The Diary of a Nobody/September 14
Backstairs at the Monte Carlo/July 12
The Daily Dose/Monday, September 14, 2020
The Daily Dose/September 14, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
Leading Off
Notes from around our human experience.
Leading Off will return.
Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually.
The Diary of a Nobody: Sparrow deals with a loud room.
109 didn’t stop, tho…They’re back at it…I knock again and I have some size and, at need, a bearing of command that would have caused Hitler to sport wood and this time I add if I have to come back they are going to go.
Aichiwawa…Everyone took note because they knew when the tablets were coming down from Mount Sinai, even in English and there were no further problems with that room…There were no complaints and it was quiet when I walked past delivering folios.
Backstairs at the Monte Carlo: Gaylon has a really busy shift. Well, no he doesn’t.
One of the pleasures of Saturday night is it’s the last day of my work week, and, since I stay up all day Sunday, I am authorized unlimited caffeine. So I made a fresh pot of coffee and enjoyed a cup sitting outside and a very pretty pit boss named Julie came out to have a smoke and a chat and before I knew it I was halfway through the shift and all I’d really done was take some chips to blackjack tables, ate lunch, and sat down.
Free Stuff
The same trick the drug dealers use.
Backstairs at the Monte Carlo: Clock in with the graveyard crew of the Monte Carlo Security Department on the glamorous Las Vegas Strip. – Click here for the first two months of the funniest Vegas memoir ever.
Criminals, Courtesans and Constables: Gaylon’s latest novel takes place everywhere from throne rooms to death row. – Click here to read the first four chapters with our compliments.
Click on the button to get started to read The Diary of a Nobody, Backstairs at the Monte Carlo and Criminals, Courtesans and Constables for only $4.99, a steal.
On This Date
The long march to today.
In 1959 – Man reaches the surface of another celestial body for the first time when the Soviet Union’s Luna 2 crashes into the moon. The mission had lifted off on September 12 and impacted the moon at a speed of 7,400 mph, landing about 94 miles northwest of where Apollo 15 eventually landed. A January attempt by the Soviets missed the moon by 3,700 miles, and attempt that itself followed three unnamed, unsuccessful missions.
In 1913 – The New York Giants establish a new major league record for most hits in a shutout loss in a 9-inning game in a 7-0 loss to the Chicago Cubs. The Giants had 14 hits – 13 singles and a double – and left eleven men on base. Larry Chaney was the Cubs pitcher and he is listed in the record book for most hits allowed in a shutout win by a pitcher. Both records were tied in 1928 when Milt Gaston of the Washington Senators allowed 14 hits in a 9-0 win over the Cleveland Indians in the second game of a doubleheader.
In 1974 – Eric Clapton is at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 for the only week with I Shot the Sheriff. It was the second of 16 Top 40 solo hits for Clapton and remains his only #1 song. It was the fifth act under which Clapton had hit the charts, having previously hit as a member of the Yardbirds, Cream, John Lennon and the Plastic Ono Band and Derek and the Dominos. The song also went to #1 in Canada and New Zealand and peaked at #9 in his native Great Britain. The song also peaked at #33 on Billboard’s soul chart and remains Clapton’s only soul chart appearance.
Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.
It was she who developed the home, slowly adding man to the list of her domesticated animals… – Will Durant, The Story of Civilization, Vol. I: Our Oriental Heritage
Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know.
Bert Blyleven broke Robin Roberts single-season record for home runs allowed. Roberts had allowed 46 home runs in 1956.
Today’s Stumper
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar.
What was Eric Clapton’s biggest hit as a member of a group? – Answer next time!
The Diary of a Nobody/September 13
Backstairs at the Monte Carlo/July 10
The Daily Dose/Sunday, September 13, 2020
The Daily Dose/September 13, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
The Sunday Bottom 5
The very best of the very worst of the week that was
1. Democrats – With lying sexual predator who believes the moon is part of Mars as the incumbent, noted political party should be looking forward to naming score in November…They are not and are mucking this up as – paced by candidate with charisma of toothpick – election is still up in the air.
2. MLB – Beer league rules implemented for 2020 permit first-ever game-ending, leadoff sacrifice fly…Bottom of 10th inning started with runner on second who advances to third and scores on fly ball to outfield…What’s next, doubleheaders with 7-inning games?
3. College Football – Some teams are playing – betting a kid’s death against millions in TV money – while some teams – betting player on another team will die against no TV money – aren’t, a brilliant example of NCAA leadership…Sunday Bottom 5 pollsters “pretty sure” some kid is going die this season and that not playing will be looked back on as prudent call.
