The Bottom Ten/NFL Week 12

The Bottom Ten/NFL Week 12
By Gaylon KentAmerica’s Funniest Guy™ 

With parity – eight (8) teams have a “winning” percentage of .333 or less – all the rage in the race for The Dan Henning Trophy – symbolic of NFL Bottom Ten supremacy – in 2023, Bottom Ten fan(s) everywhere are taking comfort in the consistency offered by the Panthers, Giants, and Patriots, who are back on the Bottom Ten medal stand this week. 

And all eyes are on New York City this week, where yet another B-10 showdown game looms, as the #2 Giants host the #3 Patriots. 

This week’s mess, as the nags approach the far turn:

1. Carolina Panthers (1-8; lost to Chicago 16-13) – Game not as close as score indicates, as Panther offense only produces two (2) field goals…Old NFL adage that on any given Sunday any team can beat any other waived for Panthers for rest of 2023 season…Next Loss: Dallas

2. New York Giants (2-8; lost to Dallas 49-17) – Giants show Week 1 40-0 pasting vs Cowboys was no fluke in another blowout loss…After playing six (6) of last nine (9) games on road, Giants hoping remaining stretch of home cooking won’t stall momentum of best B-10 run since 2017……Next Loss: at Washington

3. New England Patriots (2-8; lost to Indianapolis 10-6) – Bill Belichick angrily texting B-10 pollsters wondering what Patriots have to do to move up in first-ever B-10 title chase, with pollsters pointing out loss to Giants in this week’s B-10 Game of the Century wouldn’t hurt…Next Loss: at NY Giants

4. NFL In Germany – Germans threatening to bring concentration camps over tyranny of being forced to watch Patriots/Colts as teams forge new fans all over Rhineland with nine (9) punts, three (3) interceptions, and two (2) missed field goals.

5. Tennessee Titans (3-6; lost to Tampa Bay 20-6) – After careless 2-2 start to season, Titans on B-10 schneid having lost four (4) straight…Though Jaguars curious resurgence had taken some of the luster of this week’s showdown, Titans know this is a must-lose game…Next Loss: at Jacksonville

6. NFC South (14-24) – Another routine week for NFC South, with another easy selection for B-10’s coveted, weekly, Pete Rozelle Award – issued to league’s worst division – with the Saints in first place with 5-5 mark and everyone else below .500.

7. Chicago Bears (3-7; defeated Carolina 16-13) – Win could not have come at worse time for Bears, who have wasted strong 0-4 start by splitting last six (6) games…Only having loss in hand to Packers keeping Bears ranked ahead of Green Bay…Next Loss: at Detroit

8. Green Bay Packers (3-6; lost to Pittsburgh 23-19) – Offense overcomes rare 3rd-quarter lead with interceptions on final two (2) drives…Week 1 win over Bears still hinders, though loss to Giants on 12/11 could rekindle B-10 medal stand hopes…Next Loss: LA Chargers

9. Atlanta Falcons (4-6; lost to Arizona 25-23) – Loss to last week’s #1 team heralds the Vikings are back, following type of stunning, last-scond loss that generally leads straight to B-10 glory…Current three (3)-game skid tied for best in league…Next Loss: New Orleans

10. Arizona Cardinals (2-8; defeated Atlanta 25-23) – Last week’s #1 stumbles all the way to #10, with morale-depleting win with field goal on final play…With sheer depth of 2023 B-10 field, Cardinals need another six (6)-game losing streak to get back in medal stand contention …Next Loss: at Houston

This Week’s Clash of the Titans: New England at NY Giants
This Is Don Criqui Reporting: New Orleans at Atlanta


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