The Diary of a Nobody – April 7, 2018

Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…

Saturday, April 7
One of the benefits to working at Hotel A is my relief only has to walk a few feet to get to work…There is an apartment immediately behind the front desk – it also has outside and hallway access so the night auditor can’t tell what time, and who with, the GM gets in – but Dave left a couple of weeks ago and Becky and Kathy, who work the desk here and at Hotel B moved in with their men.

And Becky was still late today!!!…I am not making that up!!!…At about 7:05 she pops her head out and advises her alarm had been set for the wrong time and she’d be right out…All right…And, actually, getting relieved 15 minutes is pretty close to right on time considering a wizard named Austin was sometimes two hours late, which really annoyed me.

At the retailer tonight I was putting some stuff away in automotive when I made the mistake of asking a gentleman if he needed help finding anything…He said yes, and proceeded to ask me questions about what fluids to put in his motorcycles to keep water out of the gas tank and whatnot…Or something like that…Regular readers of this crap know what I don’t know about cars and, needless to say, motorcycles, would make a good tech manual…He repeats his question and then points out a couple of additives, leading national brands that even an idiot like me recognizes and suggests they just might be exactly what they are looking for…I was relieved because this meant he was merely looking for reinforcement for what he had probably already decided to do…So I picked one of them up and read the label (a leading technique here at the retailer when you don’t know what the deal is with something) and the label claimed to do exactly what he needed so I nodded knowingly and immediately gave it the Sparrow seal of approval and urged him to buy several bottles just to be on the safe side…He thanked me profusely and I asked him if there was anything else I could do for him and fortunately, he said no and I fled before he could change his mind.

I got some time on my treasured Aisle 5 today…Recall this where you go when you want to tobacco stuff and one of the things we sell is a really gross plug tobacco product called Days Work…Well, we don’t actually sell it because we haven’t sold one in 14 months, but we offer it for sale…I know it’s been 14 months because I sold the last one and stocked the new shipment a bit later, which resulted in a new box plus a loose plug on the shelf…They are still there and they are all stale and hard as a rock and I should probably notify someone they should be sent back.

In other Aisle 5 news from tonight, a co-worker who had the night off came thru with a friend of hers…They are both Jamaican, tall and sturdy and the co-worker has a bosom that requires a separate introduction…I mention this because they were buying these really dainty panties that were on sale for a dollar and since I had to scrounge around to find the barcodes it was hard not to notice the word CHEEKY on the label and I was wondering, you know, who they were for because they would not fit these ladies…I think they might be sending them back to family in Jamaica…None of my underwear has cheeky on the label. 

Since I had time to kill, I went to the hotel early…Tho ski season is still going, conditions aren’t all that great and we are not busy…Nicole left me a slice of pizza…God bless this girl…I get left food at both hotels fairly regularly and everyone who leaves me stuff has their spot in heaven secured…She said Becky had actually left her some and she ate three pieces and left one for me…Later, she put some corn dogs out of her backback and transferred them to a plastic bag…Christ, I told her, I have no idea how she stays trim – she is really fit – because I gain weight merely looking at food like that

Nicole also reported she has a new house prospect…Recall she’s mad at her roommates because they keep stealing her deodorant and tomorrow she is going to look at a four-bedroom house downtown currently occupied by three other girls…I wished her luck because the rent was doable on what we make, rare for here because this is a ski resort town and sometimes it can be downright impossible for working people to find an affordable place to live.

Sparrow’s Sleep Log: 11am Saturday morning until 2:30ish Saturday afternoon…These are completely unsatisfactory numbers…I had been up for over 24 hours when I hit the sack and for some reason I could not fall asleep…I have some zero clue why…When I did fall asleep I was up three hours later to use the can because I’m old now and use the can constantly and I was unable to fall asleep again despite the fact I still a couple of hours before I had to get up.

The Diary of a Nobody is a novel. All elements are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Anything else is a coincidence.

The Diary of a Nobody was inspired by the 18th century British novel of the same name.

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