4. Lauren Daigle – Singer’s latest hit, You Say, extends record for most weeks on top of any Billboard singles chart with 101st non-consecutive week at #1 on Hot Christian Songs chart….Dolly Parton, of all people, is in runner-up spot with There Was Jesus, a duet with Zach Williams, whoever that is.
5, President Trump Fact Check – The 5-hole staple, click here for latest falsehoods from Liar-in-Chief, who actually had nerve to compare himself to Churchill…Only possible way Trump could be compared to Churchill if he also drank Johnnie Walker Black, but Trump doesn’t drink at all, much less in quantities Churchill did.
Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually.
The Diary of a Nobody: Sparrow shows he is on board with human rights.
Q had a couple of admin things for me to do when I reported for duty…The first was to sign something acknowledging that I support the home office’s human rights policy…I am not making that up…A company of assorted hotel franchises has a human rights policy…I fully support it, of course, and I signed with relish…
Backstairs at the Monte Carlo: Redneck Randy has a funny line.
It was so slow last night all three of us responded to a boring, routine call as if it were the Watts riots. It was about 0515 or so, in the short term parking lot, where there was some very minor damage to a Lincoln Navigator, which may have been caused by a Ford Taurus. Or not. There were some white marks on the Navigator, but they looked kinda old. I called Redneck Randy in for a consultation.
“As far as I can tell,” he said. “I think you’re right.”
“As far as you can tell? I thought you rednecks were experts on bodywork?”
“In causing it, yeah.”
Free Stuff
The same trick the drug dealers use.
Backstairs at the Monte Carlo
Clock in with the graveyard crew of the Monte Carlo Security Department on the glamorous Las Vegas Strip.
Click here for the first two months of the funniest Vegas memoir ever.
Criminals, Courtesans and Constables
Gaylon’s latest novel takes place everywhere from throne rooms to death row.
Click here to read the first four chapters with our compliments.
Click on the button to get started to read The Diary of a Nobody, Backstairs at the Monte Carlo and Criminals, Courtesans and Constables for only $4.99, a steal.
On This Date
The long march to today.
In 1899 – Dr Henry Bliss becomes the first recorded death in America resulting from an automobile accident when he is run over by a taxi near Central Park in New York City. Bliss had been alighting from a streetcar when he was hit and the driver was later found not guilty of manslaughter, due to a lack of malice and negligence. The first auto accident death in the world had occurred in London in 1896.
In 1986 – Bert Blyleven of the Minnesota Twins establishes a new American League record for most home runs allowed in a season in a 14-1 loss to the Texas Rangers. Blyleven allowed five home runs to break the record of 43 established by Pedro Ramos of the Washington Senators in 1957. He would allow six more home runs that season, establishing a new major league record, 50, that still stands.
In 1986 – Berlin is at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the only week with Take My Breath Away. It was the second and final Top 40 hit for the group and remains their only #1 song. Take My Breath Away went to #1 in five other countries, including Belgium and Great Britain and won songwriters Georgio Moroder and Tom Whitlock the Academy Award and the Golden Globe Award for Best Original Song. The song returned to the Hot 100 in 2004 when a version by Jessica Simpson peaked at #20.
Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.
I am sure that if the gods (who probably don’t exist) really wanted to speak to us, they could find a better messenger than the liver of a bull... – Gore Vidal, Julian
Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know.
Elvis Presley’s biggest chart single was All Shook Up, which spent eight weeks at #1. His biggest record was the double-sided hit Don’t Be Cruel and Hound Dog, which spent eleven weeks at #1.
Today’s Stumper
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar.
Whose major league home runs allowed in a season record did Bert Blyleven break? – Answer next time!
The Diary of a Nobody/September 12
Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…
Saturday, September 12
Assistant Front Desk Manager Q had some sad news for me: he was shut out, no rewards club enrollments today!!!…He was not making that up…He advised it was one of those nights when virtually every arrival was already a member…Still, tho, he’s still leading Amy by five for the month.
Backstairs at the Monte Carlo/July 5, 6, 7 & 8
July 5
Here was your Outside lineup for last night:
Mary 1 – Guy
Mary 2 – moi
Baker 1 – Redneck Randy
It’s a tough time on graveyard. Judy may well be out for a while with her husband’s illness and the latest rumor is that OMP is merely marking time till he takes his dirt nap. Rich, turning uncharacteristically sentimental, said he’d go to OMP’s funeral if it was in the smoking break room during 482.
