Editor(s) Note: The Bottom Ten – in an abundance of both caution and a lack of material – is taking 2020 off. Today’s column originally ran in 2019.
The Bottom Ten/NCAA Week 1 By Gaylon Kent America’s Funniest Guy
More than at any time, college football is a game of the haves and the have nots. You’re either strutting your stuff for the Bottom Ten pollsters or you’re not. You’re either contending for coveted spots on the Bottom Ten medal stand, or you’re not.
You’re either UConn or you’re not.
Fresh off their first-ever ESPNCup, symbolic of Bottom Ten supremacy, the worst defense in NCAA history is mostly back, ready to defend its title against what can only be called one of the deepest fields in recent memory.
…but all wasn’t lost because there’s both a restaurant and empty rooms with microwaves but then I seemed to remember this happening before and it being fixed…Unfortunately, ol’ Sparrow wasn’t entirely sure how it was fixed, but the only troubleshooting option, outside of beating it senseless, was unplugging it and plugging it back in again, so that’s what I did and, after resetting the clock, was feasting two minutes later.
I managed to qualify, but there was a shot in the head and one in the crotch of my target. Jo(s)e pointed out the crotch shot and I told him it meant don’t mess with my woman, cause I’d just as soon shoot you as look at you. Jo(s)e pointed out I don’t currently have a woman, and I told him not to worry about that, just file it away for future reference.
Editor’s Note: The Bottom Ten will run Thursday.
Free Stuff The same trick the drug dealers use.
Backstairs at the Monte Carlo Clock in with the graveyard crew of the Monte Carlo Security Department on the glamorous Las Vegas Strip. Click here for the first two months of the funniest Vegas memoir ever.
Criminals, Courtesans and Constables Gaylon’s latest novel takes place everywhere from throne rooms to death row. Click here to read the first four chapters with our compliments.
The Regular Guys Coming soon! Meet Lenny and Larry, two comedians going nowhere on their own who team up and become the biggest act in show business.
Click on the button to get started to read The Diary of a Nobody, Backstairs at the Monte Carlo and Criminals, Courtesans and Constables for only $4.99, a steal.
On This Date The long march to today.
In 1945 – World War II officially ends as surrender documents between Japan and the United States and her allies are signed on board the battleship USS Missouri in Tokyo Bay. Japan had first indicated its desire to surrender after the US dropped its second atomic bomb on Nagasaki on Aug 9. The Japanese delegation wore formal attire, while most US officers wore their khaki work uniform. The Missouri is now a museum ship in Pearl Harbor.
In 1996 – Mike Greenwell of the Boston Red Sox establishes a new major league record for most RBIs in a game that accounted for all of a team’s runs in a 9-8, 10-inning win over the Seattle Mariners. Greenwell went 4-for-5 with a single, double and two home runs, including the go-ahead RBI in the tenth inning. The record for a nine-inning game is eight, done by George Kelly of the New York Giants in 1924 and Bob Johnson of the Philadelphia Athletics in 138.
In 1967 – The Beatles are at #1 on Billboard’s album chart – then known as the Top LPs chart – for the eleventh of 15 consecutive weeks with Sgt Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band. It was the group’s tenth of 19 #1 albums and the album also went to #1 in six other countries, including 27 weeks at #1 in Great Britain and was Billboard’s tenth biggest album of 1967 and sixth biggest of 1968. The album won four Grammy Awards, including Album of the Year.
Quotebook The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.
…the Greeks, who had once been a nation of athletes, became now a nation of spectators, content to witness rather than to do. – Will Durant, The Story of Civilization, Vol. II: The Story of Greece
Answer To The Last Trivia Question It’s not who you know, but what you know.
After his playing career, Russ Nixon later managed the Cincinnati Reds and the Atlanta Braves.
Today’s Stumper Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar.
Who holds the major league record for most RBIs in a game? – Answer next time!
Share Gaylon! Go!
Posted inUncategorized|Comments Off on The Daily Dose/Wednesday, September 2, 2020
Very busy at the VSO…Recall I took Friday off and Friday must have been Call the VSO Day because there were no less than eight messages for me, none duplicates, and the inbox was out the arse full, but little of it actually required response from me.
Like last night, I’m in the garage when this goes down, and, like last night, I scream out of the garage lights blazing and running stop signs left and right, but, unlike last night I sped down the wrong side of the street!
This was so cool it wasn’t even funny. There were a couple of taxis pulling into Monte Carlo at the time and even they had the good sense to pull over and let me go. I get there and there is a lot of milling around and a young lady lying on the ground bleeding. She is being attended by another young lady.
I step in and take charge.
Click on the button to get started to read The Diary of a Nobody, Backstairs at the Monte Carlo and Criminals, Courtesans and Constables for only $4.99, a steal.
Share Gaylon! Go!
