The Daily Dose/January 8, 2021
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience. 

Leading Off will return. There’s nothing going on today, anyway. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody –  Sparrow actually cooks. Today’s Diary. 

I made spaghetti for the first time in ages today, the first time the stove’s been used for anything other than storage in quite a while…It all came back to me, too: preparing the Italian sausage chunks, timing the noodles and the bread so they were all ready at the same time, ensuring the jar of sauce wasn’t out of date and there was even sufficient foresight to buy some parmesan cheese a couple of days ago.

It was as good as it always was, except for the fact I forgot to use the cheese…I am not making that up…It was right there on the desk next to me but for reasons that will never be clear ol’ Sparrow declined to use it…Well, I did put some on after I was 99% done, but the cat attacked it immediately and got most of it. 

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On This Date
The long march to today. 

In 1835 – Under President Andrew Jackson, the national debt of the United States is zero. Jackson had both cut spending and increased revenues by selling off land the government owned out west, though the debt-free era only lasted for a year. The US had been in debt since the Revolution when it had its own debt and also assumed the debts of the several states. This would be the only time the US government was debt-free. It remains the only time the United States government has been debt-free. 

In 1947 – Howard Meeker of the Toronto Maple Leafs ties the NHL record for most goals in a game by a rookie in a 10-4 win over the Chicago Blackhawks. Meeker had five goals, tying a mark that had been done five times by three players – Harry Hyland, Joe Malone (3 times) and Mickey Roach – the first time the feat had been accomplished since 1920 and the record was tied in October 1976 by Don Murdoch. The mark still stands. 

In 1983 – Marvin Gaye is at #1 on Billboard’s soul chart – then known as the Hot Black Singles chart – for the tenth and final consecutive week with Sexual Healing. It was the 13th and final #1 soul song for Gaye and Sexual Healing also peaked at #3 on the Hot 100, at #4 in Great Britain and was Billboard’s biggest soul song of the year. The song returned to the Hot 100 in 1995 when a version by Max-A-Million peaked at #60. Gaye was shot to death by his father the following April. 

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

It is natural for man to indulge in the illusion of hope. We are apt to shut our eyes against a painful truth…
Patrick Henry
3/23/1775

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.

The NHL record for most tie games in a season in 24, done by the 1969-70 Philadelphia Flyers. 

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard. 

What is the current national debt of the United States? – Answer next time!

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The Daily Dose/January 7, 2021
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience. 

USA! USA!: In some respects, it’s good to see our fellow citizens storm the capitol. Our government has a lot to answer for and for some things our capitol deserves to be stormed. 

Fly In The Ointment: But not for this, of course. Not by ignorants under the spell of an ignorant – and selfish and petulant – president who believes the moon is part of Mars. Protesting this election where there was zero evidence of fraud had no merit. They were children throwing a tantrum because they didn’t get what they wanted on Election Day. 

Let’s Look In The Mirror: Blame is easy to find: it’s shared by all of us, you and me, we the people. We got here because long ago we stopped holding leaders and candidates accountable and we stopped demanding our media do that, too. For years we the people have been rubber-stamping the reelection of incumbents who ignore us and the good of the country because their only real goal is to consolidate wealth and power. For years we’ve accepted a media that prefers to entertain rather than inform us. 

Lights, Camera, Action: There was a time when a real American media would have had an ignorant bully of a billionaire looking to reinvigorate a fading personal brand out of the race before you could say “Iowa caucuses” but that time has long passed. Trump meant ratings and clicks, so he was ushered right into the primaries, the nomination and then the White House. 

The Bottom Line: We’re not wizards here, but it would not surprise us if a hundred years from now all new people are looking back on January 6, 2021, as America’s denouement. The only thing to be determined is whether it was the rock bottom catalyst that sends us to Democracy Anonymous for recovery or leads to more of the same, sending us to History’s scrap heap. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody –  Someone farted around with the creamers at the hotel. Today’s Diary. 

The big news is someone – and there are no suspects – switched up the creamer line-up…There used to be three rows of French vanilla creamers and two rows of hazelnut creamer but for reasons that will probably never be clear those have been reversed…I am not making that up: there are now three rows of hazelnut creamer and two rows of Fench vanilla…As a practical matter, this makes no sense because those on the front lines of Morning Coffee Service (MCS) know French vanilla is used considerably more than hazelnut – tho half & half is used more than either of them – and yours truly doesn’t think it will be too long until it is switched back up again.

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It’s easy reading on any device. 

Columns, books, shopping lists, click here to get in on the laughs.
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———

On This Date
The long march to today. 

In 1948 – Captain Thomas Mantell of the Kentucky Air National Guard dies in a plane crash while chasing a suspected UFO. Mantell was at an Army airbase near Fort Knox when a UFO was reported in the western part of the state. Flying a P-51 Mustang, Mantell ignored suggestions to level his altitude, blacked out and died after his plane crashed on the ground. Mantell was 25 and had been awarded the Distinguished Flying Cross for skill and bravery in World War II and an investigation suggested Mantell was likely chasing a weather balloon. 

