The Daily Dose/Tuesday, January 12, 2021

The Daily Dose/January 12, 2021
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience. 

HUT, HUT, HIKE: Whew, at least that’s over. 

COVID has claimed more than its share of victims, of course, but thank goodness the Nick Saban Invitational – AKA the College Football Playoff – wasn’t one of them. Despite sick players and canceled games, major division college football in the United States was able to crown a national champion when Alabama named the score against Ohio State Monday night. 

Dry, Technical Matter: It was the 18th national title for Alabama, the most amongst any school currently playing major division college football and the seventh for head coach Nick Saban, breaking a tie with – all rise – Bear Bryant for the most amongst major division head coaches in the modern era. 

More Dry, Technical Matter: Saban has won six national titles with Alabama and one with LSU. 

Oh, Jesus H: Princeton and Yale can both claim more national titles than Alabama, most of them coming in the 19th-century and none since 1950. 

Can We Get Back On Message Here?: Was college football season worth it? Don’t be silly, of course, it was because the NCAA was able to complete its mission of simultaneously being pimp, whore and john, able to strafe the marketplace of every last possible dollar off the backs of their unpaid labor. 

Even More Dry, Technical Matter: Sure, the Big Ten and the Pac-12 tried to cancel their seasons, but the SEC showed the way, showing the importance of college football by getting a mostly full conference schedule in so they could completely maximize TV revenues.  

Fly In The Ointment: Sure, some players came down with COVID, but so were college kids everywhere and if years from now former players have respiratory and heart problems thanks to the COVID they caught making money for their colleges, oh well, at least Alabama won the national title. And players don’t have any pesky long-term health benefits that need to be paid for, either. In fact, they don’t even have short-term benefits, any needed medical care being paid for by their personal insurance policies. 

The Bottom Line: The NCAA was brilliant this year, showing even less leadership than we were already accustomed to. Their sole purpose is to consolidate wealth and power for the biggest of the big college football teams and by deferring the decision whether or not to play football this year to the SEC, they were able to fulfill their only real mission: getting the big schools in the big-money games. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody –  Sparrow has the latest office supply news from the hotel. Today’s Diary.

The big news at the front desk is one of the paper clip holders only has the medium-sized clips in it now…Recall a couple-three weeks ago some wizard – not thought to be Nicole – started putting small paper clips in with the medium-sized one, which was a pain in the neck because when I pour out paper clips when I’m preparing key packets/registration cards for the day’s arrivals I don’t need a bunch of small paper clips that won’t be used and need to be returned to the holder…It wasn’t that big of a problem for me to actually go and do anything about, but I’ll admit it is good for morale to only have medium-sized clips in there again. 

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On This Date
The long march to today. 

In 1991 – The United States Congress passes a joint resolution authorizing the US to conduct military action in Kuwait, to expel the Iraqi army that had occupied it since August. Aerial and naval bombardment would begin on the 17th, a ground assault on February 24 and the war ended on the 28th. This was not the formal declaration of war detailed in the Constitution, merely the authorization for military action and providing the funds to pay for it. 

In 1918 – Joe Malone of the Montreal Canadiens becomes the first NHL player to score 20 goals in a 9-5 victory over the Ottawa Senators. Malone had five goals, giving him 20 in the NHL’s first season. It was also the eighth consecutive game scoring a goal for Malone, who would go on to score in the Canadiens’ first 14 games, still the NHL record most consecutive games with a goal from the start of a season. This remains the only record started or established on a league’s first day of playing games that is still extant

In 1963 – Steve Lawrence is at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the first of two consecutive weeks with Go Away Little Girl. It was the eighth Top 40 hit for Lawrence, his fifth Top 10 hit and remains his only #1 song. The song also went to #1 in Australia, peaked at #14 on Billboard’s soul chart and a version by Donny Osmond in 1971 also topped the Hot 100, making the song the first nine songs that have topped the Hot 100 by different artists.

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

When the archer misses the center of the target, he turns round and seeks for the cause of his failure in himself.
Will Durant
The Story of Civilization, Vol I: Our Oriental Heritage

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.

The Beatles have had 19 #1 albums on the Billboard 200 chart. 

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard. 

How many goals did Joe Malone have in the 1917-18 season? – Answer next time!

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