The Bottom Ten/NCAA Week 2
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
With no less – and no more – than five (5) teams with double-digit losing streaks, the 2020 race for the ESPNCup is already shaping up to be one those “generational races” that will see several teams going right down to the last missed block or offsides call of the year. It’s so tight right now that our patented B-10 TitleTrak Radar is already blowing out power grids from Massachusetts to the Bayou.
This week’s mess:
Editor’s Note: there were seven (7) ESPNCup champions in 2020. All are referred to as defending champions.
1. New Mexico State (0-2; lost to San Diego State 28-10)
Mitigating Factors: Aggies retain top spot with first blown lead of season, using strong finishing kick to get outscored 28-0 in second half…Offense getting smiley faces on playbooks for producing three (3) interceptions, six punts in second half…Entire game bores everyone west of Rockies with 20 punts, 13 penalties.
Numbers Game: Aggies show mastery of fundamentals with 61 penalty yards, 48 rushing yards for excellent 1.2708333-to-1 Penalty-Yards-To-Rushing-Yards ratio.
Next Loss: at New Mexico
2. Vanderbilt (0-1; lost to East Tennessee State 23-3)
Mitigating Factors: Commodores open up defense of 2020 B-10 title with stirring – though hardly surprising – opening loss to lower-level team…Commodores still reeling from turn of century decision to combine Athletic, Student Affairs departments as Glee Club singers pulling football play-calling duties send plays in by singing in the round causing NCAA record 63 delay of game penalties.
Numbers Racket: Current eleven (11)-game skid best amongst teams that haven’t lost twelve (12) or 13 straight.
Next Loss: at Colorado State
3. Louisiana-Monroe (0-1; lost to Kentucky 45-10)
Mitigating Factors: Defending B-10 champions showing no let-up in 2021, with twelfth straight loss…UL-M shows cursory, early interest with touchdown on opening drive, before recovering with ten (10) straight punts…UL-M student union – hoping to avoid distractions of B-10 title run during finals – has forced team to play four (4) of final five (5) games on road.
FunFact: After routine road loss to Power 5 conference foe, Warhawks looking to really pad B-10 resume with loss to lower-level team in home opener this week.
Next Loss: Jackson State
4. Pac-12 Graveyard (0-2; Arizona: lost to BYU 24-16; Washington: lost to Montana 13-7)
Mitigating Factors: Forced into joint entry because feature isn’t The Bottom 11, Wildcats have lost nation’s best 13 straight while Huskies ring in 2021 with momentum-building loss to lower-level team…B-10 fan(s) everywhere already circling 10/22 meeting as potential B-10 instant classic.
Broad, Historical Context: B-10 pollsters “pretty sure” this is first western joint entry since Idaho, New Mexico, formed Interior Department entry in Double Aughts
Next Loss: Arizona: San Diego State; Washington: at Michigan
5. Bowling Green (0-1; lost to Tennessee 38-6)
Mitigating Factors: Falcons soaring to another strong start with resounding loss to SEC patsy that itself had lost seven (7) of last eight (8)…Falcons another juggernaut in the Penalty-Yards-To-Rushing-Yards racket, with an excellent 2.46875-to-1 ratio (79 penalty, 32 rushing) vs. Volunteers.
FunFact: To symbolize recent overall MAC B-10 dominance, Falcons issued first ever Wright Brothers Cup – issued to team with longest overall losing streak in MAC.
Next Loss: South Alabama
6. Pac-12
Mitigating Factors: Not only home to team with Nation’s Longest Losing Streak, half of conference is 0-1, including losses to Big Sky and Mountain West terrors and conference easy pick for coveted B-10 Conference of the Week Award despite fact there are seven (7) winless MAC teams.
Up Where We Belong: With current conference talent level, conference officials privately wondering if teams will be able to rebound for strong .500 mark in conference play.
Next Loss: Annual Rose Bowl bid, as Granddaddy of Them All expected to invite California major division high school champion for 2022 game.
7. Navy (0-1; lost to Marshall 49-7)
Mitigating Factors: Midshipmen cruise to front in race for Sgt Bilko Trophy – symbolic of service academy lousiness – with big home loss…Navy hampered by pregame Navy Secretary speech urging defense to “not tackle until you see the backs of their jerseys”…Navy can take big first step in retaining Sgt Bilko Trophy with loss to latest crop off flyboy officer candidates this week.
FunFact: Current six (6)-game skid best since 2018 squad produced seven (7)-game skid.
Next Loss: Air Force
8. Thiel College (0-1; lost to Alleghany 42-14)
Mitigating Factors: Tomcats show no rust following season off in retaining Continental Cup – issued to team with longest all-division losing streak in NATO – with 28th straight loss…Total Team Effort (TTE) sees Tomcats give up touchdowns on the ground, in the air and via interception return…Offense shows way early, with punts or interceptions on seven (7) of first eight (8) possessions.
More Broad Historical Context: Thiel one of the more consistent Division III teams, having lost fewer than six (6) games only three (3) times this century.
Next Loss: Washington and Jefferson
9. Old Dominion (0-1; lost to Wake Forest 42-10)
Mitigating Factors: Monarchs not in this one for long, only trailing 7-3 before breaking it open and getting outscored 35-0…Current 12-game skid – dating back to 2019 – tied for second-best in country and best in team history…Monarchs have not won consecutive games against major-division teams since beating dreaded Charlotte, Florida International and Rice in 2017.
FunFact: Monarchs can solidify position on patented B-10 TitleTrak Radar by snapping 17-game win skid against lower-level teams this week.
Next Loss: Hampton
10. UMess (0-1; lost to Pitt 51-7)
Mitigating Factors: Offense shows way for defending B-10 champs in this one, turning in perfect first half, punting on eight (8) of eight (8) first half possessions…Current 12-game skid not only tied for second-best in nation, but tied for school-best with iconic 2008-09 squads…UMess another statistical wrecking crew, as 66 penalty yards, 42 rushing yards result in impressive 1.57142-to-1 Penalty Yards-to-Rushing Yards ratio.
FunFact: With key game against UConn still to come, Minutemen can get leg up in race for John Adams Spittoon – symbolic of Puritan B-10 supremacy – with loss to BC Sunday.
Next Loss: Boston College
This Week’s Clash of the Titans: Vanderbilt at Colorado State
Pac-12 Thumping of the Week: Washington at Michigan
Potential Law Firm Game of the Week: Washington and Jefferson at Thiel.