In 1980 – The longest unbeaten streak in NHL history ends when the Minnesota North Stars defeat the Philadelphia Flyers 7-1. It was the first loss for the Flyers since a 9-2 loss to the Atlanta Flames on October 13, a span of 35 games during which they had 25 wins and ten ties. The Flyers had broken the record of 28 established by the Montreal Canadiens in the 1977-78 season and the record still stands and, because there are no longer ties in NHL games, will be very difficult to break. 

In 1983 – George Strait is at #1 on Billboard’s country chart – then known as the Hot Country Singles chart – for the only week with You Look So Good In Love. It was the third of a country chart record 44 #1 songs for Strait, and the song also went to #1 on Canada’s country chart. The song was also Strait’s first video and he was so thrilled with it was his last for several years. 

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

If you were born in an orange box, would that make you an orange?
Len Deighton
Spy Hook

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power. 

Nights in White Satin was the biggest hit by the Moody Blues on the Hot 100, peaking at #2 in 1972. 

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard. 

Who holds the NHL record for the most tie games in a season? – Answer next time!

Follow Gaylon on Facebook here. 

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The Daily Dose/January 6, 2021
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience. 

USA! USA!: With their nonsense today about challenging the results of the Electoral College in a joint session of Congress, the GOP may well be at their lowest point ever. McCarthyism, Watergate, lying to get us into the 2003 Iraq War, all of those may well end up paling in comparison to today. 

Broad Historical Context: While President Richard Nixon certainly had his henchmen and supporters, there came a time when the party realized Nixon wasn’t doing our country any good anymore and had to go. Trump – a lying sexual predator who believes the moon is part of Mars – reached that point on Inauguration Day but is still commanding support even though none is deserved. 

Dry, Technical Matter: Why some are still supporting an ignorant blatherskite is interesting. Some are answering to the basic human instinct of siding with the power. Some genuinely believe Trump has merit. Some are posturing to capitalize on Trump’s not insignificant base for 2024. 

Electoral College 101: GOP efforts today will come to nothing. We discussed this yesterday: while Congress can reject the vote of an individual elector, it is very difficult to do and cannot be done simply because the result isn’t liked. An electoral vote can only be rejected if the elector was not lawfully appointed by a state’s governor or if the vote was not legally cast and there is no evidence anywhere this is the case with any of the 535 electoral votes that will be presented today.  

Fly In The Ointment: Today’s charade by the GOP might well be their nadir. They are doing the bidding of an ignorant, incompetent, petulant child who doesn’t deserve the time of day from them, much less unquestioned loyalty. It’s futile, too, because the Democrats control the House and will reject any challenge. 

The Bottom Line: It’s time for the GOP to go. They have not produced a decent elected president since Eisenhower – Ford, not elected, did well in circumstances the Son of Man would have found challenging – and today’s sham shows that like Trump they have nothing to offer the country but ignorance and blather.

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow actually has to work at the hotel. Today’s Diary. 

Ol’ Sparrow had to lay the hammer down, tonight, too…I was so commanding a dictator would have achieved and maintained a state of arousal at my authoritative bearing.

The Bottom Ten/NFL Final – It’s all over as Jacksonville’s season-ending 15-game losing streak earns them their first Dan Henning Trophy – symbolic of NFL Bottom Ten supremacy.

1. Jacksonville Jaguars  (1-15; lost to Indianapolis 28-14) – First-ever B-10 title causes owner Genghis Khan to call off jihad against team for winning opener…Pressure already on to repeat, as team fires head coach in hopes of finding someone bad enough to get them to 0-16…Next Loss: 2021

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Click here for complimentary chapters of all of Gaylon’s books.
It’s easy reading on any device. 

Columns, books, shopping lists, click here to get in on the laughs.
4Ever & Ever ($8.99) and monthly ($2.99) plans available. 

———

On This Date
The long march to today. 

In 1540 – King Henry VIII of England marries his fourth wife Anne of Cleaves. Henry thought the marriage necessary because he wanted an alliance with Anne’s brother, a leader in protestant Germany. Henry ended up being no more pleased with Anne than with any other of his wives and had the marriage annulled in July, a move Anne did not contest. In appreciation, Henry didn’t have her head chopped off and gave her a generous settlement and substantive title. 

In 1995 – Lenny Wilkins of the Atlanta Hawks establishes a new NBA record for most wins by a head coach in a 112-90 win over Washington Bullets. It was the 939th career win for Wilkins, breaking the record established by Red Auerbach between 1947-66. Wilkins would retire in 2005 with 1,332 career wins and the record is now held by Donn Nelson, who won 1.335 games between 1977-2010. Wilkins coached the Seattle SuperSonics to the NBA title in 1979. 

