The Diary of a Nobody/September 25

Yes, Read Free Sunday (RFS) is a thing.

It’s Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…

Saturday, September 25
The 3-hole punch war – Sparrow against the unknown imbecile who occasionally moves it – is back on…It was NOT in its usual place on the back desk when I settled in tonight because someone  – and there remain no suspects – moved it back on top of the humongous filing cabinet…Ol’ Sparrow took it in customary stride, of course, merely placing it back on its usual place on the back office desk and declining to leave Post-It Notes with nasty messages on top of the humongous filing cabinets. 

The big news is ol’ Sparrow actually returned dishes left in the back office to the restaurant…Regular readers of this crap know usually they’re left because ol’ Sparrow is not a butler: if a co-worker has time to order from the restaurant, they have time to take the dishes they use back…Tonite Amy’s dinner dishes were actually still on the back office desk before she moved them to the top of the microwave and the lobby was packed when I reported for duty and she was busy fussing around the lobby and conference room and brought back four wine glasses.

Well, there is no need to nitpick here and yours truly returned everything to the restaurant for a couple of reasons…One, Amy makes me coffee every night and I’m suitably grateful for that and, 2) you can’t leave wine glasses in the back office because it’s reasonable to expect your nite auditor to clean up messes left by guests…Nobody says anything when I leave employee dishes in the back office because you can’t really argue with my point, however, they would, with reason, whine if guest dishes weren’t returned. 

About 0500 a gent from the old neighborhood checks in…I see his town and address on his ID and I say heck, we would’ve been neighbors at one time, ol’ Sparrow once living on Emerson between New and Del Mar and he recognized it immediately…It was 0500 and he had better things to do than chat about the hood, but he did note the legendary pastrami joint and of course, I’d eaten there growing up. 

I bought a sheath for the knife today…I’ve been looking for one for a while because I’d hate to have it fall off my belt and lose it…Precautions are taken, tho and regular readers of this crap may – or they may not – recall that a while ago yours truly bought the smallest possible Allen wrench there is so he could keep the clip nice and tight, because when it gets loose – like it tends to do every couple of weeks – is when it starts to slip off. 

Anyway, after scouring the internet with utter futility for a while a search yielded some nylon sheaths at the knife’s manufacturer’s website, which I’d only visited ten thousand times before…I have some zero clue how it was missed, but there they were, three sizes of exactly what I needed…To ensure I got the right one, I called the company and a nice girl assured me the Small was exactly what was needed, based on the model number of the knife. 

Let me tell you something, the model number, while easy to find right under the logo on the blade, was not easy to read, even with the magnifying glass, with yours truly obliged to squint and adjust the lamp so it was right on it before being able to make it out.  

The Portfolio continues to go down harder than a whore with the fleet in, down another 2% this week…Christ…Altho it should be noted it was actually up a bit following Monday’s total disaster which all but sent ol’ Sparrow to the street corner wearings a sandwich board and holding a tin cup, looking for change. 

Sparrow’s Sleep Log: 1630 Saturday until 2130 Saturday…5.0 for the day and an even-Steven 50.0 hours for the week and we will have the weekly average for the month tomorrow. 

You might’ve thought a 50 hours sleep would have been there for the taking what with the Herculean 15 hours of sleep Friday, but you would be wrong…In fact, it actually worked to the sleep total’s detriment because still feeling strong after the hotel, Ol’ Sparrow didn’t even start yawning until mid-afternoon and up until then it was a very pleasant day of project work and reading.  

The Diary of a Nobody is a novel. All elements are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Anything else is a coincidence. 

It was inspired by the 19th-century British novel of the same name. 

Gaylon’s books can also be found at The Reading Salon.

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