The Daily Dose/Saturday, September 12, 2020
The Daily Dose/September 12, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience.
HUT, HUT HIKE: We’ve had some minor whining about the fact we are not producing an NFL Bottom Ten this season, despite the fact the NFL season is in progress.
We’re Going To Get Some Dry, Technical Matter, Aren’t We?: There are a couple of reasons for this. One, the NCAA Bottom Ten isn’t being run because not every college is playing football, including the Mid-American Conference (MAC) and because the MAC sometimes has three teams in a survey, there is no point to an NCAA Bottom Ten without MAC participation.
This Is Don Criqui Reporting: Really, though, your Bottom Ten pollsters are “pretty sure” there’s no point to sports without fans in attendance. Writing is mainly inspiration and every word you read here comes from the heart, regardless of how anyone might feel about it or whether or not anyone chooses to pay for it. And there was simply no inspiration to write The Bottom Ten this year, making it, perhaps, the biggest casualty of the Virus Era.
The Bottom Line: We’ve always felt that our only job as a writer is to say what we feel needs to be said every time we sit down to ply this trade. If what you are writing is not exactly what you should be doing with your life, then you’re not writing, you’re typing and any original Bottom Ten content would have been forced. You and I both deserve better than that.
Editor’s Note: there is a 2020 Bottom Ten, however. The NCAA version is running best of columns from years past, while the NFL Bottom Ten is chronicling the Cleveland Browns’ 2017 0-16 campaign. They run Tuesdays and Wednesdays or, sometimes Wednesdays and Thursdays. It depends.
Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually.
The Diary of a Nobody: Sparrow goes to Waffle House.
My usual value menu $1 sausage biscuits weren’t on the menu, so, feeling frisky I decided to completely do away with routine and skipped my other usual, the sausage sandwich on Texas toast, and looked for a new unhealthy habit to start.
It didn’t look promising at first, tho, because ol’ Sparrow completely misread the menu and thought a single waffle cost $8.99, an admirable profit on some heated up batter…Further examination, tho, showed the waffle was merely one component of the All-Star Breakfast, a feast that included not only a waffle but two eggs, your choice of grits or their famous hash browns and your choice of bacon, sausage or ham plus toast…
Backstairs at the Monte Carlo: A particularly favored cocktail waitress is leaving.
I was devastated when Rich told me. Regina was the total package, ‘one hell of a broad’ as Rich called her, which for the understated Rich is the ultimate compliment.
Free Stuff
The same trick the drug dealers use.
Backstairs at the Monte Carlo
Clock in with the graveyard crew of the Monte Carlo Security Department on the glamorous Las Vegas Strip.
Click here for the first two months of the funniest Vegas memoir ever.
Criminals, Courtesans and Constables
Gaylon’s latest novel takes place everywhere from throne rooms to death row.
Click here to read the first four chapters with our compliments.
Click on the button to get started to read The Diary of a Nobody, Backstairs at the Monte Carlo and Criminals, Courtesans and Constables for only $4.99, a steal.
On This Date
The long march to today.
In 1990 – A peace and independence treaty between East and West Germany and the United States, Soviet Union, France and the United Kingdom is signed in Moscow. The treaty saw the Four Powers renounce all rights they’d had in Germany since the end of World War II and allowed for East and West Germany to reunify in October. The two Germanys had been separate countries since 1949.
In 1947 – Ralph Kiner of the Pittsburgh Pirates establishes a new major league record for most home runs in four consecutive games in a 4-3 victory over the Boston Braves. Kiner had two home runs in the game, giving him eight in the past four games to break the record of seven home runs in four games, done by Tony Lazerri of the New York Yankees in 1936. The streak ended the following day against the Braves and the record still stands.
In 1960 – Elvis Presley is at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 for the fifth and final week with It’s Now or Never. The song also went to #1 in nine other countries, including Norway and Great Britain, peaked at #7 on Billboard’s soul chart and was Billboard’s seventh biggest song of the year. The song returned to the Hot 100 in 1981 when a version by John Schneider peaked at #14. It was the 14th of 18 #1 songs for Presley.
Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.
History is idle gossip about a happening whose truth is lost the instant it has taken place. – Gore Vidal, Julian
Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know.
Ty Cobb broke Cap Anson’s all-time major league hit mark with his 3,346th hit in 1923.
Today’s Stumper
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar.
Which Elvis song spent the most weeks at #1? – Answer next time!