The Daily Dose/August 31, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around our human experience.

THIS IS CASEY COUNTING THEM DOWN: Last week we dropped a new Billboard chart record on you without comment. An item in our popular On This Date segment on Stevie Wonder hitting #1 on Billboard’s soul chart noted that the song was one of Wonder’s 20 #1 soul hits, a Billboard soul chart record shared with Aretha Franklin and Drake. 

Get Our Your History Books: Drake is the new entry. Regular and astute readers of this crap might have noticed but it probably went over the heads of those of you in the peanut gallery. Heck, it was news to us, too. We check this record every time we trot Wonder or Aretha out in On This Date, so we knew Drake was nearing the mark, but it was news that Drake had tied the record. 

Get Out Your History Books: This is not breaking news, either. The song that did it, Toosie Side, spent a week at #1 in April on both the soul chart and the Hot 100. 

Dry, Technical Matter: Drake is from Toronto, where he still lives, and his uncle is Larry Graham, formerly of Sly and the Family Stone who also had a #1 soul hit, One In A Million You, in 1980 while Drake’s first #1 soul hit was 2007’s Best I Ever Had. Regular readers of this crap know we do enjoy our research here, but looking into how many other uncle/nephew combinations have also had #1 soul songs was a bit much, even for us. 

FunFact, Especially If You’re Drake: Drake could issue a track of him belching and it would chart. He also holds soul chart records for most chart singles (210), Most Top 40 hits (156) and most Top 10 hits (70). Longtime Billboard soul chart buffs – and who isn’t one, really? – will be pleased to note the Godfather of Soul James Brown still ranks highly on all four lists. 

The Bottom Line: For those of you who caught Drake’s addition, bravo zulu as we used to say in the navy. For those of you that didn’t, that’s OK, too. Chart minutiae isn’t for everybody, though you better get used to it here. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody: The cat won’t even eat Sparrow’s chili.  

I did not get to sleep until late afternoon (see Sleep Log below), so I ate some of the chili I made last week…Or maybe it was the week before…I can never remember…I’ve only had two servings since making it and while it’s not too bad, it’s not particularly good, either…The cat, after some cursory, early interest, eventually decided she would be having nothing to do with it. 

Backstairs at the Monte Carlo: Brandon gets his first hotel assignment. 

He’s the first rookie to debut in the hotel in a while and privately X-Ray and I are wondering how he’ll do. He’s ex-Army and he’s back from Iraq, but can he handle the pressures of the hotel? And on a weekend, no less! I mean, sure, he’s seen the ravages of war, but how will he respond when the welfare checks start going down? 

Free Stuff
The same trick the drug dealers use.

Backstairs at the Monte Carlo
Clock in with the graveyard crew of the Monte Carlo Security Department on the glamorous Las Vegas Strip.
Click here for the first two months of the funniest Vegas memoir ever. 

Criminals, Courtesans and Constables
Gaylon’s latest novel takes place everywhere from throne rooms to death row.
Click here to read the first four chapters with our compliments.

The Regular Guys
Coming soon! Meet Lenny and Larry, two comedians going nowhere on their own who team up and become the biggest act in show business. 

Click on the button to get started to read The Diary of a Nobody, Backstairs at the Monte Carlo and Criminals, Courtesans and Constables for only $4.99, a steal. 

On This Date
The long march to today.

In 1997 – Diana, Princess of Wales, her companion Dodi Fayed and their driver Henri Paul, are killed in a car crash in a tunnel in Paris. Their bodyguard, Trevor Rees-Jones, survived, with serious injuries. Though initial speculation centered on the car being chased by members of the entertainment press corps, it was later revealed that Paul was both drunk and stoned at the time of the crash and that no one was wearing their seat belts.

In 1965 – Russ Nixon of the Boston Red Sox ties the major league record for most sacrifice flies in a game in an 8-5 win over the Washington Senators in the second game of a doubleheader. Nixon had three scoring fly balls, tying the mark established by Bob Meusel of the New York Yankees in 1926. The record still stands and has now been accomplished a total of eleven times, most recently by Jose Lopez of the Seattle Mariners in 2008. 