Posted in2020|Comments Off on The Daily Dose/Tuesday, September 1, 2020
The Daily Dose/August 31, 2020 By Gaylon Kent America’s Funniest Guy
Leading Off Notes from around our human experience.
THIS IS CASEY COUNTING THEM DOWN: Last week we dropped a new Billboard chart record on you without comment. An item in our popular On This Date segment on Stevie Wonder hitting #1 on Billboard’s soul chart noted that the song was one of Wonder’s 20 #1 soul hits, a Billboard soul chart record shared with Aretha Franklin and Drake.
Get Our Your History Books: Drake is the new entry. Regular and astute readers of this crap might have noticed but it probably went over the heads of those of you in the peanut gallery. Heck, it was news to us, too. We check this record every time we trot Wonder or Aretha out in On This Date, so we knew Drake was nearing the mark, but it was news that Drake had tied the record.
Get Out Your History Books: This is not breaking news, either. The song that did it, Toosie Side, spent a week at #1 in April on both the soul chart and the Hot 100.
Dry, Technical Matter: Drake is from Toronto, where he still lives, and his uncle is Larry Graham, formerly of Sly and the Family Stone who also had a #1 soul hit, One In A Million You, in 1980 while Drake’s first #1 soul hit was 2007’s Best I Ever Had. Regular readers of this crap know we do enjoy our research here, but looking into how many other uncle/nephew combinations have also had #1 soul songs was a bit much, even for us.
FunFact, Especially If You’re Drake: Drake could issue a track of him belching and it would chart. He also holds soul chart records for most chart singles (210), Most Top 40 hits (156) and most Top 10 hits (70). Longtime Billboard soul chart buffs – and who isn’t one, really? – will be pleased to note the Godfather of Soul James Brown still ranks highly on all four lists.
The Bottom Line: For those of you who caught Drake’s addition, bravo zulu as we used to say in the navy. For those of you that didn’t, that’s OK, too. Chart minutiae isn’t for everybody, though you better get used to it here.
I did not get to sleep until late afternoon (see Sleep Log below), so I ate some of the chili I made last week…Or maybe it was the week before…I can never remember…I’ve only had two servings since making it and while it’s not too bad, it’s not particularly good, either…The cat, after some cursory, early interest, eventually decided she would be having nothing to do with it.
He’s the first rookie to debut in the hotel in a while and privately X-Ray and I are wondering how he’ll do. He’s ex-Army and he’s back from Iraq, but can he handle the pressures of the hotel? And on a weekend, no less! I mean, sure, he’s seen the ravages of war, but how will he respond when the welfare checks start going down?
Free Stuff The same trick the drug dealers use.
Backstairs at the Monte Carlo Clock in with the graveyard crew of the Monte Carlo Security Department on the glamorous Las Vegas Strip. Click here for the first two months of the funniest Vegas memoir ever.
Criminals, Courtesans and Constables Gaylon’s latest novel takes place everywhere from throne rooms to death row. Click here to read the first four chapters with our compliments.
The Regular Guys Coming soon! Meet Lenny and Larry, two comedians going nowhere on their own who team up and become the biggest act in show business.
Click on the button to get started to read The Diary of a Nobody, Backstairs at the Monte Carlo and Criminals, Courtesans and Constables for only $4.99, a steal.
On This Date The long march to today.
In 1997 – Diana, Princess of Wales, her companion Dodi Fayed and their driver Henri Paul, are killed in a car crash in a tunnel in Paris. Their bodyguard, Trevor Rees-Jones, survived, with serious injuries. Though initial speculation centered on the car being chased by members of the entertainment press corps, it was later revealed that Paul was both drunk and stoned at the time of the crash and that no one was wearing their seat belts.
In 1965 – Russ Nixon of the Boston Red Sox ties the major league record for most sacrifice flies in a game in an 8-5 win over the Washington Senators in the second game of a doubleheader. Nixon had three scoring fly balls, tying the mark established by Bob Meusel of the New York Yankees in 1926. The record still stands and has now been accomplished a total of eleven times, most recently by Jose Lopez of the Seattle Mariners in 2008.
In 1974 – George Jones is at #1 on Billboard’s country chart – then known as the Hot Country Singles chart – for the only week with The Grand Tour. It was the fifth of 13 #1 country songs for Jones and his first since 1967. The song also peaked at #2 on Canada’s country chart and in 1993 a version by Aaron Neville peaked at #38 on the country chart and at #90 on the Hot 100.
Quotebook The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.
If destruction be our lot, we ourselves must be its author and finisher. As a nation of free men, we must live through all times, or die by suicide. Abraham Lincoln, 1/27/1838
Answer To The Last Trivia Question It’s not who you know, but what you know.
Joe Louis defended his heavyweight title 25 times.
Today’s Stumper Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar.
Russ Nixon later managed which major league baseball teams? – Answer next time!
Share Gaylon! Go!
Posted in2020|Comments Off on The Daily Dose/Monday, August 31, 2020
