The Daily Dose/December 3, 2016

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The Daily Dose/December 3, 2016
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

HUT, HUT HIKE: Official Daily Dose Fave the Mount Union Purple Raiders football team continues its romp to its 20th Amos Alonzo-Stagg Bowl and its 13th NCAA Division III national championship, visiting Alfred College in Alfred, New York today in the quarterfinals.

Breakdown Segment: This is the second meeting between Mount Union and Alfred and we were as surprised as you to find out our Purple Raiders lead the series 1-0! In 2010 the Purple Raiders defeated the Saxons in the quarterfinals 37-7.

Alfred is somehow 12-0 and champions of the misfits that comprise the Empire 8 Conference. They defeated Bridgewater State (33-27 OT) and Western New England (30-24) in the first two rounds.

More Breakdown Segment: The winner of this game – Mount Union, of course – will play the winner of the Mary Hardin-Baylor/Wheaton game.

Getting To Know You: Alfred University – certainly not to be confused with the commoners at nearby Alfred State – was founded in 1836 by the Seventh Day Baptists and was originally known as the Select School. The origin of the name Alfred is unknown, though legend has it it was named after Alfred the Great, King of the Saxons. It has about 2,300 students and has won zero (0) NCAA Division III football championships, twelve less than Mount Union.

Great Moments In Racial Tolerance: Alfred admitted its first black students in the 1850’s, the second college to do so.

Brother Loves Traveling Salvation Show: It’s been a touring show for Mount Union this postseason, with the Raiders playing their third consecutive road game. Despite being defending national champions, the NCAA selection committee got snitty following Mount Union’s loss to a fine John Carroll team in the season finale. The win gave John Carroll the Ohio Athletic Conference title and an automatic berth into the

Yeah, Yeah, Whatever:  Speaking of John Carroll, they will play the evil bastards from Wisconsin-Whitewater today in another quarterfinal. The Blue Streaks had to make sure their shot records were up-to-date before getting on the bus for the trip to virus infested UW-Wherever, but otherwise should be in good health.

NCAA rules more or less mandate a winner in this game, who will face the winner of the St Thomas/UW-Oshkosh-By-Gosh in the national semifinals.

Dry, Technical Matter: Mount Union is in the national quarterfinals for the 25th consecutive year.

MEANWHILE: Major division college football, which has a four-team invitational playoff, could be facing delays in announcing which teams are going to which loser, second-rate bowl games.

The problem is Navy, which is enjoying a fine season. The Midshipmen are playing Temple in the American Athletic Conference championship game today and a win might keep them alive in the race for a berth in the Cotton Bowl.

It might not. Undefeated Western Michigan defeated Ohio 29-23 to win the Mid-America Conference title, a win that just might clinch the Cotton Bowl berth for them.

Either way, the selection committee might want to see the results of the Army/Navy game on December 10 to decide which bowl Navy goes to. This will affect other bowl assignments, meaning some teams and games might only have a few days to make arrangements and sell tickets.

FunFact: A 32-team NCAA Division I football tournament could’ve begun Thanksgiving weekend and end on New Year’s Day, don’t even start. It would keep sports fans completely spellbound for an entire month and making everyone involved a pile of cash besides. Instead, we face the possibility of not knowing who will be competing in the Fritos Bean Dip Classic until the last minute.

Oh, The Humanity: It could also adversely affect the Bottom Ten Bowl Game edition, scheduled to move next Tuesday. Or it could result in hilarious, fresh material, never in any great supply at Bottom Ten headquarters.

A FREE SPEECH FREE ZONE: Over 800 students are arrested at UC Berkley on this date in 1964 after overtaking the administration building and conducting a sit-in.

God, We Love This State: The students were, in finest California tradition, protesting the prohibition of protests on UC campuses.

Insert Own ObamaCare Joke Here: The world’s first human heart transplant is conducted in Cape Town, South Africa on this date in 1967. It was conducted by Dr Christiaan Barnaard on a 53-yar-old male named Louis Washkansky, who was dying of heart disease.

Oh, What The Hell: After thoroughly examining Washkansky, Barnaard concluded nothing could be done to save him. So at 1 in the morning, after a 26-year-old man had died, Washkansky had his heart replaced in a 9-hour operation.

Fly In The Ointment: Washkansky would die of pneumonia on December 21.

Great Moments In Racial Tolerance: The donor who provided the heart, Denise Darvall, who had died in a car accident a few hours earlier, also had her kidneys donated to a 10-year-old black young man. Since Darvall was white, this caused no small amount of controversy in South Africa, where blacks and whites were still segregated.

Space…The Final Frontier: Pioneer 10 sends back the first close-up images of Jupiter on this date in 1973. Pioneer 10 had been launched in March, 1970 and Earth would receive her last signal in January, 2003, though the signal was very weak and provided no useable data.

Thought For The Day: The mind is like a parachute, it works best when it is opened. – The 14th Dali Lama

Answer To The Last Trivia Question: The only article of the 1783 Treaty of Paris that is still in force is the first one, which provides for the United States to be a sovereign nation

 Today’s Stumper: In the playoff format, which NCAA team has won the most football national championships? – Answer next time!

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