The Bottom Ten/NFL Week 18
Valued Readers, The Bottom Ten is free this season. Enjoy. Or else.
The Bottom Ten/NFL Week 18
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
Count on the Jacksonville Jaguars to make it easy for your Bottom Ten pollsters in the race for sport’s most hallowed trophy – The Dan Henning Trophy, symbolic of NFL Bottom Ten supremacy.
In a year when the winless win and even the NFC East will, eventually, crown a champion, the Jaguars’ consistency in losing 14 consecutive games have kept them atop the Bottom Ten throne.
But veteran Bottom Ten fan(s) know there’s still work to do as the battle for the final, coveted, spots on the Bottom Ten medal stand will probably come down to the final turnovers and false start.
This week’s fiasco as the nags limp past the sixteenth pole:
The Daily Dose/Tuesday, December 29, 2020
The Daily Dose/December 29, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
Leading Off
A listing of some things.
Leading Off will return after the first of the year.
Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually.
The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow has a heart. Today’s Diary.
Let me tell you something, if you’re paying cash for a room at zero-dark-thirty something ain’t right, something she acknowledged when she thanked me for my courtesy and said it had been, was, a tuff nite…Well, I’m here to gouge you for every possible dollar in ski season, of course, but ol’ Sparrow immediately took pity, announcing he had made a mistake with the rate and it was actually $129, plus tax and not the aforementioned $189…
The Regular Guys/Chapter 26 – It’s the final show for Lenny and Larry.
Just like they knew when it was time to call it a day, The Regular Guys knew when it was time to end their final show. They had played for just over two hours, thirty minutes longer than allowed under terms of their contract with Caesars Palace but both Lenny and Larry highly doubted there would be any sanctions for this.
When the time came Lenny and Larry faced each other and smiled.
“I guess this is it, partner,” Lenny said.
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———
On This Date
The long march to today.
In 1989 – Writer and dissident Vaclav Havel is elected the first post-Communist president of Czechoslovakia. Havel would serve until the dissolution of Czechoslovakia in 1992 and then was the first president of the Czech Republic until 2003. Long a dissident, Havel had been in and out of Czech prisons, including a stretch of almost four years from 1979-83 and his Civic Forum Party had played a major role in toppling Communism in 1989.
In 1997 – Bubba Wells of the Dallas Mavericks establishes a new NBA record for the fewest minutes required to foul out of a game in a 111-105 loss to the Chicago Bulls. Wells received six personal fouls and was disqualified in three minutes, breaking the record of five minutes established in 1956 by Dick Farley of the Syracuse Nationals. Wells’ record – part of a strategy to send Dennis Rodman to the free-throw line – still stands.
In 1962 – The Tornados are at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 for the second of three consecutive weeks with Telstar. The song also went to #1 in Ireland, Belgium and their native Great Britain and also peaked at #5 on Billboard’s soul chart and only a #63 hit the following prevented the group from being an ultimate one-hit wonder, an act whose only Hot 100 appearance went to #1. The song was named after a telecommunications satellite that had been launched in May.
Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.
…he who has nothing to lose can afford all risks.
Harriet Beecher Stowe
Uncle Tom’s Cabin
Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar.
The first NFL player to have at least 20 touchdowns in a season was Lenny Moore of the Baltimore Colts, who had 20 in 1964.
Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.
Who holds the NBA record for fouling out the most times in a season? – Answer next time!
The Daily Dose/Monday, December 28
The Daily Dose/December 28, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
Leading Off
A listing of some things.
Leading Off will return after the first of the year.
Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually.
The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow has the latest from the Health Desk.
I went to the nearby grocery store afterward for some veggies…For some reason, green peppers have been kind of skanky lately, but today there were in fine form, and the broccoli and celery looked good, too…I’ve been on this regime for a couple of months now and recently I’ve started taking ginger supplements, too, and none of this one a day with a meal crap, either…Based on some unscientific research, I determined that six grams a day would be good, so I take six capsules twice a day and between those two things the off-and-on constant thirst I had is gone and ol’ Sparrow is back to drinking a normal amount of water again…Since I am drinking less water, I am not waking up to use the can as much as I used to, tho yours truly is still good for one time a sleep session.
The Regular Guys/Chapter 25 – The Regular Guys announce their retirement.
Larry and Ann Shelton sat on a bench in Jackson Square talking. He, Lenny, Ann and Larry’s current fling had been in town for a few days on a short vacation. Since it was before 2 p.m. Lenny was still sleeping and Larry’s current fling was off enjoying a spa treatment.
Larry and Ann had enjoyed a leisurely breakfast together, and, then, went for a walk before settling in on a bench on a gorgeous southern morning. It was near the bench where they had discussed Rachel Rachmaninov’s marriage proposal years earlier.
“I think I’m ready to call it a day, Ann,” Larry said.
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Click here for complimentary chapters of all of Gaylon’s books.
It’s easy reading on any device.
Columns, books, shopping lists, click here to get in on the laughs.
4Ever & Ever ($8.99) and monthly ($2.99) plans available.
———
On This Date
The long march to today.
In 1918 – Constance Markievicz becomes the first woman elected to the House of Commons of the United Kingdom. Markiievicz received 66% of the vote for a constituency in Dublin and was actually in prison at the time for having taken part in the 1916 Easter Uprising protesting British rule in Ireland. Like other members of the Sinn Fein Party, she declined to take her seat, preferring to serve in the Dail, a unicameral parliament of the Irish Republic that would declare its independence from Great Britain the following year.
