The Diary of a Nobody/February 12

Yay for Read Free Sunday (RFS) at The Diary.

It’s Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…

Saturday, February 12
The bar was still open when yours truly reported for duty, tho it closed about 20 minutes later, meaning a group of a half-dozen or so which apparently had just met each other was left wondering how to amuse themselves. 

It was plain they had all just met and, to their credit, they attempted to call it a night – and were just drunk enuff to promise every-hour-on-the-hour communication until the end of time – when they decided, what the heck, let’s go take a group photo, so they retired to the back of the lobby in front of the fireplace…This wasn’t enuff, either and, despite some actually having the nerve to say goodnite, some were determined to have still more fun and before you knew it they were all sitting down and chatting some more…This nonsense went on for almost an hour before the group – all hugging and weeping until the end – decided to call it a nite. 

I was pulling the register tray out of the left cash drawer (Mark’s home drawer, by the by) when a dangerously thin woman walked up…Since the tray was in my hand I put it back in the drawer and slummed for the easy joke: 

– You’re not here to rob me, are you???
She took this seriously which, of course, meant she was either not funny or was really funny…It was tuff to tell.
– Why???…Do I look like a robber???
She seemed genuinely curious.
– No, but robbers go tactical now…I just thought I’d ask. 

Actually, what she was there for was to see if her fancy-pants “hydration bottle” had been turned in after she’d left it at the swimming pool…Luck was with her: Amy had pointed it out and said it had been left at the pool…There was some modest hilarity when she said it was lite blue in color and I could’ve sworn it was white and briefly thought she was out of luck, but I went and got it and BOOM, it was light blue. 

The big news is yours truly actually bought some hair care stuff at the retailer after work…Regular readers of this crap may – or they may not – recall ol’ Sparrow has been letting his grow out and the stuff on top is still standing straight up but soon its sheer weight will cause it to fall down…In anticipation of this, some Brylcreem was procured and, just for funsies, I bought some guy hair spray, too…Just to test it out…I’m happy with Brylcreem, but you’ve got to liven things up from time to time. 

Today would’ve been a great day for there to still have been a gym here in the small town…Ol’ Sparrow was up after eight satisfying hours in the sack (see Sleep Log below) feeling strong and a workout right then would’ve completely ruled…But, of course, there isn’t a gym in our small town anymore…Well, technically there is…Recall Ryan sold his gear to the small town and it’s at the new community center right now, but they were getting ready to close and yours truly has never been there anyway and it’s ten bucks for a daily pass besides.

Now, had yours truly hustled, he could’ve been in the gym in town by 1900 and done with the troika by their 2100 closing time…And it was strongly considered, too, because boy, fully rested we could’ve knocked out a great workout…But that leaves you two hours to kill before the hotel and where would you kill them at???…You could sit in the lobby at the hotel for two hours doing project work but ol’ Sparrow is philosophically opposed to hanging out at work when not on the clock because what if the lobby’s busy and I’m in the way???…The fast-food joint would’ve worked, too, but two hours there would have yielded too many temptations, and ol’ Sparrow’s been known to yield. 

And it’s hardly as if a proper morning routine is grinding torture, either…As it was coffee was put on and some laundry folded and started and some dishes were even washed before settling in for project work and some reading and, get this, after a satisfactory amount of reading was done, there was still an hour to kill, so yours truly actually went back to bed – lying on the couch not being leisurely enuff – and listened to some stuff. 

(We could work out Sunday morning, of course, after knocking off the hotel, but boy, working out 15 hours after rising is bad for morale…You’re tired and the mind quickly loses interest.)

Sparrow’s Sleep Log: 0830 Saturday until 1630 Saturday…8.0 hours for the day and 49.0 hours for the week


The Diary of a Nobody is a novel. All elements are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Anything else is a coincidence. 

 It was inspired by the 19th-century British novel of the same name. 

 Gaylon’s books can also be found at The Reading Salon.

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