It’s Read Free Sunday at The Diary of a Nobody.
Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…
Saturday, September 26
The big news is the new freezer at the sundry stand has been installed…It’s a bit noisier than you’re looking for, but that’s only in relation to the old one and it’s not as if you can hear it throughout the whole goddamn lobby.
Q: Is it Read Free Sunday at Backstairs at the Monte Carlo?
A: You bet it is.
August 3
Another night chronicled chronologically!
2225: Get out of my car in the employee lot, having parked next to X-Ray. We don’t see each other much anymore, especially since X-Ray is picking up a lot of OMP’s Henry 1 time, and we declared an official meeting of the International Henry Units was in progress and used the time to catch up with each other.
The Daily Dose/September 26, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience.
Leading Off will return.
Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually.
The Diary of a Nobody: Sparrow gets the first walk in with his new reflector vest.
Got the first walk with my new reflector vest in this morning…I field-tested it in the cabin before heading out, turning off all the lights, draping it over a chair and shining the flashlight on it and while it wasn’t the greatest reflection in the history of safety, it will do.
The rule, for now, is going to be anytime the vest is worn the Post Office Route will be used because, except for the first few blocks heading out and heading in, it is mostly sidewalk…What we don’t need is to be taking the Fairgrounds or River route and come across a driver who either is not paying enuff attention to see me or is so startled he loses control and plows right into me.
Backstairs at the Monte Carlo: In the Upset of the Year, Gaylon makes a pest of himself in briefing.
88TonyB, in a moment of heightened sensitivity, said he had no fucking idea how many shuttles there would be and suggested we refer goddamn employees to their fucking supervisors because we weren’t going spend all our time answering their lame-ass questions.
That’s when I swung into action.
“Tony,” I said, raising my hand. “Any word on how many shuttles they’re going to be running from MGM to Monte Carlo?”
Free Stuff
The same trick the drug dealers use.
Backstairs at the Monte Carlo
Clock in with the graveyard crew of the Monte Carlo Security Department on the glamorous Las Vegas Strip.
Click here for the first two months of the funniest Vegas memoir ever.
Criminals, Courtesans and Constables
Gaylon’s latest novel takes place everywhere from throne rooms to death row.
Click here to read the first four chapters with our compliments.
Click on the button to get started to read The Diary of a Nobody, Backstairs at the Monte Carlo and Criminals, Courtesans and Constables for only $4.99, a steal.
On This Date
The long march to today.
In 1777 – The British Army occupies Philadelphia in the American Revolution, a maneuver that followed victory over the Americans at the Battle of Brandywine a couple of weeks earlier. It was the custom of the time that capturing the enemy’s capital meant victory, however American victories in New York brought the French into the war and the British evacuated their troops and sent them to New York the following year.
In 1926 – The New York Yankees and the St Louis Browns establish a new major league record for the shortest doubleheader and an American League record for the shortest game in 6-1 and 6-2 wins by the Browns. The first game took 1 hour and 12 minutes and the second game 55 minutes for a combined 2 hours and 7 minutes. Browns’ player-manager George Sisler, normally a first baseman and an outfielder, got his third and final career save in the second game in his last game as manager. The games had little meaning, as the Yankees had already clinched the American League pennant.
In 1987 – Whitney Houston is at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 for the first of two consecutive weeks with Didn’t We Almost Have It All. The song also went to #1 in Canada and peaked at #14 in Great Britain and at #2 on Billboard’s soul chart. It was the seventh chart single for Houston and her fifth consecutive #1 song, a streak that would later be increased to seven, an all-time Hot 100 record that still stands.
Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.
I grant you there are gods, but they don’t care what men do, else it would go well with the good and ill with the bad – which rarely happens. – Ennius (239 BC – 169 BC), Roman writer
Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know.
Roy Orbison had three #1 songs in Great Britain: Only the Lonely, two weeks, 1960, It’s Over, two weeks, 1964 and Oh, Pretty Woman, two weeks, 1964.
Today’s Stumper
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar.
When was the other time the British occupied the capital of the United States? – Answer next time!
The Daily Dose/September 25, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience.
EXTRA, EXTRA, READ ALL ABOUT IT: The headline caught our eye: NBA players whining about a grand jury in Louisville declining to charge the officers involved in killing Breonna Taylor during a failed drug raid last March. Taylor was killed when officers entered her home and her boyfriend, thinking they were intruders, fired and the cops fired back.
Dry, Technical Matter: One officer was charged with, in essence, being a bad shot for discharging his weapon and endangering others without hitting anyone.
Back On Message: Dear NBA Players: thanks for playing, but you no longer have any street cred in this matter. You did when you bravely refused to take the court after the Kenosha shooting of a black man who was shot in the back by police for having the nerve to reach inside his vehicle, but you lost it when you chose to resume playing and make money and chase titles a couple of days later.
