The Bottom Ten is free this season.
The Bottom Ten/NFL Week 15
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
The race for the most coveted trophy in sports – The Dan Henning Trophy, symbolic of NFL Bottom Ten supremacy – is always fierce, but seldom has the Bottom Ten medal stand seen wonders such as the 2020 Jets, Jaguars and Chargers. And let’s not forget the Bengals and Bears, either.
Your Bottom Ten pollsters would like to acknowledge the recent death of longtime NFL coach Jim Hanifan, whose name graces the Jim Hanifan Medallion, issued annually in the NFL Week 2 Interregnum Poll and symbolic of NFL preseason lousiness.
This week’s fiasco as the nags are at the head of the stretch:
1. New York Jets (0-12; lost to Las Vegas 31-28) – Jets coaches working presentation for Strategies of the Great Coaches Series following botched defensive coverage in final minute…Jets twelfth team to start NFL season 0-12…Next Loss: at Seattle
2. Jacksonville Jaguars (1-11; lost to Minnesota 27-24) – Longest losing skid – eleven (11)-games – amongst teams that have actually won a game small consolation for owner Genghis Khan, who’s put bounty on coach/player responsible for Week 1 win…Next Loss: Tennessee
3. Los Angeles Chargers (3-9; lost to New England 45-0) – Despite beating Bengals in Week 1, Chargers on B-10 medal stand after earning first Post Office Award for 2020 for completely mailing this one in…Next Loss: Atlanta
4. Cincinnati Bengals (2-9-1; lost to Miami 19-7) – Out of ten (10) drives, offense produces two (2) with multiple first downs…Bengals fan(s) file official protest after being left off B-10 medal stand, claiming loss in hand to Chargers entitles them to higher ranking…Next Loss: Dallas
5. Chicago Bears (5-7; lost to Detroit 34-30) – Five (5) wins a lot for B-10 ranking, but Bears have lost six (6) straight, most amongst NFL teams that started season with three (3)-game win streak…Bears need to lose out to have realistic shot at coveted spot on final B-10 medal stand…Next Loss: Houston
6. Dallas Cowboys (3-9; lost to Baltimore 34-17) – Big midgame 20-0 run puts this one away relatively early…Cowboys in soul-searching mode, realizing had Falcons been smart enough to recover onside kick they’d have two (2) wins in be in hunt for coveted B-10 medal stand berth…Next Loss: at Cincinnati
7. Philadelphia Eagles (3-8-1; lost to Green Bay 30-16) – Eagles serious about 2020 B-10 glory, turning quarterback reins over from proven loser to untested rookie…B-10 pollsters “pretty sure” having to factor in tie into final rankings will be “like, dude, really hard and stuff”…Next Loss: New Orleans
8. NFC East (16-31-1) – Only question now is if division will go wire-to-wire in earning coveted, weekly Pete Rozelle Award, issued to NFL’s worst division…Division so bad first-place Giants have won four (4) straight, going from six games under .550 to two (2).
9. Detroit Lions (5-7; defeated Chicago 34-30) – Another five (5)-win team that needs help, but B-10 fan(s) over the years have learned to never, ever underestimate Lions…Win over Bears will add valuable strength-of-schedule points should, when Bears lose out…Next Loss: Green Bay
10. NFL – Though the number of teams with four (4) or fewer wins isn’t particularly high, the sheer amount of lousy football being foisted on fans in 2020 is awe-inspiring for B-10 fan(s) everywhere, as each week is seeming like Christmas. ..This trend isn’t going to end, either, as fewer kids play football, with top athletes choosing sports that don’t scatter their brains.
This Week’s Clash of the Titans: Dallas at Cincinnati
This Is Don Criqui Reporting: Houston at Chicago