In 1973 – The Moody Blues are at #1 on the Billboard 200 album chart for the fifth and final week with Seventh Sojourn. It was their first of two #1 albums in the US (Long Distance Voyager, three weeks, 1981) and the album also went to #1 in Canada and peaked at #35 in their native Great Britain. The album produced two Hot 100 hits: Isn’t Life Strange (#29) and I’m Just a Singer (In a Rock and Roll Band) (#12). 

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

…a thousand taboos restrict his action, a thousand terrors limit his will.
Will Durant
The Story of Civilization, Vol I: Our Oriental Heritage

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar.

The NHL record for most career points by an active goalie is 19 by Jonathan Quick of the Los Angeles Kings. Henrik Lundqvist, who played last year with the New York Rangers, has 27, however, he announced he will not be playing this season due to a medical condition. 

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard. 

What was the Moody Blues’ biggest hit on the Hot 100? – Answer next time!

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The Daily Dose/January 5, 2021
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience. 

USA! USA!: In accordance with what remains of our Constitution, Congress will meet Wednesday to certify the Electoral College results that elected Joe Biden president. The Constitution mandates this be done on January 6 and while some in Congress have gotten their shorts in a knot over this and that over the years, it is usually a fairly routine process. 

Fly In The Ointment: Paced by the Idiot-in-Chief Donald Trump, some in the GOP are prepared to mount a challenge to the Electoral College’s results. There is no basis for this. There is no evidence of election fraud and the courts from sea to shining sea – including the US Supreme Court – have dismissed Trump’s judicial challenges. 

Dry, Technical Matter: But Congress can reject a state’s Electoral College results. It’s difficult, by design, but it can be done. Here’s how:

More Dry, Technical Matter: First, a member of Congress has to submit, in writing, an objection to a state’s results and to be considered this objection must be signed by one member of the Senate and one member of the House. If this happens, the Senate would withdraw to their chambers and both houses would consider the matter and both would have to vote to reject a state’s submission. And they can’t dismiss a state’s submission simply because they don’t like the result.

Please Pass The Dry, Technical Matter: The Electoral Count Act of 1887 is very clear on the matter stating, in part, an elector’s vote can only be overturned if the elector was not “lawfully certified” by a state’s governor or the elector’s vote was not “lawfully given” and there is no evidence anywhere that this is the case with any of the 535 electoral votes cast. 

The Bottom Line: The GOP’s efforts will fail, of course. If anything does come to a vote, the US House is in control of the Democrats and good luck getting them to reject a Biden victory in a state. Still, though, this charade is a microcosm of the last four years: Trump acting embarrassingly stupid, issuing constant blather and making himself, his party and us look silly. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody –  It’s doggie central at the hotel this morning. Today’s Diary.

Christ, it was a kennel at the front desk this morning…First, Luke the Maintenance Guy brought Z with him today and left her at the front desk…Regular readers of this crap know Z doesn’t particularly like me – our relationship is best described as “correct” – and can generally be counted on to leave me alone…Then Tammy shows up with her rambunctious new puppy Whiskey…Z immediately starts barking and dispatches herself to the back door to greet him and then they’re both barking and ol’ Sparrow is a cat guy and can’t really take this and then they both charge to the front desk and Whisky sees me and jumps on me and Z doesn’t want to be left out and she runs into me, too, almost shredding my left knee…Yours truly is generally pretty good about chatting with Tammy for a bit but, boy, there are too many noisy dogs and I flee.

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Click here for complimentary chapters of all of Gaylon’s books.
It’s easy reading on any device. 

Columns, books, shopping lists, click here to get in on the laughs.
4Ever & Ever ($8.99) and monthly ($2.99) plans available. 

———

On This Date
The long march to today. 

In 1933 – Construction begins on the Golden Gate Bridge, which will connect San Francisco with Marin County. The bridge was completed ahead of schedule and under budget and opened in 1937. The first toll was 50 cents – about $8.90 in today’s money – and today tolls for cars range from $7.7- to $8.70 depending on the payment method used and since 1968 tolls have only been collected for southbound traffic. 

In 1999 – Tom Barrasso of the Pittsburgh Penguins establishes a new NHL record for most career points by a goalie in a 5-1 win over the Calgary Flames. Barrasso had two assists in the game, giving him 48 career points, one more than Grant Fuhr of the Edmonton Oilers, Toronto Maple Leafs, Buffalo Sabres, Los Angeles Kings, St Louis Blues and Calgary Flames. Barrasso’s record still stands. 

