The Daily Dose/November 12, 2016

Today in Trump and go Mount Union!

The Daily Dose/November 12, 2016
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Foremost Humorist

TODAY IN TRUMP: A day after assorted cities heralded his election with riots, President-elect Donald Trump got down to the business of really screwing up the country by name the number of big donors and cronies you would expect a man in his position to name to his transition team.

Since Trump himself has such a close connection with the legal system, it was not surprising to see New Jersey Governor Chris Christie on board, as two of his allies were recently convicted of public corruption in connection with some lane closures on the George Washington Bridge.

And In This Corner: Reince Priebus is likely to become Trump’s chief of staff. This isn’t any good, either. Priebus was the head of the same GOP that nominated Trump in the first place, so big picture he’s responsible for this hellhole.

Well, Aren’t We Just A Worry Wart Today: The destruction of America has begun, friends. The protests, some violent, were an exciting development in a country that has already become a shooting gallery. Years from now, when History begins sorting through the detritus of a collapsed United States of America, the election of Donald Trump may well be the line of demarcation used to mark the beginning of the American end.

The destruction will not happen overnight, but it will. Don’t doubt that. A country already mired in war and debt and a tearing social fabric will be split even further.

Don’t Blame Me: I voted for Libertarian Gary Johnson for president. Not only that, I put my money where my mouth was by running for Congress, but Gaylon For Congress could only muster five percent of the vote.

The Long Haul: It ain’t going to get any better, friends. Trump was a misfit of a private citizen, an embarrassment as a candidate and there is no reason to think he will be anything less than a disgrace as a president. We elected a man whose only real talent is drawing attention to himself.

And Justice For All: This week Trump lost a ruling in his lawsuit brought former students of Trump University who claim they were defrauded. This is consistent with reports that indicated Trump U was nothing more than a boiler room operation bilking people out of their money. The judge in the case advised both sides to settle.

Oh Yeah: Trump’s civil trial on statutory rape and other assorted charges begins next month.

HUT, HUT, HIKE: Official Daily Dose Fave the Mount Union Purple Raiders football team plays for its 25th consecutive Ohio Athletic Conference championship today, facing John Carroll at home.

Breakdown Segment: John Carroll (8-1) is enjoying a fine season – by John Carroll standards, that is. They have won eight straight after an invigorating season-opening loss to Wisconsin-Oshkosh-By-Gosh. The Blue Streaks are looking for their fourth OAC title and their first since 1994. The winner of this game, Mount Union, of course, gets the OAC’s automatic berth in the NCAA Division III playoffs. The loser has to scrounge for an at-large bid.

More Breakdown Segment: This is the 36th meeting between the two teams. This will surprise you, but Mount Union leads the series, 31-2-2, and have won 27 straight. The last time our Raiders didn’t win was in 1991 when the two teams tied 20-20 and John Carroll’s last win was in 1989.

Getting To Know You: John Carroll is a Catholic school near Cleveland. It was founded in 1886 by Jesuits who had fled Germany and its evil Lutherans. It was originally known as St Ignatius College, was renamed John Carroll in 1923 after the first Catholic archbishop of the United States and began admitting women in 1968.

FunFact: Mount Union is the defending NCAA Division III champions, defeating St Thomas in the 2015 Amos Alonzo Stagg Bowl.

For The Record: Our Purple Raiders have won twelve NCAA Division III football titles, a record and have been runners-up seven times. Mount Union has won 24 straight OAC titles and 27 overall. New reader(s) mare probably scratching their heads and wondering what’s going on, but regular readers of this crap know this column has been chronicling our Purple Raiders for many years.

Oh Yeah: Mount Union has won 112 straight regular season games and are 234-9 since 2000.

Let’s Take A Look At The Rankings, Phil: Mount Union is ranked #1 in the latest poll, followed Mary Hardin-Baylor, the bastards from Wisconsin-Whitewater and St Thomas.

MORE HUT, HUT, HIKE: William Heffelfinger, commonly known as Pudge, becomes the first professional football player in America – or anywhere else, for that matter – accepting $500 to play for the Alleghany Athletic Club on this date in 1892.

The Post Game Show Is Brought To You By Old Style Beer: Heffelfinger earned his keep that day, scoring the game’s only points when we recovered a fumble and returned it for a touchdown as Alleghany defeated the Pittsburgh Athletic Club 4-0.

Dry, Technical Matter: $500 in 1892 was equal to about $13,000 in today’s dollars. Inflation has also hit football scoring, as a touchdown is now worth six points instead of four.

Great Moments In Serving The Motherland: Leon Trotsky is expelled from the Communist Party of the Soviet Union on this date in 1927, leaving Joseph Stalin in command. Earlier, he had lost his position in the party and in 1929 he was exiled to Mexico.

As a reward for his faithful service, Stalin had Trotsky murdered in 1940.

Thought For The Day: To accept with tranquility whatever happens is to put oneself beyond sorrow or joy – A Chinese maxim

Trivia Time: Who are the cheatingest bastards n NCAA Division III football? – Answer next time!

Answer To The Last Trivia Question: The Cleveland Indians now hold the record for longest time since last winning the World Series at 68 years.


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