The Bottom Ten/NFL Week 1

The Bottom Ten is free for the first couple of weeks.

The Bottom Ten/NFL Week 1
By Gaylon KentAmerica’s Funniest Guy™ 

It starts in July, with 32 teams all stumbling toward one goal: The Dan Henning Trophy – symbolic of NFL Bottom Ten supremacy. Sure, Cleveland has the infrastructure in place for yet another Bottom Ten title, but veteran Bottom Ten fan(s) everywhere know you count out stalwarts like Jacksonville not to mention most of the NFC North, out at your peril. 

Of course, the Bottom Ten pollsters have the same questions you do: could a team lead wire to wire, or will it be like 2021 when only final game wins by the Jaguars and Lions paved the way for the Giants to ascend the throne???…Can Carolina carry the momentum of their NFL-best seven (7) game losing skid over into 2022? Will Bottom Ten pollsters come up with any fresh material this year? 

Editor’s Note: 2021 record in parenthesis.   

1. Cleveland Browns (8-9) – If anyone can rebound and go from eight (8) wins to a return to B-10 glory, it’s Cleveland a moribound franchise in prime position to reclaim pat B-10 glories after signing sexual predator to long-term, guaranteed contract…Next Loss: at Carolina

2. Jacksonville Jaguars (3-14; 2nd) – Owner Genghis Khan desperate for second B-10 title after blowing 2021 title with win in finale…Jaguars easy pick for fifth straight last-place finish, even in tough AFC South…Next Loss: at Washington

3. Detroit Lions (3-13-1; 3rd) – Another team that blew chance for yet another B-10 title with win in last game, Lions still solid pick to make it three (3) B-10 medal stand finishes in last four years…Opening Loss: Philadelphia

4. New York Giants (4-13; defending B-10 champions) – Giants fan(s) up in arms over humiliation of opening season out of B-10 medal stand, though recent instaiblity at GM and head coach means you bet against the Giants at your peril…Opening Loss: at Tennessee

5. NFL Overtime – Guys, it is still possible for NFL games to end in a tie, a fraud against fans, networks, advertisers and players…B-10 pollsters “pretty sure” they have no idea how NFL brass has been able to resist B-10 pollster’s pressure all these years.

6. New York Jets (4-13; 4th) – Jets hoping momentum from last-second loss to Tampa Bay in 2021 finale will translate to strong head of steam for 2022, where biggest challenges will be overcoming yet another strong draft and 3-0 preseason…Jets cannot be caught looking ahead to Week 2 showdown with Browns …Next Loss: Baltimore

7. NFC North – With both Lions and Bears expected to contend for B-10 medal stand honors, the Pete Rozelle Award – issued to NFL’s worst division – is their’s to lose…Literally.

8. Ed Koch Kup – With Giants and Jets not scheduled to meet in 2022, B-10 pollsters expect competition for award – symbolic of Gotham NFL futility – to come down to which check for donation to B-10 widow’s fund clears first. 

9. Carolina Panthers (5-12; 5th) – You hate to say it, but B-10 pollsters “strongly suspect” that opener vs Browns is a must-lose game for Panthers if they have any hopes of competing for B-10 glory in 2022…Next Loss: Cleveland

10. Don Criqui – B-10 pollsters “strongly suspect” Hall of Fame announcer deserves better than having name on lead line heralding the second worst NFL matchup of the week, but they haven’t been able to come to contract terms with Spero Dedes yet. 

Week 1 Clash of the Titans: Cleveland at Carolina
This Is Don Criqui Reporting: New York Giants at Tennessee

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