The Daily Dose/Wednesday, October 2, 2019

The Daily Dose/October 2, 2019
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around our human experience:

PLAY BALL: As usual, baseball is shooting themselves in the foot during the playoffs by having too many days off between games. There is no reason to foist four days off on the Minnesota Twins and New York Yankees, or their fans, before they begin their division series. Baseball is best played – and enjoyed – on a daily basis and the only time a team should have more than one day off during the playoffs is when they are waiting for an opponent to finish their series. 

And while it is a lot of fun to criticize something without offering a solution, we have one here. 

Dry, Technical Matter: First, end the regular season on a Wednesday. This would give teams one last weekend gate and teams still playing meaningful games will still draw good crowds on weekdays. Both wild card games can be played the next day, Thursday. There’s no whining in baseball and teams objecting to playing a playoff game without the benefit of a day off should have won their division. Tough noogies. 

Wow, More Dry Technical Matter: After a day off Friday all four division series can begin on Saturday and for goodness sakes let’s stop this best-of-five nonsense and make them best-of-seven affairs because there is no reason to make teams travel twice in a five-game series. The leagues can stagger their days off so we avoid too many weekdays with four games, but all division series will end by the second Sunday of the postseason. 

Please Pass The Dry, Technical Matter: Also, instead of having the league championship series and the World Series starting on fixed dates, start them two days after the final qualifying series ends. Nothing drains team momentum and fan interest less than waiting several days for a series to start. There is no reason to make two teams and their fans wait for more than one day for their next series begins.   

Really Dry, Technical Matter: If this schedule had been followed this year the regular season would have ended today and if every series went the maximum number of games, Game 7 of the World Series will be played on Nov. 2 if the division series are best-of-seven, Oct 30 if they are best-of-five series. 

The Bottom Line: Baseball needs to do something because postseason TV ratings continue to go down harder than whores with the fleet in. A complete postseason schedule overhaul like this would keep momentum and interest from waning because of too many days off. 

Today At The Site:
The Diary of a Nobody
Sparrow gives a guest some wash cloths and hand towels. Today’s Diary. 

About 0313 a lady of 154 comes up and requests six wash rags and four hand towels…Wash rags and hand towels are from the strangest requests you’ll have working a front desk, but the specific numbers, and the time, of course, we’re curious…Oh-dark-thirty and you need six wash rags and four hand towels???…I couldn’t decide whether I did or did not want to know why these specific numbers of what’s known in the trade as terry (for terry cloth) were required right now…Maybe it’s some pagan ritual…It’s of no consequence…Inwardly, I applauded her commitment to cleanliness and toweling off afterward…

It’s Sparrow, an average man passing an average life

The Bottom Ten/NCAA Week 6 The race for the ESPN Cup rolls on as Rice, New Mexico State and Akron continue their occupation of the Bottom Ten medal stand. 

Here are some of the funny lines from this week’s NCAA Bottom Ten:

UMass fan(s) thinking B-10 title scratching collective head(s) wondering what the deal is, as squad uncharacteristically overcomes early deficit and interception to run the football, convert third downs and force turnovers.

Conference so bad B-10 pollsters considering Bottom Ten MAC Edition poll, as only three (3) of twelve (12) conference teams have winning record.

Turn-of-century merger of Athletic, Student Affairs departments actually pays dividends for Commodores as acrobats, mimes from Circus Studies department produce confusing defensive schemes that force Huskies into punting on first six (6) possessions

Click here to get in on the laffs. We offer 4Ever and Ever access, or cheapskates can purchase books and columns individually. 

On This Date
In 1980 – Michael Myers, a Congressman from Pennsylvania’s 1st District, becomes the first member of either chamber to be expelled since the Civil War when the House of Representatives removes him from office for having accepted a $50,000 bribe the previous year. Myers would later be convicted at trial and spent 21 months in prison. Myers was first elected to the House in 1976. Now 76, Myers is a retired contractor and still lives in Pennsylvania. 

In 1963 – Sandy Koufax of the Los Angeles Dodgers establishes a new World Series record, striking out 15 New York Yankees as the Dodgers win Game 1 5-2 at Yankee Stadium. Koufax struck out the first five Yankees he faced and broke the record of 14 Carl Erskine, also of the Dodgers, had established in Game 3 of the 1953 World Series, also against the Yankees. The Dodgers would sweep the series in four games, with Koufax also winning Game 4 in Los Angeles. The record is now held by Bob Gibson of the St Louis Cardinals, who struck out 17 Detroit Tigers in Game 1 in 1968. All three marks were established on Oct. 2. 

In 1961 – Ray Charles is at #1 on Billboard’s soul chart – then known as the Hot R&B chart – for the first of five consecutive weeks with Hit the Road, Jack. It was Charles’ 23rd Top 10 hit on the soul chart since 1953 and his sixth of twelve #1s.  The following week the song would begin a two-week run at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100, his second of four pop chart #1s. 

Quotebook
…America was not in a position to make demands, only to beg most humbly…Franklin was not subservient to our allies…he was pliable, humble…exceedingly polite…but absolutely unyielding…
David Schoenbrun
Triumph in Paris: The Exploits of Benjamin Franklin

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Nels Potter led the 1944 St Louis Browns in wins with 19.

Today’s Stumper
What was Ray Charles’ final #1 song on the Billboard Hot 100? – Answer next time!

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