The Daily Dose/Wednesday, September 9, 2020

The Daily Dose/September 9, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience.

Leading Off appears to be on strike. It will return.

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody: Sparrow has a funny line at the hotel.  

I didn’t particularly want to ring up the sale, on the other hand, if they’re given away the dude in line might think it’s open season at the sundry stand and want free stuff, too…Boo to that…It’s not open season at the sundry stand but he would make a good point, so here’s what I told our regular guest: 

“Sir, those are with my compliments tonight…We have a new promotion: stay 30 or more nights and get two complimentary bags of chips.” 

Backstairs at the Monte Carlo: Rich and Gaylon have a rather dull discussion about the schedule. 

An almost interesting tidbit here is that Ted will be calling off so he can get a head start on vacation. Rich and I spent not too much time discussing whether they went with an OT Mary unit because they knew this, because Ted’s been blabbing about this for a month.

The Bottom Ten Presented By COVID-19/NCAA Week 2: The 2020 Best Of Tour continues with the 2017 Week 2 column, offered with our compliments.

First-ever East Carolina Pirate appearance in survey has B-10 staff scurrying to find East Carolina on map, though B-10 pollsters “pretty sure” it’s somewhere near West Carolina…Or maybe Finland.

Free Stuff
The same trick the drug dealers use.

Backstairs at the Monte Carlo
Clock in with the graveyard crew of the Monte Carlo Security Department on the glamorous Las Vegas Strip.  – Click here for the first two months of the funniest Vegas memoir ever. 

Criminals, Courtesans and Constables
Gaylon’s latest novel takes place everywhere from throne rooms to death row. Click here to read the first four chapters with our compliments.

Click on the button to get started to read The Diary of a Nobody, Backstairs at the Monte Carlo and Criminals, Courtesans and Constables for only $4.99, a steal. 

On This Date
The long march to today.

In  1776 – The Second Continental Congress officially adopts the name United States. This order of business had been preceded by the naming of assorted members to a committee and was followed by the reading of a report from the Board of War. The journal for that day said simply, “Resolved, That in all continental commissions, and other instruments, where, heretofore, the words “United Colonies” have been used, the stile be altered, for the future, to the “United States.”

In 1984 – Walter Payton of the Chicago Bears establishes a new NFL record for most all-purpose yards in a career in a 27-0 win over the Denver Broncos. Payton had 186 total yards, giving him 15,517 for his career, breaking the record of 15,459 established by Jim Brown between 1957 and 1965. Payton retired in 1987 with 21,803 all-purpose yards and the record is now held by Jerry Rice, who had 23,546 all-purpose yards between 1985 and 2004. Payton is now third on the all-time list while Brown’s mark is now good for 30th. 

In 1978 – A Taste of Honey is at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 for the first of three consecutive weeks with Boogie Oogie Oogie. It was their first of four chart singles, their first of two Top 40 hits and remains their only #1 song. The song also peaked at #1 in Canada, at #3 in Great Britain and at #1 on Billboard’s soul chart and was Billboard’s ninth biggest song of the year. The following year, A Taste of Honey would win the Grammy Award for Best New Artist. 

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

…there is hardly any time for a man to impress his quality and passion upon a world which will continue after him, as unconcerned as it was when it preceded him.  – Gore Vidal, Julian

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know. 

Marvin Gaye’s biggest hit in Great Britain was I Heard It Through the Grapevine, which spent three weeks at #1 in 1969.

Today’s Stumper
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar. 

Who holds the NFL record for most all-purpose yards in a season? – Answer next time!

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