The Daily Dose/January 17, 2021
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

The Sunday Bottom 5
A ranking of some things. 

1. Donald Trump– Good riddance to the lying sexual predator who believes the moon is part of Mars and that securing British airports won the Revolution…Easily the worst president in US history, making Buchanon, Harding, Nixon all deserving of monuments. 

2. Joe Biden – Instead of a nice retirement, Biden set to become second consecutive president whom we feel didn’t really want the job in the first place, only running to keep Trump from being reelected…Sunday Bottom 5 pollsters sending best wishes, but good luck leading a country so divided it makes Civil War era, 1960’s seem like something out of Mother Goose.  

3. Lauren Daigle – After taking some time off for the holidays, her single You Say returns to Billboard Hot Christian Singles chart for  115th non-consecutive week at #1, extending mark for most weeks at top of any Billboard chart…Song dropped completely off chart, too, and is now one of few songs in Billboard chart history to go to #1 in separate chart runs. 

4. Jim Harbaugh – So good at job as Michigan football coach he was obliged to take $4 million/year pay cut, which Sunday Bottom 5 pollsters are “pretty sure” is “like, dude, an awful lot and stuff”…While he has won 70% of games at Michigan, has yet to beat Ohio State or any team as an underdog, but right now former elite program and former elite coach need each other. 

5. President Trump Fact Check – The last one, as fact-checkers everywhere preparing resumes for return to job market…With president laying relative low, click here for fun reminiscence of lies and distortions from January 6, courtesy of the AP. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody –  Sparrow has particularly dull news from around his small town. Today’s Diary. 

In news from around the small town, work has resumed on the new weed shop going up next door…They moved the snow out and dug out about three feet and put some boards up around the perimeter of the hole and there have been a couple of guys there most days farting around with this and that.

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It’s easy reading on any device. 

Columns, books, shopping lists, click here to get in on the laughs.
4Ever & Ever ($8.99) and monthly ($2.99) plans available. 

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On This Date
The long march to today. 

In 1920 – The era History refers to as Prohibition begins in the United States as the Volstead Act takes effect. The Volstead Act had been passed in 1919 to carry out the provisions of the 18th Amendment, which had been ratified the previous January and called for prohibiting “ the manufacture, sale, or transportation of intoxicating liquors”. The 18th Amendment was repealed in 1933 with the ratification of the 23rd Amendment and remains the only amendment to be repealed.

In 1999 – The Atlanta Falcons earn their first trip to the Super Bowl defeating the Minnesota Vikings in the NFC Championship Game 30-27 in overtime. The Falcons overcame a 13-point deficit and tied the game with a touchdown with 49 seconds left in regulation and Atlanta would lose to the Denver Broncos in Super Bowl XXXIII 34-19. The Falcons had entered the NFL in 1966 and have since lost one more Super Bowl, to the New England Patriots following the 2016 season.  

In 1970 – Led Zeppelin II by Led Zeppelin is at #1 on the Billboard 200 album chart for the second and final non-consecutive week. It was the first of seven #1 albums for the group and Led Zeppelin II also went to #1 in many other countries, including Spain, Denmark and their native Great Britain and peaked at #32 on Billboard’s soul albums chart. The album yielded one chart single, Whole Lotta Love, which peaked at #4 on the Hot 100. 

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

Rome had completed the fatal cycle known to Plato and to us: monarchy, aristocracy, oligarchic exploitation, democracy, revolutionary chaos, dictatorship. Once more…an age of freedom ended and an age of discipline began.
Will Durant
The Story of Civilization, Vol. III: Caesar and Christ 

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.

Ronnie Milsap’s only appearance on Billboard’s soul chart came in 1965 when Never Had It So Good peaked at 19. It was his first chart single, his first country hit coming in 1973. 

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard. 

How many #1 albums did Led Zeppelin have in Great Britain? – Answer next time!

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The Daily Dose/January 16, 2021
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience. 

PLAY BALL: Earlier this week the Washington Nationals announced an agreement with BetMGM to open a sports book at their stadium this season. Now, this is not the first such agreement between a team and a sportsbook, but it does illustrate a disturbing trend we’ve discussed here before: the ongoing relationship between leagues and their teams with legal sports betting. 

Dry, Technical Matter: Very few seem to be getting worked up over this, either. We should, though, because there is little reason to suspect this will not be a license to print money and there will come a time when the players will want their cut of it. This probably won’t be an issue in major league baseball where players enjoy a free market for their talents, but in football, hockey and basketball – where players do not and get a percentage of a league’s revenue – it will be. 

Fly In The Ointment: This is what we will have: leagues, teams and players with a financial interest in the betting handle of a game and friends if you don’t think there will come a time when it will be in their interest to lose a game in order to further betting interest in the following game you are high, legally in more and more states. 

