The Diary of a Nobody – Wed 7/18/2018

Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…

Wednesday, July 18
There’s a new breakfast attendant and a new front desk clerk at Hotel B…Blake is a tall, lanky kid who appreciates what I do for him a bit more than he probably should…I mean, I do put the breads and pastries out, and I turn on the warmer and the waffle irons, plus put the cereal and waffle batter out but, you know, that takes 15 minutes…And it’s not as if I am in the bakery all night making things from scratch, either, I merely pull things out of the refrigerator when I come in and take them to the breakfast area at 0500, all of which is in the Nite Auditor job description…It’s not as if I’m going out of my way…He is so grateful he once asked if he could make a waffle for me.

The new desk clerk has an odd name I tend to forget, but he’s a kid, too, with a great head start on lung cancer because boy, you can smell the smoke when you’re standing next to him and you also know where he’s been, too, because the smoke odor lingers for a bit after he’s walked away, which is some pretty hardcore smoking.

At the retailer today Mic and I got to talking about our egg shortage…We have been out of them more often than not the past couple of weeks and this is bad because this is a staple we sell a lot of and people are wondering why we don’t have them…Heck, we’re wondering, too, which led to me wondering aloud if the chickens were all on strike, a definite Line of the Year candidate…I told Mic we should bring in whatever eggs we have at home and sell them for $10 apiece.

This led to Mic, naturally, transitioning to yapping about Chinese food which, it turns out, Mic does not like. This reminded me of the time, like it probably does you, when Mic started, out of effing nowhere, yapping about putting a bidet in his personal crapper at home.

Anyway, it turns out Mic is suspicious of the ingredients the Chinese use, which is probably rich coming from someone from Senegal…I told Mic the Chinese live to be a hundred and their food is healthy but he was unmoved.

It turns out I was on the schedule Tuesday…I found out when I reported for duty and Mic asked how I was doing.

Uh, fine…Why, what have you heard???

Well, Mic said I hadn’t shown up for work yesterday and he was, you know, curious…Some inquiry showed I was, indeed, scheduled for an 0800 shift…I have no idea why this was…It wasn’t on my schedule when I checked it a few days ago, so it was added late, and I am not available at 0800 on Tuesdays so maybe they were thinking they’d just throw ol’ Sparrow in there just for funsies and see if I showed up because we are still very short handed.

Tho exhausted when I got home I still went to dinner at our local diner…This time they brought my treasured garlic cheese bread out before my burger…Recall last week they didn’t and I copped an attitude and sent it back…Todd, the new owner, even came out to say howdy…He should wear an apron…His shirt and pants were filthy after his days work and it wasn’t that great a look, but I didn’t say anything…Since he asked, I told him my meal was up to its usual high standard, which was true enough.

I paid attention to the yard, too, when I got home…I watered the gardens, necessary since I had been gone since Tuesday night, and I even hand watered the grass…Just the remaining brown areas, to show them I cared…I also fed the birds.

Sparrow’s Sleep Log: As usual, there is no sleep to report on Wednesday.

The Diary of a Nobody is a novel. All elements are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Anything else is a coincidence.

It was inspired by the 19th century British novel of the same name.

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