The Diary of a Nobody/October 19

Read Free Fortnight continues!

Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…

Friday, October 19
The water I boiled yesterday came in handy this morning…As far as I could tell – and I didn’t march down to the town hall to delve into the matter – we were still under the boil water or die order from Thursday when I was making morning coffee, so rather than waste the bottled water we keep I poured some the utility water from the big stew pot into the coffee pot…I tasted the utility water and, frankly, it didn’t taste any better for having been boiled…Later, they posted on the town’s website we could all resume not boiling water because it tested OK.  

Started spending some of the Sparrow For Congress war chest today…There isn’t much, but there is enough to boost a video I made till the end of the month and reach a fair number of people and Campaign Manager Jay took care of that because I was not allowed to…Faceplant is trying to avoid evil Commie influences in our elections so Jay had to register and the entire process actually involved the US Mail if you can believe that, despite the fact it’s late in the second decade of the 21st century and mail’s been around for centuries…The video talks about my usual campaign themes of empowerment, peace and fiscal sanity.

And I was in the paper again today…A week after they ran essays from us Congressional candidates, the Q&As they sent us ran today…I gotta be honest, after running for this seat two years ago and the United States Senate four years ago I am so blase about being in the paper now I didn’t even know it ran today until people at the retailer told me about it and while I read it I couldn’t even be bothered to take a copy home, tho rest assured I do have newspaper clippings from four years ago. 

The big news at the retailer was I got to use all three of my fave, classic lines in tonight: the lost and found line, the archaeological dig line and the kids are one-third off line.

The lost and found line was first…There were these two men wandering around the front end, plainly father/son and they had the look so I asked if I could help them find something and they said no, they were looking for the matriarch of the family so, of course, I pointed at and headed to the service desk and said let’s check lost and found…Then it turned out Donna didn’t know about the falsies so I filled her in and told her the old smile looked like an archaeological dig and then this young couple placed their toddler on the self-checkout station and from the service desk it looked like they were about to scan him and bag him up and I told them that and one of the kids said something or another and I said well, it’s a good time to buy because kids are a one-third off this week…All of these got the chuckles, if not from-the-gut laffs, they usually get, further proof that these lines never get old….Or so I think/hope.

Also, there’s a new code for making pages on the telephone…You used press 4-4-4-4 and that got you the PA system…Now, for reasons I’m sure will be explained to me someday, you now press 9-6-8…I have no idea why this is…4-4-4-4 was working fine, providing dependable access to the PA system…Not only that, the wizard who changed it screwed up and now when you lift the phone and hit the numbers customers are treated to a couple of seconds of pleasant reverb and it’s pretty loud, too, plus the volume on the PA system is now about that of a rock concert so you gotta hold the phone above your head so you don’t make everyone’s ears bleed.

And Nicole is back at Hotel B!!!…She was wrapping up swing shift when I reported for duty…Well, actually, she was sitting outside in the gazebo enjoying a pretty nice fall night when I reported for duty…We always got along really well and she’s funny and thoughtful and and it will be good to see her regularly again…She’s moved since we saw her last, into a big house with roommates on the far end of town, tho she still doesn’t have a car and I’m wondering what her boyfriend’s deal is because I think he should buy her one…She is exactly what we need right now…Every shift is filled now…Nicole has five, I have two and Puja as the other 14, but that’s in her contract and nobody forced her to sign it…

For the record, from here on out Hotel B will be referred to once again as Hotel B and the new hotel will be Hotel C.

Sparrow’s Sleep Log: 0100 Friday until 0830 Friday, 7.5 hours and campers that is 10, 8 and 7.5 the past three nights, don’t even start…

The Diary of a Nobody is a novel. All elements are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Anything else is a coincidence.

It was inspired by the 19th century British novel of the same name.

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