When Read Free Sunday and Read Free Fortnight collide you, the reader, benefit.
Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…
Saturday, January 23
The big news – and it’s pretty big – is for the first time in over two years at the hotel ol’ Sparrow was late reporting for duty.
I am not making that up…A full three minutes late, to boot…The problem was – outside of me leaving too late, of course – was the roads were a tad slow because there’d been some snow but the big problem was this slowpoke hauling a car on a trailer that was going 40 effing miles per hour…I caught up with him shortly after pulling out of the small town and I wasn’t able to pass until we got out of the canyon.
Now that I think about actually, ol’ Sparrow was out of the house early enuff, but I went and checked the mail first…My car registration tags were in there, as well as some other useless stuff, but not the COVID check, which I am keeping an eye out for because half of it belongs to The Ex…This cost me some time, of course, because the post office is a mile the other way, and I didn’t pass The Shire on the way out until 17 after the hour, still early enough to get to the hotel on time with good roads and no slowpokes in front of you, but still, I should have left earlier.
The hotel was busy, too…Assistant Front Desk Manager Q was dealing with a couple of guests and ol’ Sparrow actually had to work…I am not making that up, either…Regular readers of this crap know it’s been pretty slow lately, slow enuff where actually having to perform real front desk duties multiple times qualifies as big news…Between arrivals and walk-ins the cash drawers weren’t counted until a bit after midnight and there were two room service trays to return to the restaurant and despite the fact there were only four folios to deliver, that wasn’t done until just before 0200.
One guy’s debit card would not authorize…He was a late arrival who, while I was checking him in, asked if his card was going to be charged right then, an immediate clue you’re not dealing with a Rockefeller…I told him no, not charged, but we will authorize it for the length of your stay, plus $20 a night for incidentals and it was hardly the Upset of the Year when his card declined…He was a nebbish sort who tried to make it seem this was all my fault before coming to his senses and transferring some money to the card…The transfer was not immediate, tho, and we stood there like dolts for a few minutes until it went thru…He asked if it had to be authorized for the full amount and I lied and said yes…It didn’t have to be because ol’ Sparrow could have fiddled around in the system and changed the authorization to, say, the first nite only, but that would be a pain in the arse for both him and us, and it was better to wait.
It was busy enuff that in a fit of pique yours truly was gouging walk-ins for $209 a night, plus tax…Usually, I would have asked $179 or so, but I was in the mood to maximize revenues…Of course, if they had walked out I would have been wheeling and dealing looking to move some product but nobody even so much as blinked and I moved three rooms at $209, plus tax.
I’ll tell you what, ol’ Sparrow is aging rather well…Further proof, as if more was required, came tonight when Mrs G checked in…She had booked because there was some problem with the condo they’d rented and they needed a place to stay for the night…Anyway, at first glance I thought she was an attractive older woman, maybe 60 or so and, like me, aging fairly well…She gives me her ID and out of curiosity I check the age and holy crap, she was born in 1970, so she’s five years younger than me…I am not making that up and I have to be honest, it was pretty good for morale.
The knife got some good use tonight, its first decent work in a while…In fact, it pretty much got max use…The box of coffee in the back coffee room needed to be replaced, which meant not only did it need to be opened, but the tops had to be cut off, too, and the old box broken down…Almost interesting is the fact that when I opened the box it was immediately clear, even to me, that the packages were silver, instead of the unusual yellow and white…This could have been an oopsies moment for whomever (probably Q) ordered it because what if the silver packets contained some inferior swill blend, but a quick check showed it was the European light blend we always get.
All the creamer needed to be replaced, too…Well, the French vanilla box didn’t really need to be changed, it could have held out a couple of more days, but yours truly was changing out the hazelnut and half & half boxes, so why stop the momentum???
Had a very pleasant morning with the cat…After feeding her and getting some laundry in the wash I reported to the chair for immediate reading duty and so did the cat, which is rare because she seldom joins me in the chair…And when she does it’s not on my lap, either…I tend to almost lay down in the chair, which has an ottoman, and the cat – when she chooses to favor me with her presence – will actually sit mostly on my right shoulder and partly on the cushion, facing the back of the chair.
She has a routine she goes thru first, though…She’ll stand on the desk and stare at me for a bit, then she’ll hop onto my chest and start pawing around like cats do and then she’ll assume the position.
Sparrow’s Sleep Log: 1400 Sunday until 2130 Sunday…7.5 hours for the day and a wonderful 48.0 hours for the week, the highest total of the young year…In fact, the totals have been getting progressively higher this month and at this rate we’ll be spending the entire week in the sack by spring.
The Diary of a Nobody is a novel. All elements are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Anything else is a coincidence.
It was inspired by the 19th-century British novel of the same name.
Go Gaylon! Follow him on Facebook.
