The Daily Dose/Sunday, May 16, 2021

The Daily Dose/May 16, 2021
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Editor’s Note: Gaylon is working on a project and most elements of The Daily Dose – Leading Off, The Sunday Bottom 5, On This Date, Some Philosophy Crap, Trivia – are either on hiatus or running intermittently. Your full-service Daily Dose will return, probably later this spring, though perhaps in the summer.  

The Sunday Bottom 5
A ranking of some things.

1. Ohio State Football Massage Therapist “Scandal”:  News of older, chick masseuse hoodwinking unwitting, horny football players into sex at therapy sessions shocking, as Sunday Bottom 5 pollsters “pretty sure” no Ohio State football player complained about this, asking the public to “like, trust us on this one and stuff”. 

2. GOP Voting Laws Hey guys, the voting laws you’re force-feeding residents in several states are mean and hardly in step with the principles of a nation conceived in liberty…Sunday Bottom 5 pollsters “pretty sure” it’s time for you guys to go the way of the Whigs and disappear???

3. Lauren Daigle Stop us if you’ve heard this before: single You Say still at #1 on Billboard’s Hot Christian Singles chart, now in its 128th non-consecutive week at top, a Billboard all-chart record…Morman Tabernacle Choir still envious, banking future chart success on slow jazz versions of Holy! Holy! Holy! Lord God Almighty and Morning Has Broken coming out later this summer. 

4. Liz Cheney Removed from House leadership position for having nerve to try and rescue GOP from clutches of lying sexual predator who believes the Revolution was won by Continental Army securing British airports…Sunday Bottom 5 pollsters still scratching heads over which of these elements continues to impress Trump supporters. 

5. Mideast Turmoil While Sunday Bottom 5 pollsters mindful that people have been fighting in Mideast for centuries, they are going to bother to deplore the bombing of building in Gaza City that housed Associated Press offices…They are grateful, though, that Israelis gave an hour’s notice of attack. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

It’s Read Free Sunday at The Diary. Enjoy.

The Diary of a Nobody – At the hotel, Q announces he is no longer keeping track of his reward club signups. Today’s Diary. 

Instead, in deference to the fact he wins the rewards club sign-up race handily each month, he announced there is now an infinity symbol next to his name…This made me laff because Q can affect a pretty snobbish air at need and I went to the back office and checked and sure enuff, next to Q’s name was an 8 lying on its side.

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

The problem was you had to keep choosing between one evil and another, and no matter how you chose, they sliced a little bit more off you, until there was nothing left. At the age of 25 most people were finished. A whole god-damned nation of assholes driving automobiles, eating, having babies, doing everything in the worst way possible, like voting for the presidential candidate who reminded them most of themselves.
Charles Bukowski
Ham On Rye

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