The Daily Dose/September 5, 2026
By Gaylon Kent – America’s Funniest Guy™
Leading Off
Notes From Around Our Human Experience
HUT, HUT, HIKE: College football begins in earnest this weekend, and we are pleased to report the sport is as big a fiasco as ever. The Big Ten and SEC cannot agree on how to expand the CFP, everybody is still in it for themselves, and those cut from NFL teams want to enter the transfer portal.
And The Winner Is…: The Big Ten/SEC stalemate is a good example of the inmates running the asylum, and they can’t decide whether to expand the playoffs to 16 or 24 teams.
Get Your Official Daily Dose Policy Right Here: Both proposals suck. Longtime readers of this crap know we have long favored a 32-team playoff. Ideally, the NCAA would have sponsored this, but that is of no consequence. A 32-team CFP could begin Thanksgiving weekend, end on New Year’s Day, and would become an American classic faster than you can say “NIL”.
Fly In The Ointment: Nothing is really going to change because all elements – players, coaches, schools, conferences, networks – are all in it for themselves, everyone looking to strafe the marketplace – ultimately meaning you and me – for every last possible dollar. There is no common goal, except greed.
Dry, Technical Manner: The most recent quagmire involves players who left college after last season, gave the NFL a shot and didn’t make it, and now want to return to college. They are suing to return under a new NCAA rule that gives athletes five years to complete five full seasons, though the rule doesn’t apply to those who entered college in 2022. They are the ones suing, and the Power 4 conferences have all passed rules forbidding their return.
More Official Daily Dose Policy: We discussed this earlier: we say let them back in. They never played in a regular-season game – and some didn’t even play in an exhibition1 game – and the college teams they want to join all have millionaire players on their rosters anyway. Now, today’s college kids aren’t technically employees but they’re making money playing college football; those who left who would otherwise have been eligible should be allowed to return.
The Bottom Line: Everyone associated with major division college football is either a pimp, whore, or john, or, as likely as not, all three. But we’re going to watch anyway, meaning all five elements can keep strafing us for as much money as possible.
Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually.
The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow eats some fairly spicy food. Today’s Diary.
Half our blood is Mexican, but the love of spicy food completely bypassed us, and we’ve long avoided anything hotter than table salt…
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On This Date
Extra, extra, read all about it.
In 1774 – In Philadelphia, the First Continental Congress of the United Colonies opens its first session. Twelve of the 13 colonies – Georgia declined to attend – elected Peyton Randolph of Virginia president and accepted the credentials of the delegates. The Congress met at Carpenter’s Hall until October 26 and featured two future presidents of the United States – George Washington and John Adams – and one future chief justice, John Jay.
In 1921 – Elmer Smith of the Cleveland Indians establishes a new major league record for most consecutive extra-base hits in a 12-8 loss to the St Louis Browns in the second game of a doubleheader. Smith had two doubles and three home runs in the doubleheader, which followed two doubles the day before, for seven consecutive extra-base hits. Research into whose record he broke was inconclusive, and Earl Sheely of the Chicago White Sox tied it in 1926. Smith’s streak ended the following day with a first-inning pop out. – Editor’s Note: Some sources say Sheely had eight consecutive extra-base hits, but a check of box scores and play-by-play accounts show he only had seven.
In 1970 – Edwin Starr is at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 for the second of three consecutive weeks with War. It was the third of four Top 40 hits for Starr and remains his only Top 10 song. The song also went to #1 in Canada, peaked at #3 in Great Britain, at #3 on Billboard’s soul chart, and was Billboard’s 5th-biggest song of the year. The song was originally recorded by the Temptations, who declined to release it as a single, and in 1986 a version by Bruce Springsteen peaked at #8.
Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.
What did he do?/He made counterfeit dimes./Dimes? Jesus Christ, what kind of ambition is that?
Charles Bukowski
Ham On Rye
Answer To The Last Trivia Questions
Knowledge is power.
Igor Ter-Ovanesyan of the Soviet Union held the men’s world long jump record before Bob Beamon, jumping 27 feet, 4.5 inches in October, 1967.
Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.
Who holds the major league record for most consecutive at-bats with a base hit? – Answer next time!