In 1980 – KC and the Sunshine Band is at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 for the only week with Please Don’t Go, the first #1 song of the 1980s. It was the fifth and final #1 song for the group and their sixth and final Top 10 hit. The song also went to #1 in South Africa, Australia and Canada, peaked at #3 in Great Britain and was Billboard’s 19th biggest song of the year. In 1992, a version by KWS peaked at #6 on the Hot 100 and at #1 in Great Britain. 

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

The only graceful way to accept an insult is to ignore it; if you can’t ignore it, top it; if you can’t top it, laugh at it; if you can’t laugh at it, it is probably deserved.
Russell Lynes

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar.

The last building in the US to be the world’s tallest building was the Sears Tower – now the Willis Tower – in Chicago, from 1973-1998.

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard. 

Who holds the NHL record for most career points by an active goalie? – Answer next time!

Follow Gaylon on Facebook here.

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The Daily Dose/January 4, 2021
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience. 

OH, JESUS H: Saturday, in our popular On This Date segment, we noted that Earth made its closest point of approach to the sun for 2021 – 91,399,454 miles – that day. This phenomenon is known as perihelion and happens, for now, a couple of weeks after the start of winter. The opposite, the point when Earth is farthest away from the sun, is called aphelion and happens a couple of weeks after the start of summer. 

Dry, Technical Matter: Those who read Saturday’s entry also know that the date of perihelion is changing. In the 13th century, it fell on the winter solstice and in 4,000 years, more or less, perihelion will occur on the spring equinox. 

Dry, Technical Spoiler Alert: The following figure is the answer to today’s Trivia feature, but the farthest the Earth would be from the Earth this century came on July 4, 2019, at 94,513,216 million miles. 

Oh Hell: We did even more research – imagine that – and found that in the 1,000 year period from 1500 through 2500 the closest and farthest Earth would be from the sun both came in the 16th century: 91,377,789 miles on December 17, 1545 and 94,533,397 miles on June 17, 1509. We still don’t know if we are relieved or frustrated that we were unable to find an even broader range of perihelion/aphelion figures. 

Thank You, Captain Science: You might think that with our distance from the sun varying by as many as three million it might affect our weather, but, plainly it does not because it’s winter and we’re closer to the sun and we are still freezing our keisters off here at the home office. The earth’s orbit has little bearing on temperature. The key is the tilt of the earth’s axis, and in winter we are tilted farther away from the sun than we are in summer. 

The Bottom Line: Uh, there’s really not a Bottom Line point to this item, the Upset of the Year, we know. We had some extra information that there wasn’t room for in the limited space obliged by the popular On This Date segment lying around and we wanted to share it with you. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody –  At the hot springs, Sparrow watches a kid spit water on his sister. 

The sister whines, loudly and to no one in particular, that Justin had spit water on her and immediately mother springs into action, requesting Justin’s immediate presence…To show how serious this was she motioned him with an index finger which I seem to remember meaning big trouble when issued by Ma Sparrow. 

Mom, however, immediately referred the matter to Dad so Justin, back in the pool, waded over while Dad, in timeless Dad fashion, didn’t appear to know what had happened…Still tho, the son sat next to his dad and Dad whispered something in his ear which, judging by the body language, appeared to carry an us-against-them tone. 

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Click here for complimentary chapters of all of Gaylon’s books.
It’s easy reading on any device. 

Columns, books, shopping lists, click here to get in on the laughs.
4Ever & Ever ($8.99) and monthly ($2.99) plans available. 

———

On This Date
The long march to today. 

In 2010 – The world’s tallest building, the Burg Khalifa in Dubai, officially opens. It is 2,722 feet tall – more than half a mile – and has 163 stories and elevators that travel over 1,600 feet, both of which are world records, too. It replaced Taipei 101 as the world’s tallest building and retains the title today. The building also has 2,909 stairs going as high as the 160th floor. 

In 1984 – Adrian Dantley of the Utah Jazz ties the NBA regular-season record for most free throws in a game in a 116-111 win over the Houston Rockets in a game played in Las Vegas. Dantley went 28-for-29 from the line to tie the record established by Wilt Chamberlain of the Philadelphia Warrior on March 2, 1962, and the record still stands. The all-time record is 30, done by Bob Cousy of the Boston Celtics on March 21, 1953, in Game 2 of the Eastern Conference semifinals. 

In 1975 – Elton John is at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the first of two consecutive weeks with Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds. It was the third of eight #1 songs for John, a figure that includes his appearance on That’s What Friends Are For with Dionne and Friends. The song also went to #1 in Canada, peaked at #10 in Great Britain and was Billboard’s 34th biggest song of the year. The song was originally released in 1967 by the Beatles, though it was never released as a single. 

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

The country was in peril; he was jeopardizing his traditional rights of freedom and independence by daring to exercise them.
Joseph Heller
Catch-22

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar.

Tony Dorsett currently ranks 10th on the NFL career rushing list with 13,259 yards. 

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard. 

What was the last American building to be the tallest in the world? – Answer next time!

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