Please enjoy The Bottom Ten with our compliments this season.
The Bottom Ten/NFL Week 16
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
The race for the most coveted trophy in sports – The Dan Henning trophy – symbolic of NFL Bottom Ten supremacy – is a contradiction in 2020:
The trophy, of course, is there for the Jets to lose, literally. On the other hand, should the Jets, somehow, manage to win a game, the Jaguars and Bengals stand poised to make strong pushes for the 2020 NFL Bottom Ten title.
This week’s fiasco as the nags are at the quarter pole:
1. New York Jets (0-13; lost to Seattle 40-3) – It’s not easy to travel cross-country and win in the NFL, but it usually isn’t this tough as Jets now squarely staring B-10 immortality in the face…Jets eighth NFL team to start season 0-13…Next Loss: at Los Angeles Rams
2. Jacksonville Jaguars (1-12; lost to Tennessee 21-10) – Offense sets strong, early tone with only five (5) first-half first downs…Owner Genghis Khan still threatening to behead player, coach responsible for win in opener that is preventing winless season …Next Loss: at Baltimore
3. Cincinnati Bengals (2-10-1; lost to Dallas 30-7) – Another team rounding into form at right time, Bengals have lost five straight, though they will need help to shed “worst team never to win B-10 title” moniker in 2020…Next Loss: Pittsburgh
4. Houston Texans (4-9; lost to Chicago 36-7) – A three (3) and two (2) two (2)-game winning streaks have Texans scrambling to save season that got off to such a promising 0-4 start…Squad cannot get caught looking ahead to showdown vs Bengals in two (2) weeks…Next Loss: at Indianapolis
5. Atlanta Falcons (4-9; lost to Los Angeles Chargers 20-17) – Falcons back on patented B-10 TitleTrak Radar with consecutive losses after stumbling and inexplicably winning three (3) out of four (4)…Loss to almost-as-lousy Chargers could provide valuable tie-breaker in final B-10 rankings…Next Loss: Tampa Bay
6. NFC East (19-32) – Despite surging Washington putting division dangerously close to having champion with winning record, NFC East still easy pick for weekly, coveted Pete Rozelle Award, issued to NFL’s worst division.
7. Carolina Panthers (4-9; lost to Denver 32-27) – Offense in midseason form, turning in five (5) drives with zero (0) or one (1) first (1st) down…Losing out would give Panthers an always tough to ignore eleven (11) losses in last twelve (12) games in quest for B-10 glory…Next Loss: at Green Bay
8. PhilaDallas EagleCows (8-17-1; Philadelphia: defeated New Orleans 24-21; Dallas: defeated Cincinnati 30-7) – An NCAA B-10 staple, Eagles/Cowboys form rare NFL B-10 combined entry this week…Both teams in rare position of being in B-10 survey, still able to clinch NFL playoff berth which B-10 pollsters are “pretty sure” is “like, dude, totally rare and stuff…Next Losses: Philadelphia: at Arizona; Dallas: San Francisco
9. Los Angeles Chargers (4-9; defeated Atlanta 20-17) – Another team that can’t lose the big one in 2020, Chargers unable to muster key turnovers as B-10 medal stand hopes crumble in win over lousy Falcons…Next Loss: at Las Vegas
10. Pittsburgh Steelers (11-2; lost to Buffalo 26-15) – Though late run too late for coveted spot on B-10 medal stand, Steelers can secure place on patented B-10 TitleTrak Radar with loss to Bengals this week…Next Loss: Cincinnati
This Week’s Clash of the Titans: Pittsburgh at Cincinnati
This Is Don Criqui Reporting: New York Jets at Los Angeles Rams