The Diary of a Nobody/December 3

Of course it’s Read Free Sunday (RFS) at The Diary.

It’s Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…

Saturday, December 3
It was pretty busy at the hotel when we reported for duty…Amy was dealing with a rather short, stout woman who couldn’t make up her mind what kind of room she wanted for the upgrade Amy was trying to give her…Courtyard view or mountain view???…Suite or deluxe room???…First floor or second floor???…The guest gave the impression the weight of the world was on her shoulders, tho in her defense it was not an easy decision because not every room is on every floor. 

Right as she and Amy are discussing the vital matter of her complimentary upgrade, the bell at door #1 rings…(The door locks automatically at 2250 or so.)…I go and open it and it’s this rather masculine woman and my first thought is it would not be the Upset of the Year to find out she and the woman in the lobby are a couple: she was dressed in slacks and a sports shirt and could’ve just come from a photo shoot for Aqua Velva.  

We get back to the lobby and the woman has made her decision when the phone rings and it’s 111 needing two blankets…Now, it’s important to find out here if they mean a regular blanket or a comforter because sometimes idiot guests use the terms interchangeably and it turned out she wasn’t the reigning Ms Textile because ol’ Sparrow had to describe both to her…By this time Amy has the gals on their way and says she’ll take care of 111 because she has to go to 265 and change the sheets on the bed…The room is rented to a company that delivers mail here from the big city and drivers rotate in and out and Amy said a new driver called and said he’d be in in the morning and could he get the sheets changed???…Good thing he talked to Amy because ol’ Sparrow would’ve said no, but I will put fresh sheets outside the door and you can change them yourself. 

The big news is there was not a workout today…Regular readers of this crap know we’ve been getting into the gym on Saturday nites for the past couple of months but we slept thru it today (see Sleep Log below)…This was an upset, frankly…We were nice and tired when we got home this morning, started dozing while in the chair reading right on schedule, and were asleep soon enuff after hitting the sack…Then we woke up about 1130 or so to use the can and BOOM, we couldn’t get back to sleep, a phenomenon that happens from time to time…After some time not getting to sleep, we reported back to the chair for further reading duty and were dozing off again in short enuff order so we went back to bed, executed a patented Sparrow Roll Over (SRO) just for funsies and were back asleep if not immediately, at least soon enuff.

We woke up again, after a dream, about 1730 and thought yeah, baby, we can be in the gym in plenty of time for a workout, but we were asleep again before you could say “patented Sparrow Roll Over” and the next you know BOOM! Mr Alarm is going off at 2130.

All right, you hate miss Saturday Nite Workout (SNW), but the gym is open Sunday mornings, too, so we packed our workout gear, not to mention both pre-workout supplements, in case we were feeling strong and wanted to get a Sunday morning workout in.  

Sparrow’s Sleep Log:
0930 Saturday until 1130 Saturday
1430 Saturday until 2130 Saturday

9.0 hours for the day and there’s a new Heavyweight Champion of the World, folks, because 59 hours for the week is a new Sparrow personal best (SPB)…We are not making that up, a full three-hour increase from the last SPB…God bless all of you.

———

The Diary of a Nobody is a novel. All elements are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Anything else is a coincidence. 

It was inspired by the 19th-century British novel of the same name. 

Coming soon! Gaylon’s books in actual book form!

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