The Daily Dose/Saturday, June 8, 2019

The Daily Dose/June 8, 2019
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
We were going to offer our second installment in our thrilling series on the impeachment of American presidents today, but President Trump’s witless blather about the moon being part of Mars was too juicy to pass up. Here’s the exact quote, from a tweet Friday morning: 

For all of the money we are spending, NASA should NOT be talking about going to the Moon – We did that 50 years ago. They should be focused on the much bigger things we are doing, including Mars (of which the Moon is a part), Defense and Science!

Forget anything drummed up by the Mueller Report, Trump should be impeached for this breathtaking lack of knowledge alone. Good gravy, how do you navigate 70+ years on this planet without knowing that Mr Moon is in no way, shape, or form part of Mars?

We’ll tell you how: you have a complete and utter disinterest in anything other than yourself. This is not surprising in Trump’s case: for virtually his entire public life the only talent he has regularly displayed is an awe-inspiring one for attracting attention to himself. It appears to be the only thing he is really good at and he doesn’t much care about anything else. 

Let me ask you this: how long have you known Mr Moon is not, has never been, a part of the Martian Planetary System? We’ve known since we were five, though it should be noted crap like this has always interested us. On the first day of school, the first book we opened was our science book, to see what the latest news on Saturn was. Now, five, perhaps, is a bit young to know this, but is not, however, unreasonable to expect middle schoolers to know the moon is not part of Mars.

As sometimes happens with Trump, his blather hid a relevant point: we should not bother returning to the moon. We did it 50 years ago and while modern technology might yield new information, unmanned probes can find it. There is no reason to send men and women there again. 

Long-time readers of ours know we feel America could have had humans on Mars in the 1980s if we had wanted to. We didn’t, though, but that does not mean we can’t start now. Maybe we could send Mr Trump, so he can get a first-hand look at how far apart the moon and Mars really are.

Today At The Site
The Diary of a NobodyBrad pronounces the Sparrow’s pull-out couch as almost unsleepable and Sparrow lays the hammer down at the VSO. Today’s Diary.

I don’t even know that he’s a veteran and, two, if you come to town without a place to stay arranged, don’t be surprised if I am unwilling and unable to move mountains to find you a place to stay…It’s too cold up here for there to be homeless people and there are absolutely zero support services for them…I eventually had to tell him I had nothing for him, which sounds cruel but sometimes you have to be firm…If you’re a softie here the next thing you know he’s staying with you…Then he asked if I was available this weekend – for up-to-the-minute lodging updates I imagine – and I said no and I guess he got the message that I was not the go-to guy for homeless weekend getaways and he rang off. 

It’s Sparrow, an average man passing an average life.

The drivel simply does not stop: please click on the button to read The Diary of a Nobody. $5.99 includes all entries, past, present, and future.

On This Date
In 1789 – What eventually become the Bill of Rights are introduced in the United States House as twelve amendments to the Constitution. The House approved them in August and sent them to the Senate, who got snitty and made some changes. Eventually, a joint conference committee made changes that both houses approved and they were sent to the several states on September 28. Ten would be ratified in December 1791 and would become the Bill of Rights. Another, now the 27th Amendment, was approved in 1991 and the twelfth, never given a deadline for ratification, is technically still pending, now requiring 27 more states for ratification.

In 1986 – The Boston Celtics win the NBA title defeating the Houston Rockets 114-97 in Game 6 of the NBA Finals. It’s the Celtics 16th NBA title, extending their record, their second in three years and third in the last six years. They would win their 17th in 2008, still one better than the Los Angeles Lakers’ 16 NBA titles.

In 1963 – Lesley Gore is at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the second and final week with It’s My Party. The song also went to #1 in New Zealand and Australia and the following week It’s My Party began a stretch of three consecutive weeks at #1 on Billboard’s soul chart. It was Gore’s first chart single and she would follow that with three more Top 10 hits and seven other Top 40 hits. It’s My Party was also the first chart single for its producer Quincy Jones.

Hay had long known it was good politics never to to try to have the last word in a dispute; now he had begun to see the wisdom of not trying to have the first word, either.
Gore Vidal

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
The Philadelphia – now Golden State – Warriors, the New York Knicks and the Boston Celtics are the charter members of the Basketball Association of America that are still in the NBA.

Today’s Stumper
What is the Amendment that is still pending before the states, and which was the last state to ratify it? – Answer next time!


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