Get Your Official Daily Dose Policy Right Here: If drugs were legal, this never happens because drugs become a mere article to be sold, like coffee or video games. Drug dealers go from being criminals to vendors looking to move some product there is a strong demand for.
The Bottom Line: LeBron and company, you can’t protest when it’s convenient for you. You can say this and you can say that, you can put slogans on the back of every jersey in the league, but until you let your protests actually start hitting you in the wallet or the history books, you will be nothing more than voices in the wilderness taking The Man’s money.
Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually.
The Diary of a Nobody: Sparrow has the latest MPG figure for the new ride.
Speaking of the new ride: 41.095 MPG!!!
I am not making that up: our third 40+ figure and the highest ever…41’s my lucky number, too, the number I wore (mostly) while playing sports, tho how that can possibly apply to this is not immediately clear.
Backstairs at the Monte Carlo: Eric from day shift and Gaylon exchange some funny line.
The first funny came when we were clocking in and Eric happened to be whining about how short-handed they are on dayshift, which they’re not. At least not as shorthanded as we are.
“What,” I said, mockingly. “Are you down to eleven Charlie units?”
Eleven Charlie units were what they had had the day before; it’s not fully staffed, but it is a pretty good number.
“Eleven Charlie units,” he said dismissively. “We haven’t had eleven Charlie units since…since…”
“Since when, Tuesday?”
Free Stuff
The same trick the drug dealers use.
Backstairs at the Monte Carlo
Clock in with the graveyard crew of the Monte Carlo Security Department on the glamorous Las Vegas Strip.
Click here for the first two months of the funniest Vegas memoir ever.
Criminals, Courtesans and Constables
Gaylon’s latest novel takes place everywhere from throne rooms to death row.
Click here to read the first four chapters with our compliments.
Click on the button to get started to read The Diary of a Nobody, Backstairs at the Monte Carlo and Criminals, Courtesans and Constables for only $4.99, a steal.
On This Date
The long march to today.
In 1690 – The first newspaper – as opposed to a single-sheet broadside – is published in the Americas. Called Publick Occurrences Both Forreign and Domestick, it was published in Boston and was intended to be a monthly newspaper, unless “…any Glut of Occurrences happen, oftener.” It was shut down four days later by the colonial government which noted its “…high Resentment and Disallowance of said Pamphlet…”. It consisted of four pages and the lead story concerned local Indians giving thanks for a good harvest,
In 1964 – The collapse of the Philadelphia Phillies – once 6.5 games up with twelve to play – continues in a 7-5, 12-inning defeat to the Milwaukee Braves, their fifth straight defeat. The Phillies tied it 3-3 with two runs in the eighth and both teams got two runs in the 10th inning before the Braves scored two in the top of the 12th. The Phillies ended the day 1.5 games up on the Cincinnati Reds and 2.5 games up on the eventual pennant winner, the St Louis Cardinals. The Phillies would fall out of first place two days later and would end up losing ten straight games.
In 1964 – Roy Orbison is at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 for the first of three consecutive weeks with Oh, Pretty Woman. It was the 17th of 23 Top 40 solo hits for Orbison and his second and final #1 song (Running Scared, one week, 1961). The song went to #1 in ten other countries, including New Zealand, Norway and Great Britain and was Billboard’s fourth biggest song of the year. The song returned to the Hot 100 in 1982 when a version by Van Halen peaked at #12 and a live version of the song won Orbison the Grammy Award, posthumously, for Best Male Pop Vocal Performance in 1991.
Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.
His images are unforgettable because he was conceiving new forms and discovering new meanings, not just dutifully illustrating a predetermined text. He works by instinct…his independence of mind opening up new possibilities. – Miles Unger, Michelangelo: A Life In Six Masterpieces.
Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know.
John Jay served as chief justice of the United States from October 1789 until June 1795, when he resigned to become governor of New York.
Today’s Stumper
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar.
How many #1 songs did Roy Orbison have in Great Britain? – Answer next time!
The Daily Dose/September 24, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience.
USA! USA!: One of the privileges of life in the third decade of the 21st century – no matter where you live on the planet – is having a front seat to the death of the American experiment. Now, us humans tend not to recognize history when we’re living it, but watching America now is like watching those made-for-TV-movies we were subjected to growing up. Every day we see fresh scenes about a country on its last legs.
The United Banana Republic Of America: Currently we are at the incredible stage that at one time in the American Experiment would have been utterly unfathomable:
A sitting president running for reelection who gives no guarantees he will cede power if he loses!
This happened yesterday, and this wasn’t the first time President Trump declined to give such assurances. He’s been doing it for a while, now.