The Bottom Line: There’s a reason pro sports spent decades avoiding openly embracing organized betting: there cannot be even the faintest hint that their games are anything other than legitimate athletic contests, with both teams trying to win. Having leagues, teams and players with a financial interest in a game’s betting handle will change this and will, eventually, result in fixed games. Bet on it. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody –  Sparrow almost freezes to death. Today’s Diary. 

I enter the main pool following my workout this morning and the lifeguard informs me the pool is closed for the class that’s going on and could I utilize one of the other hot springs???…Of course I can, tho I ask if I could sneak thru because it’s below zero out and am told no, I can’t…Well, OK, but it would have been useful to know this before I’d gotten soaking wet so ol’ Sparrow wouldn’t have to report to the heart spring with a layer of ice on him…You get used to walking in only a swimsuit in the brutal cold here, but doing so wet for even that relatively small distance was really effing cold.

It’s Sparrow, an average man passing an average life.

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Click here for complimentary chapters of all of Gaylon’s books.
It’s easy reading on any device. 

Columns, books, shopping lists, click here to get in on the laughs.
4Ever & Ever ($8.99) and monthly ($2.99) plans available. 

———

On This Date
The long march to today. 

In 27 BC – The Roman Empire is founded as the Roman Senate names Gaius Octavius – known to history as Augustus – the first Roman emperor. Previously, the Roman Republic had been a collection of towns and provinces governed by elected magistrates and military commanders and the Roman Empire is generally considered to have ended in 476 AD. Augustus ruled until 14 AD and was succeeded by his adopted son Tiberius. 

In 1960 – Gordie Howe of the Detroit Red Wings becomes the leading scorer in NHL history in a 2-1 win over the Chicago Blackhawks. Howe has an assist and a goal, giving him 948 career points, breaking the record of 947 established by Maurice Richard of the Montreal Canadiens. Richard, still active, would reclaim the mark on the 21st, but Howe reclaimed it for good on the 24th. Howe retired in 1980 with 1,850 points and the record is now held by Wayne Gretzky with 2,857. 

In 1982 – Ronnie Milsap is at #1 on Billboard’s country chart – then known as the Hot Country Singles chart – for the only week with I Wouldn’t Have Missed It for the World. It was the 19th of 34 #1 country songs for Milsap and his first of three for the year. The song also went to #1 on Canada’s country chart and peaked at #20 on the Hot 100, where it was his third of five Top 40 pop hits. 

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

A great civilization is not conquered from without until it has destroyed itself within. The essential causes of Rome’s decline lay in her people, her morals, her class struggle, her failing trade, her bureaucratic despotism, her stifling taxes, her consuming wars.
Will Durant
The Story of Civilization, Vol. III: Caesar and Christ 

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.

Basketball made its Olympic debut at the 1936 Berlin Summer Games. It had been a demonstration sport at the 1904 St Louis Games and the first women’s Olympic tournament was at Montreal in 1976. 

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard. 

What was Ronnie Milsap’s biggest hit on Billboard’s soul chart? – Answer next time!

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The Daily Dose/January 15, 2021
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience. 

Leading Off has the day off.

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody –  Sparrow rolls with a different type of coffee. Today’s Diary. 

The big news is I bought a different coffee at the retailer…I am not making that up…The usual donut shop knockoff – while still officially in favor as the Official Coffee of Sparrow’s Morning Routine (OCSMR) – could use a break, so some time was spent in the coffee aisle staring at the selections with my hands on my hips. 

It’s Sparrow, an average man passing an average life.

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Click here for complimentary chapters of all of Gaylon’s books.
It’s easy reading on any device. 

Columns, books, shopping lists, click here to get in on the laughs.
4Ever & Ever ($8.99) and monthly ($2.99) plans available. 

———

On This Date
The long march to today. 

In 1777 – The Republic of New Connecticut is formed in what is now the State of Vermont when 28 delegates decide to break free from Quebec, New York and New Hampshire. Due to competing land claims New York had in the area, the new republic was never recognized by the Continental Congress – or any other nation, for that matter – and the republic entered the Union as the 14th state in 1791.

In 1892 – The first rules of basketball, written by Dr James Naismith, are published in the Springfield (MA) College newspaper. Naismith, a teacher at the college, was looking for an indoor sport for his students and the first game had been played in December. There were 13 rules, though dribbling wasn’t mentioned and players committing a personal foul had to sit out until the goal was scored and games consisted of two 15-minute halves with a 5-minute intermission. It derived its name because peach baskets were originally used as goals. 

In 1977 – Leo Sayer is at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the only week with You Make Me Feel Like Dancing. The song also went to #1 in Canada and New Zealand, peaked #2 in Great Britain, at #43 on Billboard’s soul chart and was Billboard’s 13th biggest song of the year. It was the second of eight Top 40 hits for Sayer, his second of four Top 10 hits and was his first of two #1 songs (When I Need You, one week, 1977).  Sayer co-wrote the song with Vini Poncia and the pair would win the Grammy Award in 1978 for Best R&B Song. 

