The Diary of a Nobody/October 27

Read Free Fortnight continues!

Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…

Saturday, October 27
Had a walk-in about 0100 or so this morning…It was a guy who looked beat and asked if we had two rooms…Sure, I actually had four rooms available and said I could do a room with two queen beds and one with one king bed and he said that would pass muster, but further interrogation revealed and it was him and a couple of buddies and I said you know, we have the only hotel rooms in the Western Hemisphere that have three queen beds and it’s priced to move, too, only $99 plus tax, half the price of two rooms.


The guy was funny, too…When his buddies came in he announced the best he could con me out of was a storage closet with a cot and while he wasn’t entirely certain, he had the highest level of confidence the floors would provide an adequate night’s rest for them and that their third of the bill would be $150 or so.

About 0600 or so I’m setting up for breakfast and a guy bit older than me comes down, grabs his morning joe and glass of OJ, sits down and turns on a sports channel…I’m putzing around getting breakfast ready and he sticks out a paw and introduces himself as Cliff…It’s plain he would not dismiss out of hand a morning’s conversation, preferably about regular guy stuff like sports and hunting.

Well, in this situation my job is to be friendly and, if possible, pull up a chair and join him, which I did after breakfast was up and running…Cliff’s talking points today were bears and college football, only one of which I’m able to talk about intelligently, so I just sat and listened when he told hunting and bear stories…Then Cliff allowed that he’s originally from Pennsylvania and had the usual football allegiances people from there have, and my team is doing uncommonly well this year so when they started showing previews of Saturday’s college games I was more than able to hold to hold up my end of the conversation.

No retailer tonight, so The Wife and I built a bookcase together.

(Actually, I was scheduled for a shift Saturday morning of all things, the latest instance of me being scheduled at times I have blocked out…I don’t understand this…The wizard making the schedule – and I am not entirely sure who it is – has access to my availability and it wouldn’t shock me if they had to press a button to override something like this and I am still regularly scheduled when I can’t work.

I am thru whining about this tho…I merely reported my impending absence online and when Assistant Manager Johnny, who does attendance, makes a smart-ass comment about it, and he will, I’ll say stop assigning me when I’m not available…If no one is around to hear us I’ll violate the Second Commandment, too, and take the name of the human form of the Christian triumvirate in vain, which will make him laff.)

We’ve assembled bookcases like this before and ol’ Sparrow can generally be counted on to be of some zero use here…As usual, the project involves dowels, or maybe they’re cowels, I never know, and cams and a bunch of other stuff I know squat about, tho regular readers of this crap know The Wife is completely in her element here. 

We began after I woke up, The Wife getting the preliminary fabrication work done while I conducted a flawless morning routine, with me diving in after being sufficiently caffeinated…I probably should’ve worn the overalls, and the official estimate of an hour-and-a-half is attainable only if you hired the Joseph and Jesus Carpentry Company  to help out, but in the end it was done, a solid bookcase built.

For the second night in a row Nicole did not have everybody checked in at Hotel B!!!…I am not making that up…I slammed the reg card down and pretended to be annoyed, which made her laff…She added the reservation was originally for Sunday and he called and added tonight which normally isn’t a problem except he paid in advance for Sunday night thru one of the ten million online booking companies hotels do business with now, which meant we didn’t have a credit card guarantee for tonight, only for Sunday night, so we couldn’t check him in because the virtual credit card was only good for a certain amount, so I made another reservation for tonight tho as I write this early on Sunday morning he still hadn’t shown up.

Nicole also reported that all continues to be chaos in her life…She and her boyfriend share a house with others and a bathroom flooded and mice – probably looking for someplace arm – are starting to appear and I suggested, in the spirit of helpfulness that, perhaps the flooding might drive the mice out but Nicole, who must’ve been a plumber in another life, said that much flooding might drive the humans out, too.

Sparrow’s Sleep Log: 0830 Saturday until 1430 Saturday…The Saturday Sleep Session (SSS) remains a complete mystery…As usual, when I got home Saturday morning I had been up for 24 hours or so and regular readers of this crap know that other times when I’ve been up that long I’ve been known to peel off a twelve or 13 stretch in the sack…But not for the SSS…I even took a PM before turning in and I will say I slept like a log – the 6.5 hours was straight thru, no getting up to use the can – and the only thing I can come up with is that I am so well rested heading into the Saturday Sleep Session that a few hours is all I need.

The Diary of a Nobody is a novel. All elements are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Anything else is a coincidence.

It was inspired by the 19th century British novel of the same name.

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