The Diary of a Nobody: Tue 6/26/2018

Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…

Tuesday, June 26
I tried to vote in our primary election today, stopping off at the courthouse to cast my ballot after work, because while The Wife had received one in the mail I hadn’t…I was too dumb to recognize this as a sign there was nothing for me to vote for.

Our state had changed its voting rules to allow voters to vote in primaries of parties they were not members of, but it turned out it only applied to voters who did not belong to a party in the first place…Crossing over from one party to another was not allowed…This, of course, explains why I didn’t receive a ballot in the mail, but I didn’t let that worry me because I’ve had problems getting ballots in the mail since we bought The Shire in 2014…This was because I had given them the wrong PO Box number and I recall receiving my ballot a couple of years ago, so not receiving one this year – especially when The Wife received hers – should have told me I was not allowed to vote this election because there weren’t any primaries in our small party.

This isn’t always the case…In 2012 I ran for Congress for the first time and I lost in the June primary to Greg G…We had both gone to the convention in March and I actually beat him by a couple of votes however state law dictates that everyone who receives more than 30 percent of the vote at the convention is entitled to be in the primary so it was Greg and I and he beat 60 percent to 40 percent…I don’t know whether Greg regarded ol’ Sparrow as the future of the party and didn’t want to bother or whether he just decided to stop running, but nobody in our party has seen hide nor hair of him since.

Sent a press release to the newspaper this morning concerning of Sons of the Legion meeting next week…You may – or you may not – recall that I am the new commander of the local Sons squadron and Tim is the new adjutant and we had lunch a couple of weeks ago to say “Hey, what’s the deal?” and we scheduled a meeting for the 5th.

I kept it short…Long enough to make the news brief section, but not long enough to bore anybody…I quoted myself a couple of times and told a bit about the membership requirements (a male descendant of someone who either is or was eligible for Legion membership) and that we are the only Sons squadron in the area, so you don’t have to live in our small town to join…When I woke up this morning I had an email from the publisher saying she’d run the blurb in the next couple of days.

Usually, I put the trash out Monday morning when I get home from work…This is so I don’t forget come trash day on Tuesday, but I forgot to put it out yesterday and I was fretting as I took it to the curb because the kid’s can across the street was turned to the side, which the trashman does after he’s picked up your trash…Now, I wasn’t worried too much because the are seldom here before 0800 and it is entirely possible the kid’s trash can was still out from the week before and I was pleased to note this evening that our trash had been collected, our can turned to its side and not still facing forward.

Sparrow’s Sleep Log: 0900 Tuesday until 1830 Tuesday…Nine – niner, as we say in top-secret radio code – and-a-half hours, each one well needed and except for getting up to use the can at 1045 I slept straight thru…No retailer today, so there was no need to fuss with an alarm clock and after farting around with feeding the cat and watering the flowers when I got home I went straight to bed, getting my usual two paragraphs in on the Alexander Hamilton biography before starting to doze off…At this rate, I should have the book finished right before I die.

The weekly total for the first three days is 31.5 hours…31-and-a-half hours!!!…Two weeks ago at this point it was 16 hours…God bless all of you.

The Diary of a Nobody is a novel. All elements are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Anything else is a coincidence.

The Diary of a Nobody was inspired by the 19th century British novel of the same name.

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