The Bottom Ten/NFL Final

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The Bottom Ten/NFL Week 19
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

It’s all over but the crying for the 31 NFL teams that did not win The Dan Henning Trophy – symbolic of NFL Bottom Ten supremacy in 2021. But the celebration is on in Jacksonville, where Jaguar fan(s) are celebrating – after years of close calls – their first-ever NFL Bottom Ten title. 

Of course, we all have our memories: the Jets 0-13 start before faltering and winning a couple of games, the NFC East’s quest to have a division champion with four (4) wins and the annual trek by the Bengals and Lions to maintain two decades of Bottom Ten excellence. 

The final fiasco, as the nags limp across the finish line: 

1. Jacksonville Jaguars  (1-15; lost to Indianapolis 28-14) – First-ever B-10 title causes owner Genghis Khan to call off jihad against team for winning opener…Pressure already on to repeat, as team fires head coach in hopes of finding someone bad enough to get them to 0-16…Next Loss: 2021

2. New York Jets (2-14; lost to New England 28-14) – Oh what might have been, as Jets fan(s) fuming over team’s inability to claim first B-10 title following 0-13 start…Team expected to use draft to focus on dropped passes, turnovers in shoring up squad for 2021 run…Next Loss: 2021 

3. Atlanta Falcons (4-12; lost to Tampa Bay 44-27) – Falcons earn final, coveted B-10 medal stand spot based on most five (5)-game losing streaks in a season tie-breaker with Texans…Botched onside kickoff return vs Cowboys strong contender of B-10 Play of the Year…Next Loss: 2021

3. Houston Texans (4-12; lost to Tennessee 31-28 ) – Five (5) straight losses to end season not enough for final, coveted B-10 medal stand spot, as Texans only started year with modest four (4)-game skid…Next Loss: 2021

4. Philadelphia Eagles (4-11-1; lost to Washington 20-14) – Eagles tanking final game not enough to earn final, coveted spot on B-10 medal stand…With Eagles and Bengals tying, Eagles get nod over Bengals due to strength-of-schedule points for playing in NFC East…Next Loss: 2021 

5. NFC East (23-40-1) – Selection for annual Pete Rozelle Award – issued to NFL’s worst division easiest B-10 selection since double shots on New Year’s Eve…Overall divisional record worst since Tijuana, Jaurez, Tecate and Mexicali combined for 3-10-27 mark in NFL’s Amigo Division in 1953 …Next Loss: 2021

6. Cincinnati Bengals (4-11-1; lost to Baltimore 38-3) – Late season two (2)-game-win skid enough to knock Bengals out of natural habitat, the B-10 medal stand…Consistency important to Bengals, who are bringing back head coach in hopes of shedding Worst Team Never To Win B-10 Title label in 2021…Next Loss: 2021.

7. Detroit Lions (5-11; lost to Minnesota 37-35) – Thought not as bad as they’ve been in the past, Lions in final B-10 survey due to obscure B-10 bylaw stating former 0-16 B-10 champs entitled to final ranking anytime they lose last four (4) games in a season affected by pandemic…Next Loss: 2021

8. Carolina Panthers (5-11; lost to New Orleans 33-7) – Despite complete throttling in finale, bad-but-not-bad-enough the story for Panthers, as wins over Lions, Washington prevented season-ending eleven (11)-game skid, coveted spot on final B-10 medal stand…Next Loss: 2021

10. NFL Hey guys, only one (1) tie game this year, but that is one (1) too many…This seems pretty basic, but please do whatever is required to ensure every game has a winner from now on. 

Editor’s Note: The Bottom Ten/Worst of 2020 column will move next week.

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