The Daily Dose/Friday, March 13, 2020

The Daily Dose/March 13, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience…

WHAT THE HELL’S GOING ON HERE?: We’re still not entirely sure if humanity’s losing its collective mind over the coronavirus or not. 

Running The Numbers: On the one hand, people keep dying. Thursday’s 354 deaths brought the worldwide death toll to 4,984 and was the highest daily figure yet. And the COVID-19 death rate of roughly 3.5 percent is significantly higher than the flu’s death rate of .1 percent. 

A Dissenting Opinion: On the other hand, there are 7.7 billion people on this planet and, relatively speaking, the number of people dying is small, almost statistically insignificant. On still another hand, the planet does not need another contagious respiratory illness running around. 

Ladies And Gentlemen Of The Jury: Our question, though, is, what is going to happen when COVID-19 becomes the norm? Because we haven’t wiped out the flu and it’s not reasonable to expect we’ll wipe this out, either. 

We can’t stay in lockdown forever. Us humans are, eventually, going to need to congregate in groups of more than a hundred. We’re going to need to go to conventions and root for our favorite teams and generally start being us again. 

Money Talks, COVID Walks: We suspect that eventually, the economic impact will become sufficiently catastrophic that we will collectively shrug and say screw it, go ahead and do things again because time sanctifies everything and those who make money will grow weary of losing it and want to start making it again. 

Fly In The Ointment: Which begs the question of why are we shutting down now, but we’re human and we are responding in a thoroughly human manner. Someone canceled this and then someone canceled that and before you know it everyone’s becoming part of the herd. It’s the way the world is built. And while we suspect we’re overreacting, maybe we’re not. 

Dry, Technical Matter: But we still remain baffled by the toilet paper hoarding. Fortunately, we stocked up while stores still had it. If you come bearing gifts we might favor you with a roll or two. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody: Sparrow has the latest MPG figure for the new ride. Today’s Diary. 

I filled up today at the new convenience store in our small town and the MPG figure for the new ride continues to increase – up over 1.5 MPG from last week – the horrors of last month’s sub-30 MPG figure now, thankfully, a distant memory. 

Click here to get in on the laffs: Sparrow, The Bottom Ten, the funniest books you’ve ever read. We offer 4Ever and Ever access, or cheapskates can purchase books and columns individually. 

On This Date
Great moments in us. 

In 1862 – The United States Congress passes an Act Prohibiting The Return of Slaves, prohibiting US military and naval personnel from returning slaves who had fled their owners during the Civil War. The act would be signed by President Lincoln and nullified the Fugitive Slave Act, which required the returning of slaves and also laid the foundation for the Emancipation Proclamation, which Lincoln signed the following January. 

In 1962 – The Boston Celtics establish a new NBA record for most wins in a season, winning their 60th game 142-110 over the Syracuse Nationals, now the Philadelphia 76ers, breaking the record of 59 they had established in the 1959-60 season. The Celtics would break this record with 62 wins in 1964-65 and the record for most wins in an NBA season is now held by the Golden State Warriors, who won 73 games in 2015-16. The Celtics would go on to win the NBA title, defeating the Los Angeles Lakers 4 games to 3 in the NBA Finals. 

In 1976 – The Four Seasons are at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the first of three consecutive weeks December, 1963 (Oh, What A Night). It was the fifth and final #1 song for the group and their first since Rag Doll in 1964. The song also went to #1 in Canada, South Africa and Great Britain, was Billboard’s fourth biggest song of the year and the song returned to the Hot 100 in 1994, peaking at #14. The song was written originally set in 1933, celebrating the end of Prohibition. 

Quotebook
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

When a simpleton abused him, Buddha listened in silence; but when ‘the man had finished, Buddha asked him: “Son, if a  man declined to accept a present made to him, to whom would it belong?” The man answered: “To him who offered it.” “My son,” said Buddha, “I decline to accept your abuse, and request you to keep it for yourself.”  – Will Durant, The Story of Civilization, Vol I: Our Oriental Heritage 

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know. 

Sonny James holds the Billboard country chart record for most consecutive #1 songs with 16 between 1967 and 1971.
Editor’s Note: holiday songs and duets are not considered when counting consecutive #1 songs. 

Today’s Stumper
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar. 

How many #1 songs did the Four Seasons have in Great Britain? – Answer next time!

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