In 1974 – George Jones is at #1 on Billboard’s country chart – then known as the Hot Country Singles chart – for the only week with The Grand Tour. It was the fifth of 13 #1 country songs for Jones and his first since 1967. The song also peaked at #2 on Canada’s country chart and in 1993 a version by Aaron Neville peaked at #38 on the country chart and at #90 on the Hot 100. 

Quotebook
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

If destruction be our lot, we ourselves must be its author and finisher. As a nation of free men, we must live through all times, or die by suicide. Abraham Lincoln, 1/27/1838

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know. 

Joe Louis defended his heavyweight title 25 times. 

Today’s Stumper
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar. 

Russ Nixon later managed which major league baseball teams? – Answer next time!

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The Daily Dose/August 30, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

The Sunday Bottom 5
The very best of the very worst of the week that was.

1. Lauren Daigle – American singer’s latest single is in 99th non-consecutive week at #1 on Billboard’s Hot Christian Songs chart, one week away from becoming first song to spend 100 weeks atop a Billboard singles survey…Sunday Bottom 5 pollsters “pretty sure” Onward Christian Soldiers never deemed “hot” by anyone whatsoever. 

2. Major League Baseball – If baseball were serious about fighting racial injustice they’d replace current silhouette on logo with silhouette of Oscar Gamble’s ‘fro. 

3. NBA Players –  Faced with opportunity to really stick it to The Man, NBA players blink, preferring to focus on what really matters – winning playoff games in empty arena – than making significant social statement. 

4. Vice President Pence Fact Check – Click here as vice president plays follow the leader. 

5. President Trump Fact Check – Here we go again, the usual SB5 five-hole staple…Click here for the latest misinformation and falsehoods, this week from the GOP national convention. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody: Sparrow wakes up to some rain.  

Finally, some rain…There was a very nice storm going when I woke up at 1600 or so, giving the lawn a good soaking ol’ Sparrow didn’t have to pay for and, perhaps, helping the fires south of here…Proof that ol’ Sparrow will whine about absolutely anything can be found in the fact he whined about this, too, because of the effect it might have on the evening walk but that was wasted whining because it was all clear an hour or so later and yours truly got in a wonderful walk in on the River Route.

Backstairs at the Monte Carlo: Tragedy strikes as X-Ray and Gaylon have to throw out some pretty good booze. 

Well, there is really only one thing you can do in this situation because you can’t leave unattended booze in the hall because what if a kid picks it up? You can’t leave them sitting in the maid’s room, you can’t take them home and you certainly can’t drink them. There is nothing to do but get rid of them. 

Free Stuff
The same trick the drug dealers use.

Backstairs at the Monte Carlo
Clock in with the graveyard crew of the Monte Carlo Security Department on the glamorous Las Vegas Strip.
Click here for the first two months of the funniest Vegas memoir ever. 

Criminals, Courtesans and Constables
Gaylon’s latest novel takes place everywhere from throne rooms to death row.
Click here to read the first four chapters with our compliments.

The Regular Guys
Coming soon! Meet Lenny and Larry, two comedians going nowhere on their own who team up and become the biggest act in show business. 

Click on the button to get started to read The Diary of a Nobody, Backstairs at the Monte Carlo and Criminals, Courtesans and Constables for only $4.99, a steal. 

On This Date
History’s long march to today.

In 1992 – What History refers to as the Ruby Ridge Standoff ends in northern Idaho when Randy Weaver and others surrender. The siege had begun on Aug 21 when US Marshals had tried to arrest Weaver on a bench warrant. Weaver’s wife and son were killed in the standoff, as was one US Marshall. Weaver would eventually be acquitted of all charges associated with the standoff, found guilty only on charges associated with his original missed court date and bail violation charges. 

In 1937 – Joe Louis wins the first defense of his heavyweight boxing championship, defeating Tommy Farr of Great Britain in a 15 round unanimous decision at Yankee Stadium in New York City. Louis had won the title by defeating James Braddock in June and would hold until he retired in 1949, still the longest single heavyweight title reign in history. 

In 1980 – Christopher Cross is at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 for the only week with Sailing. It was the second chart single for Cross and his first of two #1 songs (Arthur’s Theme, three weeks, 1981) and the song also went to #1 in Canada and peaked at #48 in Great Britain. Sailing also won Grammy Awards for Record of the Year, Song of the Year, and Arrangement of the Year,

Quotebook
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

…the essential cause of the Roman conquest of Greece was the disintegration of Greek …Dinah perfectly scorned logic…and always took refuge in intuitive certainty. – Harriet Beecher Stowe, Uncle Tom’s Cabin

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know. 

