The Bottom Ten/NFL Week 12

The Bottom Ten/NFL Week 12
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Another one bites the dust.

This time it was San Francisco unable to handle the spotlight’s glare, winning their first game of the season, leaving Cleveland, not for the first time, as the NFL’s only unvictoried team.

The 49ers win, not to mention Cleveland coming back strong off its bye week with another loss, means the race for The Dan Henning Trophy – symbolic of NFL Bottom Ten supremacy – is wide open, with the Giants and Broncos now standing by should Cleveland falter and win.

This week’s imbroglio, as the nags approach the far turn:  

1. Cleveland Browns (0-9; lost to Detroit Lions 38-24) – Lions, the NFL’s only 0-16 team, send Browns off to continue their own 0-16 quest with their blessing following decisive win…Browns 32nd NFL team to start season 0-9…They were also the 30th…Next Loss: Jacksonville

2. New York Giants (1-8; lost to San Francisco 31-21) – Giants laugh at B-10 pressure, moving into B-10 runner-up spot with clutch road loss, snapping 49ers 10-game losing skid…Giants show type of mettle that leads straight to B-10 medal stand, blowing two (2) leads…Next Loss: Kansas City

3. Denver Broncos (3-6; lost to New England 41-16) – Denver puts special in special teams, turning ball over on muffed punt and blocked punt while allowing kickoff return for touchdown…Broncos going down harder than whore with fleet in, ascending B-10 medal stand with fifth straight loss…Next Loss: Cincinnati

4. San Francisco 49ers (1-9; defeated New York Giants 31-21) – 49ers blink in B-10 showdown game, ending chase for 0-16 season with victory after 0-9 start…Defense given extra wind sprints after game, after refusing to allow Giants to score after offense contributes two (2) turnovers…Next Loss: Seattle

5. Cincinnati Bengals (3-6; lost to Tennessee 24-20) – Bengals right in thick of it following third (3rd) loss in four (4) games…Bengals at crossroads to start second half, with gut-check, must-lose showdown game this week…Next Loss: at Denver

6. Chicago Bears (3-6; lost to Green Bay 23-16) – Bears penalized for 78-yards, rush for 55-yards for league-best 1.41818181-to-1 Penalty Yards-To-Rushing Yards ratio…Bears must remain focused and not get caught looking ahead to December showdowns with 49ers and Bengals…Next Loss: Detroit

7. Indianapolis Colts (3-7; lost to Pittsburgh 20-17) – Never-say-die Colts save best for last, never trailing until allowing game-losing field goal on final play…Offense chips in with fourth-quarter interception setting up game-tying touchdown…Next Loss: Tennessee

8. New York Jets (4-6; lost to Tampa Bay 15-10) – Four (4) wins usually too many to garner B-10 ranking at this stage, but Jets shine brightly on B-10 radar with attention-getting loss that snaps Buccaneers five (5)-game losing streak ..Next Loss: at Miami

9. Houston Texans (3-6; lost to Los Angeles Rams 33-7) – Total team effort in this thriller, as offense produces four (4) turnovers, six (6) punts and a missed field goal while defense allows game’s last 27 points…B-10 pollsters still think Texans helmet logo looks like steer with mad cow disease…Next Loss: Arizona

10. AFC North (14-22) – With winless Browns and hard-charging Bengals, alleged NFL division easy pick for weekly Pete Rozelle Award, issued to league’s worst division…Bottom three (3) teams have combined to lose twelve (12) straight…Next Loss: Automatic berth in NFL playoffs, as league looking into shipping champion to Fritos Bean Dip Crack Whore Bowl.

This Week’s Clash of the Titans: Cincinnati at Denver
This Is Don Criqui Reporting: Jacksonville at Cleveland


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