The Bottom Ten/NFL Week 9

The Bottom Ten/NFL Week 9
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

While lacking the glamour of the Cleveland Browns chasing – and catching – history, the current race for The Dan Henning Trophy does see no less than three (3) 1-6 occupying the Week 9 Bottom Ten medal stand.

In other news, former Bottom Ten perennial Cincinnati, despite having a winning record, is welcomed back to the survey as Bottom Ten pollsters had warm, fuzzy feelings after their blowout loss to the Colts.  

This week’s fiasco, as the nags approach the back stretch:

1. San Francisco 49ers (1-6; lost to Los Angeles Rams 39-10) – After losing close one, versatile 49ers mail it in for blowout loss to undefeated Rams…Current five (5)-game skid best in league…Next Loss: at Arizona

2. New York Giants (1-6; lost to Atlanta 23-20) – Giants ability to lose close ones paving way to B-10 glory as four (4) losses have come by total of 14 points…Other two have come by total of 36 points…Next Loss: Washington Redskins

3. Arizona Cardinals (1-6; lost to Denver 45-10) – Cardinals not caught looking ahead to this week’s showdown with 49ers, as four (4) turnovers lead to routine blowout loss as Cardinals easily snap Broncos’ four (4)-game losing streak …Next Loss: San Francisco

4. Oakland Raiders (1-5; DNP) – Given week off after playing in London, Raiders held up at London airport as league tries to get Raiders to play remaining home games in Syria until new home in Las Vegas opens in 2020…Queen Elizabeth takes NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell out behind palace for beating for continuing to send lousy teams over…Next Loss: Indianapolis

5. NFC West (12-15) – With half of division occupying Week 9 B-10 medal stand, division easy pic for coveted, weekly Pete Rozelle Award, issued NFL’s worst division…Undefeated Rams only team with winning record as Seahawks holding down second place with .500 mark.

6. Buffalo Bills (2-5; lost to Indianapolis 37-5) – Bills charge into B-10 survey with blowout loss to lousy Colts squad that had lost four (4) straight…Five (5) points result of field goal, two (2)-run double in third quarter…Bills can take next steps on B-10 ladder with impressive loss this week on Monday night stage..Next Loss: New England

7. Cleveland Browns (2-4-1; lost to Tampa Bay 26-23) – Browns hardly juggernaut that won past two (2) B-10 titles, but still keeping tabs on B-10 medal stand race with first two (2)-game losing streak of 2018…B-10 pollsters still “pretty sure” they have some zero clue how tie will factor into final B-10 rankings…Next Loss: at Pittsburgh

8. Cincinnati Bengals (4-3; lost to Kansas City 45-10) – You can take the Bengals out of the Bottom Ten, but you can’t take the Bottom Ten out of the Bengals as former B-10 stalwarts thrill national TV audience with blowout loss…Bengals have four (4) losable games before 11/25 vs Browns…Next Loss: Tampa Bay

9. Indianapolis Colts (2-5; defeated Buffalo 37-5) – It’s a long season – and the Colts can still lose out, of course – but blowout wins never do anyone’s B-10 medal stand hopes any good…Colts face “gut-check” game this week, needing to rebound with strong road loss vs. Raiders…Next Loss: at Oakland

10. US Drone StrikesRegular entry in discontinued Sunday Bottom Ten feature makes first NFL B-10 appearance…To date in 2018, US has conducted 256 drone strikes in Afghanistan, Pakistan, Somalia, Yemen, resulting in 838 deaths with B-10 pollsters “pretty sure” most of these were military personnel…Next Loss: Civilian adults and kids who are in wrong place at wrong time.  – Source: Bureau of Investigative Journalism

This Week’s Clash of the Titans:  San Francisco at Arizona
This Is Don Criqui Reporting: Indianapolis at Oakland

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