The Thrill Is Gone by B.B. King won the 1971 Grammy Award for Best R&B Vocal Performance, Male.  

Today’s Stumper
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar. 

How many times did Joe Louis successfully defend his world heavyweight title? – Answer next time!

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The Daily Dose/August 29, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience. 

Leading Off  is back in hiding. It will return. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody: Sparrow washes his car.   

Yours truly has no cleaning skills, of course, so care was taken to pay really close attention and as a result of this extra attention there were only two or three unwashed swaths visible. 

Backstairs at the Monte Carlo: OMP and Gaylon handle an unusual call in the hotel. 

Junior sent OMP and me to the 19 maid’s room for unknown trouble. It is certainly not unusual to get sent somewhere for unknown trouble, but a maid’s room? I spend a lot of time in maid’s rooms and there has never been trouble – known or unknown – in any of them, probably because of my near-constant patrols. 

Free Stuff
The same trick the drug dealers use.

Backstairs at the Monte Carlo
Clock in with the graveyard crew of the Monte Carlo Security Department on the glamorous Las Vegas Strip.
Click here for the first two months of the funniest Vegas memoir ever. 

Criminals, Courtesans and Constables
Gaylon’s latest novel takes place everywhere from throne rooms to death row.
Click here to read the first four chapters with our compliments.

The Regular Guys
Coming soon! Meet Lenny and Larry, two comedians going nowhere on their own who team up and become the biggest act in show business. 

Click on the button to get started to read The Diary of a Nobody, Backstairs at the Monte Carlo and Criminals, Courtesans and Constables for only $4.99, a steal. 

On This Date
History’s long march to today.

In 1786 – Farmers in western Massachusetts, led by Daniel Shays, rebel against debt collection and tax burdens, an event History refers to as Shays’ Rebellion. The federal government was unable to quell the rebellion, and it was ultimately put down by state and private militias the following June. Most of the 4,000 involved were granted amnesty, though Shays and 17 others were sentenced to death. Two were hanged, and Shays was pardoned in 1788. Historians have very dull arguments about the influence of Shays’ rebellion on the US Constitution.

In 1972 – Jim Barr of the San Francisco Giants establishes a new major league record for most consecutive batters retired in a 3-0 won over the St Louis Cardinals. Barr retired the first 20 batters he faced, giving him 41 total consecutive batters retired after retiring the final 21 consecutive Pittsburgh Pirates he faced on Aug 23. Research into whose record Barr broke was maddeningly inconclusive and the record was tied in 2007 by Bobby Jenks of the Chicago White Sox, broken in 2009 by Mark Buehrle (45 straight) and is now held by Yusmeiro Petit of the San Francisco Giants, who retired 46 consecutive batters in 2014. 

In 1970 – Edwin Starr is at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 for the first of three consecutive weeks with War. The song had originally been recorded by the Temptations, though Motown Records declined to release the song as a single. War also went to #1 in Canada and peaked at #3 both in Great Britain and on Billboard’s soul chart. It was the third of four Top 40 hits for Starr and remains his only #1 song. War was also nominated for a Grammy Award for Best R&B Male Vocal Performance.

Quotebook
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

…the essential cause of the Roman conquest of Greece was the disintegration of Greek civilization from within. No great nation is ever conquered until it has destroyed itself.  – Will Durant, The Story of Civilization, Vol II: The Life of Greece

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know. 

The Cleveland Blues were in the National League from 1879-84. 

Today’s Stumper
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar. 

What artist won the 1971 Grammy Award for Best R&B Male Vocal Performance? – Answer next time!

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The Daily Dose/August 28, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience. 

WELL, THAT WAS QUICK: Almost as quickly as it started, the protest of NBA players over the shooting in the back of Jacob Blake and other injustices by not playing games is over. Mostly, they are being universally hailed for their decision not to play games Wednesday and few are taking them to task for resuming playing. 

Fly In The Ointment: They should be taken to task. They copped out. Yes, they will still have their messages on their uniforms and on the court. But they are still playing basketball and they are still making money, for themselves and the mostly white people that run the NBA and the companies that sponsor them. The only consequence is that the playoffs are being delayed a few days. 

