The Diary of a Nobody – Friday, April 27, 2018

Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…

Friday, April 27
The orange breakfast blend coffee is back!!!…I am not making that up!!!

Recall I had been drinking the retailer’s house brand blue packaged donut shop knock off coffee for a while now…Happily, because it’s really good, but I also like their orange breakfast blend, but our retailer is too small to carry too large a variety of coffee and they stopped carrying it after the initial roll out…However, Thursday we were at the retailer on our day trip to get The Wife a swimsuit for the hot springs and I decided to check the coffee aisle just for funsies when voila, the orange package was staring at me!!!…We needed coffee because the blue donut shop knockoff was running low, so I got a package of the orange and it tasted really good this morning.

I couldn’t spend all morning farting around fawning over my morning coffee, though, because I had a shift at the retailer, so I only farted around a little bit before diving in on the yard…There were some delays because one, I couldn’t find the mower…It wasn’t immediately visible in the carport, so I went and checked the shed and it wasn’t there…There weren’t any other places it could be, so I went back to the carport and found under a tarp, which had been under a rake and some bottles of washer fluid…It took a few pulls of the cord to get it started, but after that it ran great.

The mower needs some attention, tho…The rubber thingy that fit over the side discharge chute broke and now all the mowed grass goes out the side chute instead of into the back where the bag is…The Wife would like to get the blades sharpened this season, too, and do some maintenance on the engine.

Before I got mowing tho, I had to clean the yard…Regular readers of this crap may – or they may not – recall a couple of weeks ago I had raked the twigs and branches on the lawn into piles but Sparrow being Sparrow, I had never bothered to pick them up…I picked some of them and put them in the trash, but I did not have unlimited time so some got raked into the empty flower bed that is against the house.

The actual mowing was more work the usual, too, because we’ve had no shortage of snow and rain this month and it was several inches high, and there were a couple of places where it was thick enough the mower protested and threatened to shut down…The grass, I am pleased to report, remains its usual eclectic mix of grasses, weeds and whole grains and now that it is cut looks pretty sharp…There is still a lot of work to do, tho.

Again I found myself speaking Spanish to a Senegalese man today…I had just reported for duty at the retailer when I realized I’d forgotten my vest, which I took home to wash…I saw Mousa upstairs near the lockers and I asked him if he had an extra vest, explaining I’d left mine at home after I’d washed it…I might as well have recited the opening lines Onward Christian Soldiers for all he understood, so I tugged at the vest he was wearing a little and said tienes otro???…This is, more or less, Spanish for do you have another of these damn things???…Turns out he did, and he goes to his locker and gets it for me…Look, when you speak as much Spanish as I do, sometimes you throw it out at odd times, even when speaking to men from Senegal. 

Had a customer do a nice job of getting snitty with me today…This guy comes to the service desk looking have one the security band removed from the headset he had just bought…I do that and he mentions it rang up at $89 but the label on the shelf said $77…You gotta check these out personally because people try to scam savings like this from time to time…It’s a pain in the arse, but sometimes the customer is right, in which case we’ll charge him the lower price…So I go and, of course, the headsets are on the bottom shelf, necessitating ol’ Sparrow almost lie down and it turns out the price he was charged was correct…The headset he’d bought had gotten switched with the product next to it, which happens from time to time…I told him he was charged the correct price…He was not amused with my decision and said this was all f*cked up and I said sometimes products get moved like this and then he asked me if I was accusing him of moving them, which was pretty much an admission of guilt on his part, and I said no, of course not, but I still had to charge him the correct price, after which he walked out in a huff.

I will be presiding over the Legion District 14 meeting tomorrow morning…It will probably be my last one as commander after serving a couple of terms…Between working a lot and writing projects and whatnot I have completely derelict in my post and district commander duties and I have already announced I will not be running for another term as post commander…We’ll see if anyone wants the district commander job, tho…There might not be any takers because it is always tuff to rustle up a slate of district officers so they may well be content with my uninspired leadership, tho I hope not.

Sparrow’s Sleep Log: 11:30pm Thursday night to 7:30 Friday morning…A solid eight hours after the day trip with The Wife…I needed every one of them because I won’t get to sleep again until 1pm or so Saturday afternoon.

The Diary of a Nobody is a novel. All elements are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Anything else is a coincidence.

The Diary of a Nobody was inspired by the 18th century British novel of the same name.

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