The Diary of a Nobody/January 9

Of course it’s Read Free Sunday at The Diary of a Nobody. Enjoy.

Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…

Saturday, January 9
Finally, some quarters at the front desk. 

You might think this is a minor issue, but it’s not because quarters and fives are two of the most useful things you can have in a cash drawer…People pay cash for stuff from the sundry stand but the big thing is they need quarters so they can do their laundry…This morning though, each drawer had two rolls of quarters, plus assorted loose ones. 

The drawers still aren’t at the level of a professional drawer, tho…There are too many twenties and not enough fives and the safe is not properly stocked, either, and if too many guests want clean clothes all at once we’ll be back to not having enuff again. 

I had just returned to the lobby – pushing a luggage cart after returning three room service trays to the restaurant – and there is a stunningly beautiful girl standing at the front desk who sort of looks familiar…I ask how I may be of service and she asks if a guest just checked in…No one in particular, just a guest and in a regretful tone I advised I couldn’t give out that information and it was right about now that I recognized her.

Her name is Dee and only the longest-term readers will remember we used to work together at the timeshare where I was, nominally, her supervisor because she was the relief night auditor and was never around on day shift and if she recognized yours truly at all she reserved that knowledge for herself…The last I’d heard she was running the front desk at another timeshare (there’s about seven thousand in town) and she should have known that guest info is not passed out like drink coupons. 

Anyway, she added “I just need to know” if someone was staying here…Look, broad, I don’t particularly care what you “just need”, you are not getting squat out of me and ol’ Sparrow repeated as if it pained him that he simply cannot give out guest information…Then she noted she was looking for Unit 408. 

Well, that made it easy because we call rooms and not units and we don’t have a 408 besides, so I told her that so in somewhat of a huff she turned and left and a quick glance she still drove a Mercedes. 

Look, there could be other reasons she was standing in a hotel lobby at zero one hundred in a classy overcoat, but I have significant professional experience in this matter and I got the impression she was working it…I mean, she wasn’t holding a pizza and there aren’t a whole lot of other quest services to be provided at that time of the morning…Fortunately, I am long past the stage where this is even remotely intriguing and promptly forgot about it…More power to her.  

In paperwork news, there was a modest conundrum while filling out the Housekeeping Report this morning…During winter we have airline crews staying the night with us and these rooms are listed on the report because they have assorted departure times…Usually they have two rooms, but tonite they had four and the conundrum was in what order to list them on the report…Do you list them in room number order, or in the order of their departure time and if you do that do you list them earliest-to-latest or vice versa???

A tuff call, but regular readers of this crap know these are the calls I get paid to make without bothering anyone and I addressed the matter in my usual manner: standing there with my hands on my hips staring at the report for a few seconds before deciding to list the four rooms in numerical order, a decision which will probably set an industry-wide precedent. 

The big news is my underwear finally came in…Recall I’d ordered some on December 22nd, four pairs and at a great savings, too, the type of savings that is generally reserved for after-Christmas sales…They probably should have arrived before the New Year and last week I started getting curious and some checking showed they were hung up in North Carolina, tho why a company in Wisconsin ships a package out west via North Carolina may remain a mystery for the ages…Anyway, I didn’t really need them right now so I held off calling to see if they could resend them, and evidently the package was found in a corner somewhere…It’s quality gear and will last a long time and ol’ Sparrow now has no less than seven pairs of underwear, five of this brand and two of another, which are kind of old and are probably going to be phased out. 

Sparrow’s Sleep Log: 1030 Saturday until 1730 Saturday…8.0 hours for the day and 47.0 hours for the week, a fine total and up 4.0 hours from last week. 

I know all of you are staring at the 1000 go-to-bed time with dropped jaws…The new schedule – which calls for an afternoon retiring time on Saturdays – has been in effect for a month or so now but on return to The Shire ol’ Sparrow was beat and after only some reading was dozing off. 

The Diary of a Nobody is a novel. All elements are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Anything else is a coincidence. 

It was inspired by the 19th-century British novel of the same name. 

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