Oh Yeah: Yes, some more baseball games weren’t played and the NHL is taking a couple of days off, but Blacks no longer care about baseball and nobody south of the Yukon is paying attention to the NHL playoffs anyway so big wow. NBA players are the heart of the protest movement and the heart isn’t beating. 

The Bottom Line: People can say this and people can say that, but the bottom line is the NBA’s player’s protest is now in the past tense. Sure, they are still trumpeting their message but they’re not sacrificing anything to get it out. Their chance to hit The Man where it hurt – in his wallet and on his TV – has been traded in to play some basketball games. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody: There’s some interesting stuff in Sparrow’s mail.   

There was a ballot for the board of directors election for the local electric cooperative and I voted in accordance with standard Sparrow Priority Factors (SPF): 

– Vote for yourself
– Vote for someone you know
– Vote for the babe
– Vote for the challenger

As it was, neither myself nor anyone I knew was running, so moderately attractive Kris and challenger Norm got my votes, as did an incumbent running unopposed. 

Backstairs at the Monte Carlo: X-Ray, Lee and Gaylon – the International Henry Units – respond to a noise complaint of a couple getting it on in their room. 

So Lee and I turn down the hall and we see X-Ray, the consummate hotel professional, listening attentively. Lee and I get there, listen for a while, and come to the same conclusion X-Ray came to: that a woman is being pleasured.

But not all that well, though. It was our highly professional opinion that we’ve heard better. 

Free Stuff
The same trick the drug dealers use.

Backstairs at the Monte Carlo
Clock in with the graveyard crew of the Monte Carlo Security Department on the glamorous Las Vegas Strip.
Click here for the first two months of the funniest Vegas memoir ever. 

Criminals, Courtesans and Constables
Gaylon’s latest novel takes place everywhere from throne rooms to death row.
Click here to read the first four chapters with our compliments.

The Regular Guys
Coming soon! Meet Lenny and Larry, two comedians going nowhere on their own who team up and become the biggest act in show business. 

Click on the button to get started to read The Diary of a Nobody, Backstairs at the Monte Carlo and Criminals, Courtesans and Constables for only $4.99, a steal. 

On This Date
History’s long march to today.

In 1898 – Pepsi-Cola comes into existence, when it’s inventor, Caleb Bradham, changes its name from Brad’s Drink. Brad’s Drink had been invented in 1893 in North Carolina and despite some success, Bradham declared bankruptcy in 1923, mainly because of rises in the price of sugar. Pepsi-Cola derived its name in part from pepsin, an enzyme that aids in digestion, which is not an actual Pepsi-Cola ingredient. Bradham also served in the North Carolina Naval Militia, retiring as a rear admiral. 

In 1888 – Mickey Welch of the New York Gothams, later the Giants, establishes new major league records for most consecutive strikeouts in a game and at the start of a game in a 10-2 victory over the Cleveland Blues. Welch retired the first nine batters he faced, though for many years this feat was not recognized because one strikeout victim reached first when the pitch wasn’t caught. Research into whose records Welch broke was inconclusive and his record for consecutive strikeouts at the start of a game still stands. Tom Seaver holds the record for most consecutive strikeouts with ten, done on April 22, 1970. 

In 1961 – Joe Dowell is at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the only week with Wooden Heart (Muss I Denn). It was the first of three chart singles for Dowell, his first of two Top 40 hits and remains his only #1 song. Dowell learned he was singing the song the day it was recorded, did not speak German, and learned the German parts phonetically. The song did not chart in any other country, though earlier in the year a version by Elvis spent six weeks at #1 in Great Britain, a version that was not released as a single in the US.

Quotebook
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

When a priest explained to Antisthenes how many good things the virtuous will enjoy after death, he asked, “Why, then, do you not die?”. – Will Durant, The Story of Civilization, Vol II: The Life of Greece

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know. 

The major league record for most stolen bases in a season without getting caught is 23, by Chase Utley of the Philadelphia Phillies in 2009. The National League record is actually higher. In 2004 Carlos Beltran of the Houston Astros stole 28 consecutive bases, however, Beltran had three caught stealings with Kansas City before being traded. 

Today’s Stumper
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar. 

In what seasons were the Cleveland Blues in the National League? – Answer next time!

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