September 27
The big news is an employee died at work yesterday. It was a cage supervisor named Jim. He was in the second-floor offices above the cage when he had a heart attack. Special Ed and 88Dick responded but reportedly the heart attack was so bad he could’ve had it at his annual physical and it wouldn’t have done him any good. Jim was all of 38.
The Daily Dose/October 13, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience.
Friends, Leading Off will return.
Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually.
The Diary of a Nobody: Sparrow has Morning Coffee Service news.
For the first time in quite a while, the left coffee pot was the first one replaced at Morning Coffee Service (MCS)…Now, specific records aren’t kept – I don’t know why they aren’t kept, knife usage is logged here for Pete’s sake – but it’s been a while…It worked out splendidly, too, as the left pot had enough left to refill the right pot…I’m still not entirely sure if this is in step with either company policy or established county health and safety standards but, on the other hand, I don’t know that they’re not, either.
Backstairs at the Monte Carlo: Gaylon, who is not an EMT, supervises a first aid class given by Brandon, who is.
The classes went well. Brandon is an EMT and has forgotten more first aid than I’ll ever know and all I had to do was sit in the back, drink coffee and throw a tidbit out there every now and then to reinforce that I was in overall command. The class wrapped up around 0300 and I put everything away, filled out the attendant paperwork in the EDR, where I ended up chatting with Princess Emma, whom I hadn’t talked to in weeks.
The Bottom Ten/NCAA Week 7: Vanderbilt takes command in the race for the ESPNCup, presented by COVID-19.
1. Vanderbilt (0-3; lost to South Carolina 41-7)
Mitigating Factors: A B-10 legacy team thanks to strong B-10 runs in Double Aughts, Commodores find first B-10 title theirs for the losing after ascending B-10 throne…Commodores still hampered by turn-of-century decision to merge Athletic, Student Affairs departments as special teams earn 379 penalty yards after Interpretive Dance majors take over kicking game.
FunFact: Commodores 0-3 for second straight year, the fifth time this century, the 12th time since 1969 and, well, you get the idea.
Next Loss: at Missouri
Free Stuff
The same trick the drug dealers use.
Backstairs at the Monte Carlo
Clock in with the graveyard crew of the Monte Carlo Security Department on the glamorous Las Vegas Strip.
Click here for the first two months of the funniest Vegas memoir ever.
Criminals, Courtesans and Constables
Gaylon’s latest novel takes place everywhere from throne rooms to death row.
Click here to read the first four chapters with our compliments.
Click on the button to get 4Ever and Ever access to everything Gaylon: books, columns, tax returns, the whole nine yards, for only $29.99, a steal.
On This Date
The long march to today.
In 2010 – 33 coal miners – know to History as Los 33 – are rescued from a coal mine in northern Chile. Los 33 had spent 69 days trapped 2,300 feet underground and had made two days of emergency rations last 17 days, right up until they were discovered, eventually being rescued via a capsule being lowered through a tunnel bored for the purpose. The miners were generally in good health, though each had lost an average of 18 pounds. In 2013, the investigation into the disaster ended without any charges being filed. The ordeal had begun on August 5.
In 1967 – The American Basketball Association plays its first game, with the Oakland Oaks defeating the Anaheim Amigos 134-129. The ABA had eleven teams that first year and the first ABA title was won by the Pittsburgh Pipers, who defeated the New Orleans Buccaneers 4 games to 3 in the ABA Finals. The New York Nets and the Indiana Pacers were the only teams to win multiple ABA titles, each winning two. The ABA merged with the NBA in 1976 with the Nets, Pacers, Denver Nuggets and San Antonio Spurs joining the NBA.
In 1979 – Michael Jackson is at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 for the only week with Don’t Stop Till You Get Enough. It was the second of 13 #1 songs as a solo act for Jackson – a figure that includes Say Say Say with Paul McCartney – and only his second Top 40 hit since Ben went to #1 in 1972. The song went to #1 in eight other countries, including Norway and Denmark, peaked at #3 in Great Britain and also spent five weeks at #1 on Billboard’s soul chart. The song was written by Jackson and produced by Jackson and Quincy Jones.
Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.
…for to go against conscience is neither right nor safe.
Martin Luther
Imperial Diet, Worms, Germany
April 18, 1521
Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know.
