at #7 on Canada’s country chart.  

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

What has gone wrong with the people that they can’t see what’s happening to them?
Gore Vidal
The Golden Age

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.

Lionel Ritchie’s biggest hit on Billboard’s Hot 100 was Endless Love, a duet with Diana Ross that spent nine consecutive weeks at #1 in 1981.

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.

Of the eight players who have thrown for seven touchdown passes in an NFL game, how many completed that game with a perfect passer rating of 158.3? – Answer next time!

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The Daily Dose/September 27, 2021
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around our human experience. 

Leading Off is enjoying some time off while we work on a project. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody – At the hotel, Sparrow continues with his currency test. Today’s Diary. 

The $5 Bill Test (5BT) is still going on…Recall last week I put a taped-together $5 bill in the right drawer in the back of a paperclipped stack of 20 fivers, to see how long it would remain the drawer…Well, it was still there tonite, still the very last one, tho this time in a stack of seven five-dollar bills…Now, recall the bill’s status wasn’t noted yesterday, mainly because yours truly forgot about it, so plainly this field test isn’t as exciting as my seminal work on creamer usage earlier this month, but we’re going to keep with the (5BT) until the end. 

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Click here for complimentary chapters of all of Gaylon’s books.
It’s easy reading on any device. 

Columns, books, shopping lists, click here to get in on the laughs.
4Ever & Ever ($8.99) and monthly ($2.99) plans available.

———

On This Date
The long march to today. 

In 1066 – The Norman Invasion of England begins when The Duke of Normandy sets sail from France to invade England. The Duke would land at Pevensey the following day, defeated King Harold II at the Battle of Hastings on October 14 and was crowned William the Conqueror on Christmas Day and reigned until 1087, though his throne was not completely secured until 1072. The disposition of Harold II’s body remains unclear, though it is thought to have been thrown into the English Channel. 

In 2000 – The United States defeats Cuba 4-0 in the gold medal baseball game at the Sydney Summer Olympics. Ben Sheets, later of the Milwaukee Brewers, pitched a 3-hit shutout and the team was coached by Tommy Lasorda. It was the third time baseball had been an Olympic medal sport and was the first time Cuba did not win the gold medal. South Korea defeated Japan for the bronze medal.

In 1986 – Lionel Ritchie is at #1 on the Billboard 200 album chart for the first of two consecutive weeks with Dancing on the Ceiling. It was the second of three #1 albums for Ritchie and produced five Top 40 hits, including the #1 Say You, Say Me. The album also went to #1 in Norway and on Billboard’s soul album chart and peaked at #2 in Great Britain and was Billboard’s 99th-biggest album of 1986 and its 19th-biggest of 1987. 

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

…an American minority, armed with great wealth, could so subjugate the American political process as to oblige the many to glumly go to war for the benefit of the few.
Gore Vidal
The Golden Age

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.

The major league for pitching complete games in the most doubleheaders is five, done by Joe McGinnity of the Baltimore Orioles (AL, now the New York Yankees) and the New York Giants (NL) between 1901-03.  

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.

What was Lionel Ritchie’s biggest hot on Billboard’s Hot 100? – Answer next time!

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The Daily Dose/September 26, 2021
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

The Sunday Bottom 5
A ranking of some things.

1. COVID-19 – Dear Non-Vaxxers: by looking in the mirror you can see the biggest hold-up to putting COVID in our country’s rearview mirror…Get vaccinated, dammit…Sunday Bottom 5 pollsters “pretty sure” 1,900 COVID deaths a day is “like, dude, so 1,899 more than we should be having”. 

2. Lauren Daigle – Sunday Bottom 5 pollsters issuing fond farewell to singer whose song “You Say” established a new Billboard all-chart record with 129 non-consecutive weeks at #1 on Hot Christian Singles chart, an extraordinary figure…Spokesman for still-envious Morman Tabernacle Choir says ensemble putting finishing touches on hip-hop versions of Te Deum Laudamus, Nicene Creed to appeal to hip, with-it Lutherans. 

3. Donald Trump Supporters – The 3-hole staple, former president remains a lying sexual predator who believes the moon is part of Mars…And that the Revolution was won by the securing of British airports…Sunday Bottom 5 pollsters remain “pretty sure” asking Trump supporters which of these elements continues to solidify their support still reasonable question. 

4. CBSSports.com – Hey guys, Sunday Bottom 5 pollsters “strongly suspect” that if your big story is power rankings for NFL practice squads, there is officially now not enough news to fill available space…Inquire within for good rates for funny, weekly, Bottom Ten feature. 

5. President Joe Biden Fact Check – Psych!!!…President Biden so more or less sticking to facts AP has shut down Fact Check Desk – a 24/7 operation during the Trump Administration…Good news, though, is fact-checker layoffs hardly as massive as layoffs on Jan 21, which resulted in unemployment rate spiking to 21%. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

It’s Read Free Sunday at The Diary.

The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow has some office supply news from the hotel. Today’s Diary. 

The 3-hole punch war – Sparrow against the unknown imbecile who occasionally moves it – is back on…

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Click here for complimentary chapters of all of Gaylon’s books.
It’s easy reading on any device. 

Columns, books, shopping lists, click here to get in on the laughs.
4Ever & Ever ($8.99) and monthly ($2.99) plans available.

———

On This Date
The long march to today. 

In 1789 – President of the United States George Washington appoints Thomas Jefferson the first secretary of state. Per his own personal policy Jefferson – who had just returned from a tour as minister to France – whined about the time the job would take him away from his cherished Monticello and didn’t take office until the following March. Jefferson spent most of his time bickering with Treasury Secretary Alexander Hamilton, arguments Jefferson usually lost. Jefferson served until 1793. 

In 1908 – Ed Reulbach of the Chicago Cubs establishes a new major league record for fewest runs given up in a doubleheader in 5-0 and 3-0 victories over the Brooklyn Superbas, later the Dodgers. Reulbach broke the record of two runs which had been done on four other occasions and the feat has not been matched. Reulbach allowed nine hits, struck out eleven and walked two. The wins led to an anomaly in the standings: due to the fact the Cubs and New York Giants had played a different number of games, the Cubs were in second place, a half-game in front of the first-place Giants, who had a better winning percentage. 

In 1960 – Connie Francis is at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the first of two consecutive weeks with My Heart Has a Mind of Its Own. It was the ninth of 16 Top 10 hits on the Hot 100 for Francis and her second of three #1s. The song also peaked at #3 in Great Britain, at #11 on Billboard’s soul chart and was Billboard’s 17th-biggest song of the year. In a dull historical note, Francis was briefly married to a man who coached a baseball team whose games the writer of this feature used to umpire. 

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

The real struggle is with a small professional elite totally split off from the nation, pursuing wealth through wars that they invent and justify and resonate for others to die in.
Gore Vidal
The Golden Age

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.

Four amendments to the US Constitution are still pending. Two other proposed amendments – the Equal Rights Amendment and one concerning voting rights for District of Columbia residents – had their ratification periods expire. 

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.

Who holds the major league record for pitching complete games in the most doubleheaders? – Answer next time!

Share Gaylon! Go!