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

The comfort of the way it is instead of the unknown of the way it should be is difficult to overcome.
An old saying 

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.

Hosni Mubarak was the Egyptian leader who was overthrown – in 2011 – during the Arab Spring. He had been president of Egypt since 1981 

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard. 

When did basketball make its Olympic debut? – Answer next time!

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The Daily Dose/January 14, 2021
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience. 

STOP US IF YOU’VE HEARD THIS BEFORE: President Donald Trump was impeached by the House of Representatives Wednesday, joining Andrew Johnson, Bill Clinton and Donald Trump as the only presidents to be so charged. 

Dry, Technical Matter: Trump was charged with one count of incitement of insurrection for his role in the January 6 riot at the US Capitol. Despite the fact it is likely Trump will be out of office before the Senate conducts a(nother) trial, the House had to do something because History simply could not have recorded them sitting around doing nothing. 

FunFact: Despite the fact Trump could not be removed from the presidency if found guilty after January 20, the Senate can vote to prohibit him from hold further office, so a trial would have some substance and not merely be symbolic. 

Monday Morning Quarterback: For our money, the only thing that really saved the country from complete anarchy on January 6 was Trump himself: he is not evil. He is ignorant and incompetent and his only real talent is drawing attention to himself, but he is not a dictator at heart. Had he been he would have declared martial law and declared the results of the election null and void and we don’t think Americans would have meekly accepted this; the bloodshed would have been on. 

The Bottom Line: Trump deserved this impeachment, too, but now what? Joe Biden will be president in less than a week and there will be things he wants to do and he doesn’t need the Senate occupied with a trial of a former president. So a trial will probably be quick and there is the point  – well taken by those who don’t get invited to too many parties – that a short Senate trial does not give the process the attention or respect it deserves. 

More Bottom Line: But Trump hasn’t given his country or his fellow citizens the attention or respect they deserve, either, so perhaps the Senate can convene, try and convict him on January 19. It would be a fitting end to the worst presidency this once-proud nation has seen.  

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

Of course it’s Read Free Fortnight.

The Diary of a Nobody –  Sparrow can’t be bothered to go out for dinner. Today’s Diary.

Hardly for the first time, yours truly flaked out on going out for Wednesday dinner…Recall plans were to go that nice American eatery in town and blow the remainder of the gift card on a fine steak and some duck liver, but I knocked off from the VSO a couple of hours early and ended up celebrating $1 Pizza Slice Wednesday at the small town convenience store, supplemented with a couple of their pretty good burgers. 

The Bottom Ten/The Best of 2020 – Of course we can mine one last column for the season, so sit back and enjoy the funniest lines from the 2020 NCAA and NFL Bottom Tens.

The Bottom Ten Line of the Year

Vanderbilt – Commodores still reeling from turn-of-century merger of Athletic, Student Affairs departments, as girls enrolled in Rich Kids Having Rich Kids program take over training table as pregame breastfeedings result in players wanting in-game burps, naps.

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Click here for complimentary chapters of all of Gaylon’s books.
It’s easy reading on any device. 

Columns, books, shopping lists, click here to get in on the laughs.
4Ever & Ever ($8.99) and monthly ($2.99) plans available. 

———

On This Date
The long march to today. 

In 2011 – What History refers to as the Arab Spring begins when the president of Tunisia, Zine El Abidine Ben Ali, flees to Saudi Arabia. (He would die there in 2019.) Protests throughout the region later resulted in the ouster of leaders in Egypt, Libya and Yemen and there were major protests in Algeria, Iraq, Jordan, Kuwait, Morocco, Oman and Sudan as well as minor ones throughout northern Africa and the Arab world. The Arab Spring would later be credited with inspiring the Occupy movement throughout the world in October 2011.

In 1973 – The Miami Dolphins become the first NFL team to finish a season undefeated and untied in a 14-7 won over the Washington Redskins in Super Bowl VII. The Dolphins had gone 14-0 in the regular season and defeated Cleveland and Pittsburgh in their first two playoff games and their feat remains unmatched. In the 1920s, before playoffs, four NFL teams had finished a regular season unbeaten, but with tie games, and in 2007 the New England Patriots had a perfect regular season before losing the Super Bowl.

In 1984 – Yes is at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the first of two consecutive weeks with Owner of a Lonely Heart. It was the third of six Top 40 hits for the group and their first since Roundabout hit #13 in 1972 and remains their only #1 appearance on any Billboard chart. The song also peaked at #28 in Great Britain and at #69 on Billboard’s soul chart and was Billboard’s eighth biggest song of the year.

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

The trouble with a situation like this was that a man had to keep going forward until there was no turning back.
Louis L’Amour
The Lonesome Gods

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.

Earth, Wind & Fire’s biggest hot on the Hot 100 was Shining Star, which spent one week at #1 in 1975. 

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard. 

Who was the Egyptian leader overthrown in the Arab Spring? – Answer next time!

Share Gaylon! Go!