The Diary of a Nobody/January 2

Yay! It’s Read Free Sunday. By all means, enjoy today’s entry with our compliments. 

Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…

Saturday, January 2
Christ, nobody did anything while I was off…Everything needed attention: the sundry stand looked like it had been invaded by refugees, the stack of copy paper in the back office had one ream, both printer trays were nearly empty, the shredder was so jammed with paper it seemed likely shredding so much as a business card seemed likely to break it and there were only a couple dozen key packets.

Even the drawers were a fiasco…Both had over $40 in payouts and a C note…The left drawer had zero fives and the right drawer had six…The safe had zero quarters and the obligatory C note…And because no one is going to the bank Saturday and Sunday we’re stuck with this all weekend.

Now, some might whine about this, but not ol’ Sparrow because Rule #2 of the nite audit racket is don’t let the bastards on day shift wonder what you’re doing…(Rule #1 of course, is show up on time every night.)…Because if I’m whining about something, even a legitimate beef like no one doing squat when I’m gone, then the next thing you know someone is pointing out my deficiencies…And we don’t want that, of course, because then maybe my easy job is made less easy. 

Instead of whining, I made sure everything was shipshape: the sundry stand was stocked, the paper trays were stocked, I brought paper in from the storeroom, the shredder bag was emptied (actually twice, because there was no small amount of shredding to do, tho that’s not included on the List of Grievances) and yours truly put new wifi code labels in 120 key packets.

It’s still dead slow, especially for a weekend in ski season with no small amount of fresh snow…38 rooms rented, only a few folios to deliver to departing rooms and ol’ Sparrow didn’t see anyone from the time Assistant Front Desk Manager Q left until the porters started showing up at 0500. 

The big news is there is a new reward club sign-up tally on the whiteboard in the back office…Our names used to be listed horizontally but not anymore…Probably in celebration of the new year, they are now listed vertically, in two columns and gone is my tally of 9,372 sign-ups, which I thought funny but not funny enough to write it in again. 

Nicole made a colossal error on the wake-up call greeting, confusing the months, announcing it was December 2nd instead of January 2nd  and you could tell she caught it because there was a slight hesitation and you could almost hear her wondering whether or not to start over… Fortunately, I changed it before a guest was obliged to listen to it, or they might have been confused and thought it was still December 2020 instead of January 2021. 

Also this morning yours truly was obliged to make a new sign for one of the urinals in the lobby men’s room…There are two urinals and one as a sign announcing it’s closed to comply with distancing regulations – one of the crapper stalls is closed, too, which I don’t understand at all – but I still use it because it’s my favorite…Well, I happened to, you know, get some product on it and not even ol’ Sparrow could let that go, so I went and made another one, tho there wasn’t any Scotch tape to be found, obliging me to use the packing tape. 

Knocking off work marked the end of the holidays for yours truly and I’ve got admit, these were the best in ages…From visiting Uncle Rudy and Aunt Susie over Thanksgiving to a quiet, well-fed Christmas to a fun New Year’s Eve gathering, they were wonderful…Yeah, New Year’s Day sort of blew, but that’s all right, we can’t quibble…And there are still three beef Wellingtons leftover in the freezer, too. 

Sparrow’s Sleep Log: 1500 Saturday until 2130 Saturday…6.5 hours for the day and 44 hours for the week, a strong finish after only getting three hours earlier in the week. 

The Diary of a Nobody is a novel. All elements are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Anything else is a coincidence. 

It was inspired by the 19th-century British novel of the same name. 

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