Leonid Brezhnev succeeded Nikita Kruschev as general secretary of the Communist Party and leader of the Soviet Union.
Today’s Stumper
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar.
How many ABA teams were in the same city with the same name for the league’s entire existence? – Answer next time!
Read Free Fortnight (RFF) rolls on…
Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…
Monday, October 12
Rather slow tonight and for one of the few times this month not sold out…I did have a 0100 check-in, a girl who had called and asked about a room about midnight or so…She was loud in person as she’d been on the phone, too…When she was in lobby I half wanted to tell her to pipe down and on the phone the only reason to keep the handset anywhere near my face was to transmit my own voice.
The Bottom Ten is on the house this year.
The Bottom Ten/NCAA Week 7
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
It’s only the second fresh Bottom Ten of the season, but already chaos reigns in the race for the ESPNCup as two-thirds of the Week 6 medal stands changes hands and Bottom Ten legacy team Vanderbilt ascends the throne for what Bottom Ten pollsters are “pretty sure” is the first time in “like, ages and stuff.
It’s an eclectic mix this week, as faves from the Double Aughts like Vanderbilt, Florida International, North Texas and Louisiana-Monroe – one-half of the hilarious Louisiana-Famous Dead Person entry with UL-Lafayette – team up with exciting newcomers like Charlotte and South Florida.
September 17
Passed a very leisurely night and thanks to a CPR class I didn’t hit the floor until 0500 or so.
And I didn’t even have to teach the class, merely supervise Brandon and Kevin from swing shift, who were making their debuts as Monte Carlo CPR instructors.
The Daily Dose/October 12, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience.
BROAD HISTORICAL CONTEXT: Today is Columbus Day and we’ll forgive you if it slipped your mind because it slips ours every year, though it should be noted we keep odd hours and holidays hold little meaning for us. It commemorates Columbus’ landing in the New World in 1492 in what are now the Bahamas and has a long history in this country but its usefulness has passed and it has come time to replace it.
Ladies And Gentlemen Of The Jury: What to replace it with? Well, there are some options, for example, with Juneteenth being celebrated more and more, there has been some support for that being a holiday.
Get Your Official Daily Dose Policy Right Here: We certainly support the abolition of slavery being a holiday, but we can do better than Juneteenth.
Dry, Technical Matter: It surprises some to find this out, but Juneteenth doesn’t mark the day slavery ended in the United States, it merely marks the day in 1865 Texans got around to telling their slaves they were free. They had actually been freed two-and-a-half years earlier, on January 1, 1863, when the Emancipation Proclamation took effect.
And You Wonder Why You Don’t Get Invited To More Parties: Even after Juneteenth slavery was still legal in Kentucky and Delaware. It would end until the passage of the 13th Amendment the following December.
A Suggestion: What we could do is have Abolition Day, or Emancipation Day or what have you, in February, which is the month the great abolitionist Frederick Douglass was born. There’s some flexibility, too, because Douglass was never entirely certain of the exact date of his birth.
Dry, Technical Matter II: Some trot out making 9/11 a national holiday, but why would we want to make a day of celebration out of a great tragedy?
Yeah, Yeah, Whatever: We’ve always thought July 20, the date Apollo 11 landed on the moon, would be a splendid date for a holiday, but we appear to be the only ones to favor that.
The Bottom Line: It’s time for Columbus Day to go. We can do better.
Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually.
The Diary of a Nobody: Sparrow doesn’t wake up to use the can.
The big news is yours truly slept straight thru…I am not making that up: there was not one trip to the can, something that hasn’t happened since the Revolution…Key has been the raw veggies I’m been eating the past few days…Some broccoli, celery, green peppers plus, sometimes, a can of peas.
Backstairs at the Monte Carlo: 77Rick and Gaylon deal with a drunk high roller.
All the while the A has been dropping the names of pretty senior casino hosts so 77Rick calls the CSM, a nice, quiet Italian guy named Tom and Tom shows up at the front desk, talks to the guy a bit and then talks to 77Rick, evidently saying this guy is a really good customer and we’d hate to lose him and is there anything we can do?
Of course there is. We’re a casino, in business to take people’s money, and, if the CSM goes to bat for you, and if your crime isn’t genocide, you’re going to get a second chance. So we told the guy to go back to his room, sleep it off and come back tomorrow.
Free Stuff
The same trick the drug dealers use.