Fly In The Ointment: This is how countries die: a leader throws nonsense like this out there and – as when African dictators take power – no one says no and in short order it becomes a legitimate part of the American conversation.
This is neither an acceptable nor a legitimate part of the American conversation!
Dry, Technical Matter: We must say no, friends. If Trump earns reelection all right, bully for him. If he does not though, he must go and the time is now for every American, from Vice President Mike Pence on down, to start acknowledging this. So far, though, Trump is commanding the loyalty rich bullies throughout history have commanded, and the only Republican to have the nerve to speak up against this is Utah Senator Mitt Romney.
Ooopsies: Friends, our country is dying. From 30 years of continuous war, to social divides that are making the 1960s seem like a show of national unity to a president who is a lying sexual predator who believes the moon is part of Mars, those who believe America has some future date with peace and prosperity are deluding themselves.
The Bottom Line: America right now is at the midpoint between the influence we once had and the oblivion that awaits us. In 40 days we will herald to ourselves and the world whether we are content with this or whether we are willing to make some changes.
Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually.
The Diary of a Nobody: A couple of guests at the hotel annoy Sparrow.
The other guy who annoyed me was the fat older loser who ate his cereal at the counter that had the cereal and muffin racks…The wizard pulled up a stool from the computer area, moved the apples and sat down like he owned the place…Look, you can’t eat in the lobby area, it’s a state law or hotel policy or some crap like that, but he was almost done and it would have been pointless to ask him to leave because people like this will just start whining and making excuses as if this were all my fault and I’ll just beat the snot out of him and get fired and nobody needs that…I mean, coming in on time, every night doesn’t get you out of beating guests.
Backstairs at the Monte Carlo: Fred and Gaylon give a lesson in courtesy.
“Well, sir, Fred says you were and his opinion is the one that matters.” My tone was so sweet you could put it in your morning coffee. There’s a reason for this. One, a confrontational attitude will get you a confrontation right now, which probably means a report and, two, Fred and I are going to win the argument. The guest can’t throw us out, after all. If we say you gotta go, you gotta go. It’s that simple. But you can assert your position without getting all worked up.
We get the guy walking and soon we’re out the poker doors and I keep the charm level set at Cary Grant and all he wants, really, is to be listened to for a few minutes and while we ignore his call to consult video coverage on this one, eventually we get him off property and he even ended up shaking our hands.
Free Stuff
The same trick the drug dealers use.
Backstairs at the Monte Carlo
Clock in with the graveyard crew of the Monte Carlo Security Department on the glamorous Las Vegas Strip.
Click here for the first two months of the funniest Vegas memoir ever.
Criminals, Courtesans and Constables
Gaylon’s latest novel takes place everywhere from throne rooms to death row.
Click here to read the first four chapters with our compliments.
Click on the button to get started to read The Diary of a Nobody, Backstairs at the Monte Carlo and Criminals, Courtesans and Constables for only $4.99, a steal.
On This Date
The long march to today.
In 1789 – President George Washington signs the Judiciary Act of 1789, three days after its passage by Congress. The Act established the federal judiciary that was authorized, but not detailed, by the new US Constitution. The Act set the number of supreme court justices at six and established 13 judicial districts as well as the office of the attorney general, plus United States attorneys and marshals for each district. The first attorney general, Edmund Randolph, took office on Sept 26 and Chief Justice John Jay took office on Oct 19.
In 1938 – Don Budge of the United States becomes the first tennis player to win the Grand Slam winning the US National Championship – now the US Open – in New York City. Budge defeated Gene Mako in the final 6-3, 6-8, 6-2, 6-1 and earlier in the year he had also won what are now the French and Australian opens and Wimbledon, which he had also won in 1937. Budge turned pro the following month and would later injure his shoulder in the Air Force, an injury that never completely healed.
In 1955 – Chuck Berry is at #1 on Billboard’s R&B Best Sellers in Stores chart – a predecessor to today’s soul chart – for the fifth of nine consecutive weeks with Maybellene. It was the first chart single for Berry and his first of three #1 songs on the soul chart. The song also peaked at #5 on Billboard’s Best Sellers in Stores pop chart and is regarded by some as one of the most influential records of the Rock Era. The song was inspired by an old western swing song called Ida Red, popularized by Bob Wills and his Texas Playboys in 1938.
Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.
The tragedy of life is not that man loses, but that he almost wins. – Heywood Braun
Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know.
Conway Twitty’s first #1 song on a Billboard chart was It’s Only Make Believe, which spent two non-consecutive weeks at #1 on the Hot 100 in November 1958.
Today’s Stumper
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar.
How long did John Jay serve as chief justice of the United States? – Answer next time!
