The Diary of a Nobody/November 30

Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…

Friday, November 30
Boy, installing the new printer took forever last night…I started right after dinner, about 1830 or so, and it wasn’t done until well after 2100…I’m followed the instructions, too – they were easy enough for even a simpleton like me to follow –  but no luck….Almost interesting is the fact the printer thought it was set up…I gave it a test print and nothing, so I followed the instructions and printed a report generated by the printer that said it was connected to both The Shire’s wireless network and my PC even tho it really wasn’t…I threw up my hands and started an online chat with tech support and even he had problems, tho eventually they all got worked out. 

Got the OK from The Wife to put in for the vacancy on the Town Council…I downloaded the application and it’s pretty basic, some personal and employment info and that’s about it…Not too surprising, really, it’s a small town with the exception of me you figure everybody knows everybody and I’ve run for Congress twice since moving here from in town and I am not a complete stranger either…I really don’t want the vacancy to have zero applicants, so I will have my application in by the deadline…My recollection of covering municipal government as a reported it that it is 90 percent boring and ten percent really boring, so if there are multiple applicants and they pick some else, that’ll be all right.  

Swamped at the retailer today…I did a full shift and rare was the time when I was standing around doing not too much…The day got off to an exciting start when I got a new box cutter, or cutters as we call them…Those of you keeping score at home may – or you may not – recall I had given mine to Assistant Manager Wes a while back and I cornered Diana in the office and requested one…Nicely, because Diana and I aren’t BFFs, but I was in favor today because she produced a brand new one, still in the wrapper and complete with holster, which I threw away, because I keep the cutter in a vest pocket and the lanyard clipped to the zipper…It was put into immediate use, too, at the service desk opening a box of receipt paper.

After that, this idiot comes up wanting to return a phone card…He’d bought the wrong one and he indicated this wasn’t the first time buying the wrong one…He said he just bought it, too…I said, great, let me see the receipt and he said it was at home…I would have really enjoyed asking this wizard if he just bought it, how’d the receipt get home, carrier pigeon and why do you keep buying the wrong phone card, but when I told him the phone card was unreturnable he demanded to see a manager…All right…We all know my policy here…You want to see a manager, I produce a manager…It’s that simple, and Johnny answers my call and immediately implements what must be the new managerial policy of appeasement because when the guy produces the receipt – which was in his pocket – Johnny produces a credit for the phone card he did need, which is against store policy but store policy isn’t etched in stone, especially if you’re Johnny…I don’t really care…I would prefer we not return things that say “Nonrefundable” on them, but it isn’t my store. 

Spent some putting those product strips you see hanging off of shelves…They’re called impulse strips in the trade and they are designed to be attractively and strategically placed so you will buy whatever’s hanging from them…Today I hung some dryer balls – which appear to serve no purpose save to part you from your money – and straws…They’re really easy to work, too, as where to place them is on the back, on the other side of the price tag.

We were adequately staffed for being swamped, but then Lacey left at 1600, some checkers at 1700, Supervisor Thomas at 1900 and there was no other supervisor to relieve him, we think Maria got stuck in the big city, Susan and Jacki left at 2000, leaving just Buzz and me and Buzz left at 2130, leaving just me…Assistant Manager Zach came and relieved me for my break at 2030 and between being swamped and shorthanded we didn’t get half the things done that we like to do…I did get the car batteries taken to the back and put on pallets…Batteries are heavy – for some, not for me – so I take care of them, and I got the trash and hangers taken to the back, but that was it…There wasn’t time for anything else…The service desk is still swamped with go-backs…I felt so bad I left a note at the service desk apologizing and Zach thanked me for my hard work and said he’d smack anyone in the morning who said squat.

Sparrow’s Sleep Log: 0230 Friday until 0830 Friday…Six hours, 42 for the week, which regular readers of the crap will recall was the entire week’s total sometimes.

The Diary of a Nobody is a novel. All elements are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Anything else is a coincidence.

It was inspired by the 19th century British novel of the same name.

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