Backstairs at the Monte Carlo
Clock in with the graveyard crew of the Monte Carlo Security Department on the glamorous Las Vegas Strip.
Click here for the first two months of the funniest Vegas memoir ever.
Criminals, Courtesans and Constables
Gaylon’s latest novel takes place everywhere from throne rooms to death row.
Click here to read the first four chapters with our compliments.
Click on the button to get started to read The Diary of a Nobody, Backstairs at the Monte Carlo and Criminals, Courtesans and Constables for only $4.99, a steal.
On This Date
The long march to today.
In 1964 – The Soviet Union launches Voskhod I, its seventh manned mission. The flight had two historical firsts: it was the first mission with more than one person and the three men were the first to launch without spacesuits because the capsule was designed for two people and there wasn’t room for them. The crew landed safely the following day and History is not entirely clear on why the mission was cut short. It could have been because Soviet Premier Nikita Kruschev was being removed from power while the mission was in space, or because three people quickly grew weary of living in a two-person capsule.
In 1986 – The Boston Red Sox defeat the California Angels 7-6 in eleven innings in Game 5 of the American League Championship Series at Anaheim Stadium. The Angels lead 5-4 in the bottom of the ninth inning and are one strike away from winning the pennant when Dave Henderson hits a two-run home run to give the Red Sox a 6-5 lead. The Angels tied it in the bottom of the ninth and the Red Sox got the go-ahead run on a Henderson sacrifice fly. The Red Sox would sweep the final two games in Boston to win the American League pennant.
In 1960 – Larry Verne is at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the only week with Mr Custer. The song was a novelty song about a soldier who didn’t want to fight the Battle of Little Bighorn. The song spent ten weeks in the Top 40, including three weeks at #4 before moving to #3 and then the top spot. The song also went to #1 in Canada and peaked at #9 on Billboard’s soul chart. Only a #75 hit later in the year prevented Verne from being an ultimate one-hit wonder, an act whose only chart single hits #1.
Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.
Only when we begin to trust ourselves do we begin to live.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know.
The initial period of instruction at the Naval Academy was five years. The first and last years were in the classroom, the middle three years were spent at sea.
Today’s Stumper
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar.
Who succeeded Nikita Kruschev as head of the Soviet Union? – Answer next time!
It’s Read Free Fortnight at The Diary of a Nobody. Please use this power for good, not evil.
Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…
Sunday, October 11
I reported for duty at the hotel and realized I’d forgotten my glasses…I am not making that up…The problem was ol’ Sparrow neglected to switch them from the flannel shirt he was going to wear in to the jacket he ended up wearing in.
September 16
Even though I was Mary 1 last night, I got my share of action in the casino.
It all started as I was wrapping up 482. There was a report of a guy in the food court bathrooms with his head in a toilet. We were so shorthanded there was no one available to respond, so Ted sends 88TonyB to investigate. Since I’m 10-8, too, and the EDR is not all that far from the food court bathrooms, I announce that I am on the way as well.
The Daily Dose/October 11, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
Friends, your Daily Dose is taking the day off.
It is, however, Read Free Sunday for the daily features so go, enjoy them now.
Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually.
The Diary of a Nobody: Sparrow has the latest from the morning coffee service creamer rack.
The hazelnut and French vanilla creamers have changed sides again…It’s still half-and-half up front for three rows and the other two file back from there but someone – there are no suspects – decided to do some remodeling and the blue French vanilla creamers are now on the left, the brown hazelnut creamers on the left…I have some zero clue why anybody is doing this and even less interest in finding out, so there won’t be an investigation.
Backstairs at the Monte Carlo: Gaylon reminisces about his time in the hotel.
Which is all right. Sure, there was a time when the hotel defined who I was, but that time has passed, though, inevitably, through my co-founding of the International Henry Units, my mentoring of X-Ray and my legendary Foot on the Desk percentages, I will always be associated with the hotel, sort of like Paul McCartney is always associated with Wings, even though he’s enjoyed a great solo career.
Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…
Saturday, October 10
I don’t know if this is good or bad, but one result of no longer serving our freebie breakfast – besides ol’ Sparrow not having to set it up anymore – is there are packages of muffins and cartons of milk everywhere…Yogurt, too…We had just had a load-in of breakfast stuff a couple of days before the restaurant opened and could probably have gone another few days without running out.
