The Daily Dose/Sunday, May 14, 2023

The Daily Dose/May 14, 2023
By Gaylon Kent – America’s Funniest Guy™

The Sunday Bottom 5
A ranking of some things.

1. NFL Schedule Reveal Good job NFL of taking a routine administrative detail that should excite no more than the two dozen or so scheduling geeks still living in mom’s basement and turning it into a two-day extravaganza of zero substance…Sunday Bottom 5 pollsters, however, do send props to geekoid who discovered Rams, 49ers, only teams in 2023 with four games each against teams coming off bye week. 

2. College Baseball – Baseball! – Betting Scandals Did we call it or what???…Betting scandals at Alabama, Iowa proved us right, that these were inevitable after college conferences, teams, decided to get in bed with legal sportsbooks…Anyone who thinks these are going to be the only ones are high, legally in more and more states.  

3. #USA! #USA! The 3-hole staple…Americans continue to tolerate mass shootings that will not stop as long as violent US government continues to produce violent US citizens…Founding Fathers expected to continue rolling over in graves as we continue to allow 2nd Amendment – designed to allow citizens to carry weapons needed on regular basis – to become license to hold any weapon mankind can produce.

4. King Charles III – You know, Chuck, you’ve served the family business well and Lord knows you waited long enough but boy, any coronation, especially one of this magnitude, seems out of touch in the third decade of the 21st century…Sunday Bottom 5 pollsters are hardly oddsmakers, but “strongly suspect” it’s only 75/25 Prince William is crowned and less than 50/50 there’s a throne for Prince George to inherit. 

5. Disneyland Corn Dogs Sunday Bottom 5 pollsters have “significant” street cred in this vital matter and are delighted to report red cart at end of Main Street, USA, remains 5-star dining…Just for funsies, you better get two as specific against lines being too long later in the day. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

Si, senor, es Read Free Sunday (RFS) este dia.

The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow is adjusting to the nesting robins. Today’s Diary. 

With the robins in residence for reproduction duties on the meter next to the kitchen door we’re officially using the front door now all the time now…

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On This Date
Extra, extra, read all about it.  

In 1796 – Humans are inoculated with a smallpox vaccine for the first time when English physician Edward Jenner inoculates his gardener’s 8-year-old son with pus from a cowpox blister. Jenner was inspired after noticing that milkmaids, who got cowpox blisters, were immune from smallpox. The last known case of smallpox was in 1977, it was declared eradicated in 1980, and remains the only disease us humans have so disposed of. 

In 1989 – Kirby Puckett of the Minnesota Twins ties the major league record for most doubles in consecutive games in a 13-1 win over the Toronto Blue Jays. Puckett had two doubles, giving him six in two games, tying the mark that had been done eight times previously. Puckett remains the last player to accomplish the feat and the previous day Puckett had tied the single-game major league record with four doubles against the Blue Jays. 

In 1983 – Michael Jackson is at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 for the third and final consecutive week with Beat It, the 5th of his 13 #1 songs. The song went to #1 in four other countries, including Belgium and Canada, peaked at #3 in Great Britain, at #1 on Billboard’s soul chart, and was Billboard’s 5th-biggest song of the year. The song was written by Jackson and features a guitar solo by Eddie Van Halen, who declined to charge for his talents. 

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.

In any weather, at any hour of the day or night, I have been anxious to improve the nick of time…to stand on the meeting of two eternities, the past and the future, which is precisely the present moment. And to use the lessons of the past to profit the future.
Henry David Thoreau
Walden

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.

The major league record for most career home runs by a pitcher is 37, by Wes Ferrell, from 1927-41. 

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.

How many #1 songs has Michael Jackson had as a solo act in Great Britain? – Answer next time!

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