In 2003 – Priest Holmes of the Kansas City Chiefs establishes a new NFL record for most touchdowns in a season in a 31-3 victory over the Chicago Bears. Holmes had two touchdown runs, giving him 27 on the year, breaking the record of 26 established by Marshall Faulk of the St Louis Rams in 2000. Homes’ record was broken by Shaun Alexander of Seattle in 2005 (28) and the record is now 31 by LaDainian Tomlinson of San Diego in 2006. All 27 of Holmes’ touchdowns came via the rush.
In 1974 – Elton John is at #1 on the Billboard 200 album chart for the fifth of ten consecutive weeks with Elton John’s Greatest Hits. It was the fifth of seven #1 albums for John and the album also went to #1 in Canada, Australia and Great Britain. Because it overlapped three chart years, was Billboard’s biggest album of 1975 and its 99th biggest of 1976. Though now out of print, the album has sold over 17 million copies in the US and over 24 million worldwide.
Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.
He was by no means finished with the chronicle of his life, any more than he was finished with living it.
Gore Vidal
Julian
Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar.
The phenomenon of us always seeing the same side of the moon here on Earth is known as tidal locking. It happens when a moon orbits around its host planet at the same speed at which it rotates on its axis and is actually rather common in the Solar System.
Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.
Who was the first NFL player to score more than 20 touchdowns in a season? – Answer next time!
The Daily Dose/Sunday, December 27, 2020
The Daily Dose/December 27, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
The Sunday Bottom 5/Special Year-End Edition
A listing of some things.
1. COVID-19 – Pandemic of the Year!!!…Comes out of left field to cause no shortage of death and ruin…Question: if humanity could muster a vaccine for this within a year, how come I’m still bald???
2. President Donald Trump – Good riddance to the lying sexual predator who believes the moon is part of Mars…And that the Continental Army won the Revolution by securing British airports…And that he is actually a good president…The blood on his hands for an incompetent coronavirus response will never be washed off.
3. President-Elect Joe Biden – Good luck as he prepares to take over a government and country so partisan, fractured and bickering it makes the 60s seem like a show of unity…He knows, however, that the moon is not part of Mars and that there weren’t airports in 1776, so already country better off.
4. Billboard Charts – Quite a year…There’s a new record holder for most weeks at #1 on any chart, a second song went to #1 on the Hot 100 for a second time in a separate chart run and there’s a new record-holder for most #1 songs on the soul chart…And we bored you with every single one.
5. USA! USA! – Sunday Bottom 5 pollsters “pretty sure” that had US citizens transcended their government – and themselves – and collectively started wearing masks and treating everyone like they had COVID back in March, this would all be over now.
Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually.
The Diary of a Nobody – Always a fave entry: The Year in Sleep. Today’s Diary.
All told, ol’ Sparrow spent 2,435 hours sleeping in 2020, about 28% of the year…God bless all of you.
The Regular Guys/Chapter 24 – Lenny and Larry return to the stage.
Larry walked out wearing the clown mask Special Agents Rider and Champion had given him as a souvenir of his kidnapping, characteristically holding his hands out with the palms up. Lenny didn’t even bother going center stage, immediately getting the hell out of the way and letting the crowd welcome Larry back.
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Click here for complimentary chapters of all of Gaylon’s books.
It’s easy reading on any device.
Columns, books, shopping lists, click here to get in on the laughs.
4Ever & Ever ($8.99) and monthly ($2.99) plans available.
———
On This Date
The long march to today.
In 1968 – Man’s first voyage to the moon ends when Apollo 8 – carrying Frank Borman, James Lovell and William Anders – lands in the North Pacific Ocean. The crew had lifted off on December 21 and shortly thereafter became the first humans to leave lower Earth orbit and on December 24 became the first to orbit the moon and see its far side. None of the crew would walk on the moon. Borman and Anders were both on their last spaceflight, while Lovell was on Apollo 13, which suffered damage en route and returned to Earth without landing.
In 1998 – Emmit Smith of the Dallas Cowboys establishes a new NFL record for most career touchdowns in a 23-7 win over the Washington Redskins. Smith had two touchdowns breaking the record of 145 touchdowns established by Marcus Allen between 1982-97. Smith would retire after the 2004 season with 175 NFL touchdowns, a mark now good for second on the all-time list behind Jerry Rice’s 208.
In 1975 – The Staple Singers are at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 for the only week with Let’s Do It Again. It was the eighth and final Top 40 hit for the group, their third Top 10 hit and their second #1 song (I’ll Take You There, one week, 1972). Earlier the song had spent two non-consecutive weeks on Billboard’s soul chart and due to overlapping two chart years was Billboard’s 66th biggest song of 1976. The song was written by Curtis Mayfield and was part of the soundtrack to the movie of the same name.
Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.
Performance is manipulation when a leader uses it to display emotions he does not feel and advance causes he does not believe in…Acting only works for a leader if you play yourself.
Richard Brookhiser
George Washington on Leadership
Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar.
Eddy Arnold has 92 Top 10 hits on Billboard’s country chart, the most of any act.
Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.
What is the scientific term that describes why we always see the same side of the moon here on Earth? – Answer next time!
The Diary of a Nobody/December 26
Go ahead and enjoy. It’s Read Free Sunday.
Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…
Saturday, December 26
I report for duty and Assistant Front Desk Manager Q is there and I’m listening to an old radio show that is counting down the biggest hits of 1979 and while I’m in the back office limbering for my night’s work Q recognizes the #4 song and starts singing along…I told him it was #4 for 1979 and asked if he knew what the #1 song of 1979 might be…He said no, so I gave him a hint and said it was the first hit by a band that at the time was compared to the Beatles, a comparison which would turn out to be silly…He still didn’t know and I return to the back office…I clock in and dive in on my labors while Q clocks out before retiring to the lobby couch to await ground transportation.