The Diary of a Nobody/January 26

Like a fruit fly, Read Free Fortnight simply will not go away. 

Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…

Tuesday, January 26
Following the pizza she’d left for me Monday, Amy and I had a rather dull discussion on its merits…Recall it was a white pizza with some mushroom and bison meat and what appeared to be spinach and some sort of sauce squirted on it…With typical tact – being careful not to disparage the pizza because, you know, she’d given me two slices – I asked her what she thought of the bison meat.

It turns out she wasn’t particularly thrilled with it, either, noting the bison meat seemed “stringy” something ol’ Sparrow noted but chose not to whine about, adding, tho, it was hardly a “classic pizza accompaniment. 

Actually, Amy wasn’t altogether thrilled with the whole thing…She said she had ordered the Shroom Kaboom pizza and while there were certainly mushrooms on it, she didn’t think there were enuff to warrant a top billing such as Shroom Kaboom…I quickly agreed with her, because yours truly had noticed some mushrooms, but not all that many, frankly…In fact, based on featured ingredients, it probably should have been called Spinach Shazam more than Shroom Kaboom. 

I hope Amy never buys this pizza again. 

The big news is the shelf in the sundry stand was repaired…I don’t why I’m surprised it only took two days because Luke runs a pretty squared away Maintenance Department, but I was…Ol’ Sparrow didn’t fiddle around with it too much because he didn’t want to break it (again), but the repair did pass a modest field test and Lord knows the display certainly looks better with a proper amount of fully-stocked shelves. 

In administrative news, we’ve added a new report to the Housekeeping Report we generate every morning, the 5510 report, which lists the rooms that paid pet fees for the night.

This is because while I was off some housekeepers – probably afraid of being eaten – had whined they weren’t aware a room they were assigned to clean had a dog in it…It’s customary to list the dog rooms on the Housekeeping Report, and in the reg card bucket these are noted with a picture of paws paperclipped to the card…Well, evidently not all doggie rooms were getting listed, so now we are instructed to review the 5510 report while filling out the Housekeeping Report. 

You gotta be careful here, tho, because not every room pays a pet fee, either because some numbskull desk clerk forgot to enter it or because it was waived…The past couple of nights I’ve printed out the 5510 report and compared that with the bucket and for good measure attached it to the Housekeeping Report.  

Today’s workout was strong…the 190 bench press was moved eight times, solid for the second time out at that weight, and leg work – both the cable leg extensions and the cable leg press – is getting stronger, but it should be noted when you’re just starting out on a machine it’s not uncommon to see gains early. 

I was about halfway thru my morning soak in the heart spring when an older gent – not the Sunday Yapper – enters and immediately makes it clear he would like to yap…Christ, I thought, another one, but his introductory talking point (ITP) concerned him getting gout in the backcountry of Mongolia…Well, that’s actually pretty interesting and he was pretty engaging and it turned out to be a decent chat…He was never entirely sure why he go gout, but he did note he was eating a lot of fat and other traditional Mongolian fare, all of which was loaded with salt, which he also seldom ate, so the thinking was, perhaps, the change of diet did him in. 

Later, I told him it was time for me to go and I exited the heart spring but he kept on talking…Dude, when I say it’s time to go, it’s time to go, it’s not your cue to introduce new talking points…It’s zero degrees out…I am not going to stand there and turn into a popsicle so you can continue your story, no matter how goddamned interesting it may be, so I violated decorum and turned and left with him still talking.

Sparrow’s Sleep Log: 1430 Tuesday until 2130 Tuesday…7.0 hours for the day and 19.5 hours for the week. 

I’ll be honest, I’m not entirely sure what time I went down…I stirred about 1700 or so but it’s not clear if that was waking up slumber or if I  hadn’t drifted off yet…A dream wasn’t recalled, but on the other hand, I don’t remember just lying there, either…Key is yours truly woke up feeling strong and rested, so there’s a ‘moderate’ level of confidence 7.0 hours is an accurate total. 

The Diary of a Nobody is a novel. All elements are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Anything else is a coincidence. 

It was inspired by the 19th-century British novel of the same name. 

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