The Diary of a Nobody/June 18

Q: Is it Read Free Sunday at The Diary?
A: Of course it is.

It’s Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…

Saturday, June 18
Boy, the back of the lobby was packed with guys slamming brewskis when yours truly reported for duty tonite…They were so serious about matters they even had a cooler with them and Assistant Front Desk Manager Q said they had initially set up on the restaurant’s porch, but they were shooed away from there. 

This could be bad, depending on how much beer they had left and the usual nightmares about dealing with drunks and cleaning up puke presented themselves, but evidently “Party’s Over” Sparrow’s arrival signaled it was time to tone it down and most of the guys, and the cooler, were gone before Q clocked out…The remaining guys, all pretty mellow and content to talk about their kid’s baseball teams, stayed until midnite or so. 

The cash drawers were completely out of hand tonite…The right drawer was $3.75 over which is hardly a bulletin, but the left drawer was a whopping $63.50 short and the safe, of all things, was $50 short…Everything was identical to when yours truly last counted it Wednesday, save for the fact a $50 bill was missing. 

And someone – there are no suspects – farted around with the Housekeeping report form and it is now called the Housekeeping Audit form…I have some zero clue why either; it’s not as if you’re auditing anything…I mean, we’re producing a Housekeeping report, not reviewing a Housekeeping account, and the report advises Housekeeping of useful things, like late checkouts and stayovers and doggie rooms…You would think whoever did this would be busy enuff during the summer to not do something trivial like this, but you’d be wrong…I mean, you can understand a desk clerk who’s bored and who wants to fart around with official forms doing so during off-season, but now???…There is no reason for this. 

The big news is we are out of a couple of things: one is Coca-Cola and the other are those folders we put your room keys in. 

There must be some sort of supply chain issue with Coke because soda deliveries come Tuesday mornings and they had the other soda products, but no Coke…The guest suffers, of course, because we move a lot of Coke, but without any to offer ol’ Sparrow was obliged to put Diet Coke and Sprite in the two racks usually reserved for Coke. 

In other beverage news, that new filter I bought for the purifier on the kitchen sink is really good…The old one we used to get had one filter and produced tasty water but boy, this new one has two filter processes and you can tell the difference…Heck, it’s so good, you could probably bottle it and make some dough off it. 

Recall that in addition to the hot new water filters, we also bought a new cat box at the retailer last week and we are pleased to report the cat has adjusted seamlessly to her new can: there have been no protest crappings or whizzings around the house…Not that we were expecting any…The new box is the exact same style as the old one – tho the color was changed from blue to tan – and is in the exact same place, and the brand of litter wasn’t changed so trouble wasn’t expected, but you never know when a cat is going to get finicky on you. 

Sparrow’s Sleep Log:
0830 Saturday until 1200 Saturday
1630 Saturday until 2130 Saturday

8.5 hours for the day and 50.5 hours for the week…We know you’re as happy as we are to the 50-hour sleep become the norm again. 

Again with the split Saturday sleep session (SSSS), tho…For some reason, ol’ Sparrow cannot get back to sleep after getting up to use the can on Saturdays…We’re not really complaining about this – well, yes we are – but 


The Diary of a Nobody is a novel. All elements are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Anything else is a coincidence. 

 It was inspired by the 19th-century British novel of the same name. 

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